Saturday, September 29, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I'm back... well sort of.
So I went to the fair last night with my family. I need to remind myself more often how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my family. I forget sometimes, I don't mean to but it happens to the best of us. We did our usual, hit 8+ different food vendors, sharing everything that got brought to the table. It was great. Then we headed off to find my pictures. I entered 5; 2 b&w and 3 color. Found my one from Zion: Honorable Mention (sweet). Found my Fire in the sky, nothing (oh well). Found my little flowers being watered, nothing (again, not surprised). Found my Flintstones Front Yard: 6th Place (yay). Found my favorite pic of all, the close of up of the flower I paint on all the time: 3rd (woohoo). So 3 of my 5 got tagged. Not too bad. There were a lot more pics entered this year, some you look at and think, really? And others you're not surprised at all.
I had fun walking around, taking pics with my phone and my little Nikon Coolpix (Nikki). I enjoyed the lights, the conversation, the cheesy carnival games and the smells of the fair and fall. Just an all around good night.
So I went to the fair last night with my family. I need to remind myself more often how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my family. I forget sometimes, I don't mean to but it happens to the best of us. We did our usual, hit 8+ different food vendors, sharing everything that got brought to the table. It was great. Then we headed off to find my pictures. I entered 5; 2 b&w and 3 color. Found my one from Zion: Honorable Mention (sweet). Found my Fire in the sky, nothing (oh well). Found my little flowers being watered, nothing (again, not surprised). Found my Flintstones Front Yard: 6th Place (yay). Found my favorite pic of all, the close of up of the flower I paint on all the time: 3rd (woohoo). So 3 of my 5 got tagged. Not too bad. There were a lot more pics entered this year, some you look at and think, really? And others you're not surprised at all.
I had fun walking around, taking pics with my phone and my little Nikon Coolpix (Nikki). I enjoyed the lights, the conversation, the cheesy carnival games and the smells of the fair and fall. Just an all around good night.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
For all the things we struggle through, it’s those moments at the top that keep us constantly striving for more. We walk with encouragement, we speak through watching and listening and we love from our souls. So many things we do alone but our beginnings in life came with so much love and caring that we strive that much more when surrounded by a strong support system.
Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in your life’s work? I think at least once a day I wonder, how did I get myself into this situation? How am I going to accomplish all of THAT? How is there time for anyone else in my life? Things constantly change around you, constantly make you look in the mirror at yourself and say, “well, it has to get done and no one can do it but you.”
You. Me. Us.
You do the best you can from day to day in hope that with good intentions, come good outcomes.
Me, selfish alone but powerful on a whole other realm.
Us occurred by a mysterious happenstance and combines the best of your heart and the powerful mindset of me.
*~*
May the “me & you” of your life find the “us” you've been destined to have since lifes' first breath.
Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in your life’s work? I think at least once a day I wonder, how did I get myself into this situation? How am I going to accomplish all of THAT? How is there time for anyone else in my life? Things constantly change around you, constantly make you look in the mirror at yourself and say, “well, it has to get done and no one can do it but you.”
You. Me. Us.
You do the best you can from day to day in hope that with good intentions, come good outcomes.
Me, selfish alone but powerful on a whole other realm.
Us occurred by a mysterious happenstance and combines the best of your heart and the powerful mindset of me.
*~*
May the “me & you” of your life find the “us” you've been destined to have since lifes' first breath.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
YAY!!!
So I was informed yesterday that I am the proud owner of an Optimus Prime Flannel Blanky! *jumps up and down* In case you didn't know, I absolutely LOVE Transformers! Alix was saying that she wanted to unfold it and my reply was, "this is one Auto bot you can't roll out." *giggles incessantly* One of the corniest things I've said but it started coming out of my mouth before I could stop it.
So I was informed yesterday that I am the proud owner of an Optimus Prime Flannel Blanky! *jumps up and down* In case you didn't know, I absolutely LOVE Transformers! Alix was saying that she wanted to unfold it and my reply was, "this is one Auto bot you can't roll out." *giggles incessantly* One of the corniest things I've said but it started coming out of my mouth before I could stop it.
Winding Down
I'm finally settling into my life. My ability to balance isn't the best yet but I'm working on it. If I'm constantly aware of it and putting in a true effort then at least I'm working toward a goal. I've also decided that not putting the laundry away as soon as it comes out of dryer won't kill anyone. It bugged me before and I'm not sure why. I like my car to be messy otherwise I can't find anything. I like my art stuff to be in perfect lines, containers and labeled but I can't lose all my quirks, right? :) I like my desk that has dvd's, my iPod plugged in, my Lappy with cable/recordable tv and pictures scattered about trying to decide which one(s) to work on next.
