Righting Wrongs... aka misunderstandings they are-a many!

So Monday night I went to a football party with some friends. I hadn't planned on it but by the request of a really awesome friend, I went and I'm glad I did. Our community is small enough that separating myself really isn't going to solve anything. The games were alright, the food was super yummy but the friends are what make it worth it. However, this is where the trouble began.

Funny how it works but some people you only see when football season comes around. Our city is big in some ways but tiny in so many as well. I'm sure this is typical in most LGBT communities but we're divided in about 4 groups. I worked really hard to mesh between 2 and have done a really great job, well so I thought.

I have been given the task to put on a Halloween party. Okay, threaten me with a great time! I have a plan. I will have lots of wonderful help and I'm even going to be given a budget. Everyone is very supportive. Well everyone but the people who were actually suppose to host the party and have for the past few years. When this idea was first brought up, it was immediately brought up that MCC (another group) needed to be contacted right away to see when their party was as to not conflict with it or step on any toes. My immediate thought was "why can't we combine the two?" Being that I am only a year into the "active" community I didn't ask, I still have a lot to learn and I'm just observing the dynamics still. Fast Forward to Monday Night when I was approached by 2 friends about the Halloween Party.

It was brought to my attention that we had squashed their party and they weren't even initially told, they found out through a 3rd party. Okay, shitty. AND I felt about this small .

Now they immediately said, they knew it wasn't my intention and I probably had no idea and by the look on my face they knew they were right. We talked it out and I apologized like a 100 times. I mean one of them really had their feelings hurt and I felt HORRIBLE about that.

I was trying to believe that there was some kind of miscommunication. After discussing it with Alix, we both thought it best, I shelf it for the night and think of a constructive way to handle this since a board meeting was the next night. GREAT ADVICE! I woke up feeling like it was time to handle my business and going to the gym before the meeting really helped me get my energy focused in a positive way. I decided that smaller was better and when I brought it up another person also had the same problem I did... what happened to the other party? After some great discussion and clearing up of A LOT of unanswered questions, it just wasn't voiced down to the right people in the right manner. So now that was cleared up but I wanted it more. *shocker, wiggles fingers* I asked, "is it possible to combine the two?" There was no resistance, no looks of horror. I explained that I would love to have a united front and combine crowds that might not normally do so. I'd like this to happen more often and I think this being such a "fun" event that this would be a great place to start. The idea was embraced and I was given reins to be the liaison between the 2. *all smiles* Part 1... DONE.

Part 2
Now I needed to contact my friends and see if they were honestly okay with the 2 combining. I called and explained EVERYTHING that had happened. My new intentions and what they thought. We discussed it and they were quite happy (well from what I could tell) and are looking forward to working together. I am also going to MCC's board meeting next week to present my ideas and start working with them on this. I was commended on my handling of situation and feel really good about how it turned out. *HUGE SMILES*

Now begin the plans, budgeting and making sure both parties stay happy and well communicated. Lots of notes and emails but I'm ready for it. This is what I do :)

So the lesson and advice here is: If you have a problem with someone/something or don't understand things that are going on, don't ask others "around" them, just go directly to the source and ask. You're going to get an honest answer and there is no guess work involved. The worst that happens is you find out the truth and there is nothing wrong with that.