My uncle asked me if I could bake a tray of goodies for his work. This was usually a task left for my mom, her prestine fudge (that I never got a chance to learn), her awesome sugar cookies, etc. I think Carol said it best a couple weeks ago when she said that I just "fell into my moms place." I've been cooking and planning our gatherings and so on. I sit here and wonder how the heck she did as much as she did??? She could work, get in gym, shopping, yard work and baking/cooking. She went to bed last and got up first... how? She loved her family, she loved making people happy, it was her very own gift to herself.
I miss that woman a lot. You'll never know true loss until you lose a parent or a child, I suppose. I'm still trying to climb out of the deepest loss I've ever known but I'll get by because I'm her daughter and I won't quit or give in. I may have my moments of weakness but who doesn't? I spent a lot of time chasing happy but I'm pretty sure it's been around me this whole time. It's always there but sometimes we focus on the days ahead instead of the present moments.
So thank you mom, for showing me so many things. I felt a little whimsical baking a lot of your recipes in your kitchen last night. Miss you and love you...
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