My router is a pain in my ass and my GPS doesn't like Windows Vista but all in all, it just makes me laugh. I don't get mad like I used to, I may get a little annoyed but I don't feel anger inside. I do things for people because I want to, not to get something out of it. I'm a nice girl. I want to stroll through life knowing that, now, I'm doing the best of my ability and more importantly, creativity.
Just feeling really balanced today. Not super tired, not cracked out awake but just floating through and it's nice.
May you walk a little lighter today...
I'm finally settling into my life. My ability to balance isn't the best yet but I'm working on it. If I'm constantly aware of it and putting in a true effort then at least I'm working toward a goal. I've also decided that not putting the laundry away as soon as it comes out of dryer won't kill anyone. It bugged me before and I'm not sure why. I like my car to be messy otherwise I can't find anything. I like my art stuff to be in perfect lines, containers and labeled but I can't lose all my quirks, right? :) I like my desk that has dvd's, my iPod plugged in, my Lappy with cable/recordable tv and pictures scattered about trying to decide which one(s) to work on next.
My router is a pain in my ass and my GPS doesn't like Windows Vista but all in all, it just makes me laugh. I don't get mad like I used to, I may get a little annoyed but I don't feel anger inside. I do things for people because I want to, not to get something out of it. I'm a nice girl. I want to stroll through life knowing that, now, I'm doing the best of my ability and more importantly, creativity.
Just feeling really balanced today. Not super tired, not cracked out awake but just floating through and it's nice.
May you walk a little lighter today...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
*tears*
So my bunco friend has passed on to walk in realms unbeknown to us on Earth. Yana you'll be terribly missed. My heart goes out to her family... may you find some kind of inner peace knowing she won't suffer anymore.
"hand to hand, heart to heart... I walk by your side, never in front to lead, never behind to leave you but as your equal, as your friend."
So my bunco friend has passed on to walk in realms unbeknown to us on Earth. Yana you'll be terribly missed. My heart goes out to her family... may you find some kind of inner peace knowing she won't suffer anymore.
"hand to hand, heart to heart... I walk by your side, never in front to lead, never behind to leave you but as your equal, as your friend."
Audit
I have to be at work in 30 minutes for an Audit by the company that basically is what keeps us running. So if we lost them, that could be major trouble. I have to wear pants, my work polo shirt and tennis shoes. I hate shoes. I want my flippy floppies. Later, they're in the car *wink*
I can't believe I'm going to work in the dark. Just thought I'd share. I have to go flat iron my rainbow hair, that should get some smiles, right?
I have to be at work in 30 minutes for an Audit by the company that basically is what keeps us running. So if we lost them, that could be major trouble. I have to wear pants, my work polo shirt and tennis shoes. I hate shoes. I want my flippy floppies. Later, they're in the car *wink*
I can't believe I'm going to work in the dark. Just thought I'd share. I have to go flat iron my rainbow hair, that should get some smiles, right?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
To my friend...
I met you 3 short years ago and I thought you are one of the most funny women I've met and you're quite spunky for your age. I love your accent and the way you connect with your daughter. You enjoy a good beer and snack with the best of us. You can roll dice and get buncos like nothing I've ever seen...
I got a call a short while ago that one of my friends from my bunco is in a medically induced coma and doesn't have much longer to live.
Yana you are an amazing gal. You've gone through 2 cancers since I've met you and you're a fighter. No one can deny that, you came to bunco with your wigs and ripped them off proclaiming, "it's cooler this way!" We would laugh and you loved your baldness and the money you were saving on shampoo. Nights when you looked down, you always found a way to smile and I've ALWAYS admired that about you. I don't know that I could be so strong and you are definitely a force to not be messed with.
As I can not stand by your side to hold your hand, I walk by your side in my thoughts...
I met you 3 short years ago and I thought you are one of the most funny women I've met and you're quite spunky for your age. I love your accent and the way you connect with your daughter. You enjoy a good beer and snack with the best of us. You can roll dice and get buncos like nothing I've ever seen...
I got a call a short while ago that one of my friends from my bunco is in a medically induced coma and doesn't have much longer to live.
Yana you are an amazing gal. You've gone through 2 cancers since I've met you and you're a fighter. No one can deny that, you came to bunco with your wigs and ripped them off proclaiming, "it's cooler this way!" We would laugh and you loved your baldness and the money you were saving on shampoo. Nights when you looked down, you always found a way to smile and I've ALWAYS admired that about you. I don't know that I could be so strong and you are definitely a force to not be messed with.
As I can not stand by your side to hold your hand, I walk by your side in my thoughts...
Friday, September 14, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Righting Wrongs... aka misunderstandings they are-a many!
So Monday night I went to a football party with some friends. I hadn't planned on it but by the request of a really awesome friend, I went and I'm glad I did. Our community is small enough that separating myself really isn't going to solve anything. The games were alright, the food was super yummy but the friends are what make it worth it. However, this is where the trouble began.
Funny how it works but some people you only see when football season comes around. Our city is big in some ways but tiny in so many as well. I'm sure this is typical in most LGBT communities but we're divided in about 4 groups. I worked really hard to mesh between 2 and have done a really great job, well so I thought.
I have been given the task to put on a Halloween party. Okay, threaten me with a great time! I have a plan. I will have lots of wonderful help and I'm even going to be given a budget. Everyone is very supportive. Well everyone but the people who were actually suppose to host the party and have for the past few years. When this idea was first brought up, it was immediately brought up that MCC (another group) needed to be contacted right away to see when their party was as to not conflict with it or step on any toes. My immediate thought was "why can't we combine the two?" Being that I am only a year into the "active" community I didn't ask, I still have a lot to learn and I'm just observing the dynamics still. Fast Forward to Monday Night when I was approached by 2 friends about the Halloween Party.
It was brought to my attention that we had squashed their party and they weren't even initially told, they found out through a 3rd party. Okay, shitty. AND I felt about this small .
Now they immediately said, they knew it wasn't my intention and I probably had no idea and by the look on my face they knew they were right. We talked it out and I apologized like a 100 times. I mean one of them really had their feelings hurt and I felt HORRIBLE about that.
I was trying to believe that there was some kind of miscommunication. After discussing it with Alix, we both thought it best, I shelf it for the night and think of a constructive way to handle this since a board meeting was the next night. GREAT ADVICE! I woke up feeling like it was time to handle my business and going to the gym before the meeting really helped me get my energy focused in a positive way. I decided that smaller was better and when I brought it up another person also had the same problem I did... what happened to the other party? After some great discussion and clearing up of A LOT of unanswered questions, it just wasn't voiced down to the right people in the right manner. So now that was cleared up but I wanted it more. *shocker, wiggles fingers* I asked, "is it possible to combine the two?" There was no resistance, no looks of horror. I explained that I would love to have a united front and combine crowds that might not normally do so. I'd like this to happen more often and I think this being such a "fun" event that this would be a great place to start. The idea was embraced and I was given reins to be the liaison between the 2. *all smiles* Part 1... DONE.
Part 2
Now I needed to contact my friends and see if they were honestly okay with the 2 combining. I called and explained EVERYTHING that had happened. My new intentions and what they thought. We discussed it and they were quite happy (well from what I could tell) and are looking forward to working together. I am also going to MCC's board meeting next week to present my ideas and start working with them on this. I was commended on my handling of situation and feel really good about how it turned out. *HUGE SMILES*
Now begin the plans, budgeting and making sure both parties stay happy and well communicated. Lots of notes and emails but I'm ready for it. This is what I do :)
So the lesson and advice here is: If you have a problem with someone/something or don't understand things that are going on, don't ask others "around" them, just go directly to the source and ask. You're going to get an honest answer and there is no guess work involved. The worst that happens is you find out the truth and there is nothing wrong with that.
So Monday night I went to a football party with some friends. I hadn't planned on it but by the request of a really awesome friend, I went and I'm glad I did. Our community is small enough that separating myself really isn't going to solve anything. The games were alright, the food was super yummy but the friends are what make it worth it. However, this is where the trouble began.
Funny how it works but some people you only see when football season comes around. Our city is big in some ways but tiny in so many as well. I'm sure this is typical in most LGBT communities but we're divided in about 4 groups. I worked really hard to mesh between 2 and have done a really great job, well so I thought.
I have been given the task to put on a Halloween party. Okay, threaten me with a great time! I have a plan. I will have lots of wonderful help and I'm even going to be given a budget. Everyone is very supportive. Well everyone but the people who were actually suppose to host the party and have for the past few years. When this idea was first brought up, it was immediately brought up that MCC (another group) needed to be contacted right away to see when their party was as to not conflict with it or step on any toes. My immediate thought was "why can't we combine the two?" Being that I am only a year into the "active" community I didn't ask, I still have a lot to learn and I'm just observing the dynamics still. Fast Forward to Monday Night when I was approached by 2 friends about the Halloween Party.
It was brought to my attention that we had squashed their party and they weren't even initially told, they found out through a 3rd party. Okay, shitty. AND I felt about this small .
Now they immediately said, they knew it wasn't my intention and I probably had no idea and by the look on my face they knew they were right. We talked it out and I apologized like a 100 times. I mean one of them really had their feelings hurt and I felt HORRIBLE about that.
I was trying to believe that there was some kind of miscommunication. After discussing it with Alix, we both thought it best, I shelf it for the night and think of a constructive way to handle this since a board meeting was the next night. GREAT ADVICE! I woke up feeling like it was time to handle my business and going to the gym before the meeting really helped me get my energy focused in a positive way. I decided that smaller was better and when I brought it up another person also had the same problem I did... what happened to the other party? After some great discussion and clearing up of A LOT of unanswered questions, it just wasn't voiced down to the right people in the right manner. So now that was cleared up but I wanted it more. *shocker, wiggles fingers* I asked, "is it possible to combine the two?" There was no resistance, no looks of horror. I explained that I would love to have a united front and combine crowds that might not normally do so. I'd like this to happen more often and I think this being such a "fun" event that this would be a great place to start. The idea was embraced and I was given reins to be the liaison between the 2. *all smiles* Part 1... DONE.
Part 2
Now I needed to contact my friends and see if they were honestly okay with the 2 combining. I called and explained EVERYTHING that had happened. My new intentions and what they thought. We discussed it and they were quite happy (well from what I could tell) and are looking forward to working together. I am also going to MCC's board meeting next week to present my ideas and start working with them on this. I was commended on my handling of situation and feel really good about how it turned out. *HUGE SMILES*
Now begin the plans, budgeting and making sure both parties stay happy and well communicated. Lots of notes and emails but I'm ready for it. This is what I do :)
So the lesson and advice here is: If you have a problem with someone/something or don't understand things that are going on, don't ask others "around" them, just go directly to the source and ask. You're going to get an honest answer and there is no guess work involved. The worst that happens is you find out the truth and there is nothing wrong with that.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
Welcome to California
So bringing the new girl into town is an event unto itself. It just so happened that Friday morning, the 31st, had a HUGE change of events. Magically Alix didn't have to move afterall and now had the entire weekend open... so by 3:00pm that afternoon we had her booked on a flight to be in BFL by 1:00am. SWEET! She was now going to be here for Pride and a little family gathering on Sunday.
I found us a hotel room for the weekend and put plans into motion. She was now going to be able to meet my friends... and my family. So far, all the family I have shared with have been very supportive of me. I'm lucky to have such an awesome family. I knew they would welcome her in the same way. Pride went off wonderfully, we had a great time and somehow, she got hooked into taking care of filler music between bands. Computers and music being her thing, she was pretty much at ease... once we got all our shit figured out :) Thanks again baby, everyone really appreciated it. She also helped me in the beer booth. That was fun within itself. It could have been 10 deg cooler but overall it was a great Pride and I can't wait to get started for next years :)
Sunday eve brought us to a small family bbq. I say small and that falls somewhere between 10-15 people. No big deal... well unless your family consists of 5. Alix walked in, smiled and I started to make the rounds with names. My uncle welcomed her in with a big hug, it was great and made me smile so big inside. We had a great time and she fit right in. My best friend of 16 years loved her and was glad to see me so happy, giving me 2 big thumbs up :)
*sigh* as always it went to fast but each time we get closer and it becomes more *wow.*
I look forward to all the "wows" of the future and key cards that won't work after one use... *wink* Thanks again baby.
So bringing the new girl into town is an event unto itself. It just so happened that Friday morning, the 31st, had a HUGE change of events. Magically Alix didn't have to move afterall and now had the entire weekend open... so by 3:00pm that afternoon we had her booked on a flight to be in BFL by 1:00am. SWEET! She was now going to be here for Pride and a little family gathering on Sunday.
I found us a hotel room for the weekend and put plans into motion. She was now going to be able to meet my friends... and my family. So far, all the family I have shared with have been very supportive of me. I'm lucky to have such an awesome family. I knew they would welcome her in the same way. Pride went off wonderfully, we had a great time and somehow, she got hooked into taking care of filler music between bands. Computers and music being her thing, she was pretty much at ease... once we got all our shit figured out :) Thanks again baby, everyone really appreciated it. She also helped me in the beer booth. That was fun within itself. It could have been 10 deg cooler but overall it was a great Pride and I can't wait to get started for next years :)
Sunday eve brought us to a small family bbq. I say small and that falls somewhere between 10-15 people. No big deal... well unless your family consists of 5. Alix walked in, smiled and I started to make the rounds with names. My uncle welcomed her in with a big hug, it was great and made me smile so big inside. We had a great time and she fit right in. My best friend of 16 years loved her and was glad to see me so happy, giving me 2 big thumbs up :)
*sigh* as always it went to fast but each time we get closer and it becomes more *wow.*
I look forward to all the "wows" of the future and key cards that won't work after one use... *wink* Thanks again baby.
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