Today Does Not Exist
I have a very close family now, nothing like I've ever experienced before. It consists of a Denise, a Jenn, a Courtney and a Patty. These girls mean a lot to me and I'd throw myself in front of a wild animal for any one of them. We all have our times in life when we go through things. Each of us has a fairly high spirtual belief in the universe and things that just can't be explained. So today, February 29th hits me in a different way and I think it does for them as well.
I had a rough day, without going into too many details, it's a Friday and it's 4:30pm and I head home with a few tears crawling down my face. I was very much looking forward to just going home and falling a sleep. I was worn down, torn down and just done. I had the option to go play games but I just didn't have the mind set for it. I was sad because I did want to go but I wasn't feelin' it and knew I should just go home for now. I fell a sleep for a little while and woke up to a Patty asking if I wanted to come over for Pizza. The idea of going to Pattys and sitting around the table sharing stories like we all do so well sounded nice. So I got up took a shower and did feel a little better.
Without spilling too much of everyone elses crappy day, it was interesting that we all had such a "weird" day. I walked outside to talk to Alix and I could see inside Patty's house. Courtney had this sad/distressed look on her face, Patty was being Patty-like and making us a wonderful dinner all the while hustling through the kitchen, Denise was sitting in a chair using the web we all love so much as a distraction and Jenn, well Jenn was being Jenn :) We must look like quite the group of misfits at times but we all bring something important to the table and standing outside looking in, I could really see that. It brought this really warming feeling over me and I just had to smile.
So standing there I decided that Today Does Not Exist. This is a fun concept if you give it a chance. If you had a great day of completing tasks/work or anything else, it was basically a free day and it's almost like Gnomes came and did the work for you. If you had a bad/horrible/off day then when you wake up tomorrow, it didn't exist and all is washed even. Either way you come out with a positive feeling.
I was just ready for the feelings of the day to be gone. I think some others were as well. Darla and Vanessa showed up a bit after that, Patty got called out to work and we all sat around the table eating pizza and just enjoying one anothers company. I loved it (well minus the fact that Patty had to leave).
Thanks girls... I love you and I'll miss you.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
8 year olds and pitching lessons
I have been VERY competitive in sports more of my life than not. I don't like to lose and I hate not being the best at something. It's my secret and I work at not letting my "temper" get the best of me. I put that in quotes mainly because I've worked very hard to not be THAT girl anymore. I'm pretty much low-key and mellow now and my body loves me so much for that :)
So today I will be going to a 10 and under softball game to help out a pitcher who is 8 years old. This is very common. Being bred for softball in Bakersfield isn't new. I run across people looking for private lessons more often then you might think. As I do not coach high school ball anymore, my 14 hour days have ceased and I can enjoy the sport a little more. I miss it terribly, don't get me wrong but it doesn't consume my life for 6 months either. Okay, who are we kidding, it was more like 10 months. It would have been 12 but cold and rain does slow us down. Anyway, I've seen some of these parents with their girls and it still amazes. More than ever they are teaching that "must be the best" attitude and it's going younger and younger. Sometimes I think the parents want the bragging rights that their child is the most talented more than anything.
I enjoy helping though, it's fun and it keeps me close to softball which is a love I will never lose. Something about walking out on to a freshly chalked field and an untouched mound that gives me the shivers every time. I have a love for the sport... I wonder how you teach that??? I think some of my players got it over the time I had them but how does one completely inspire for the love of the game? I kinda like not knowing and just doing what I do best, teach the game I grew up with and love so much. Not everything has to have an answer, some of the most miraculous things are those left unanswered.
Play ball... *smiles*
I have been VERY competitive in sports more of my life than not. I don't like to lose and I hate not being the best at something. It's my secret and I work at not letting my "temper" get the best of me. I put that in quotes mainly because I've worked very hard to not be THAT girl anymore. I'm pretty much low-key and mellow now and my body loves me so much for that :)
So today I will be going to a 10 and under softball game to help out a pitcher who is 8 years old. This is very common. Being bred for softball in Bakersfield isn't new. I run across people looking for private lessons more often then you might think. As I do not coach high school ball anymore, my 14 hour days have ceased and I can enjoy the sport a little more. I miss it terribly, don't get me wrong but it doesn't consume my life for 6 months either. Okay, who are we kidding, it was more like 10 months. It would have been 12 but cold and rain does slow us down. Anyway, I've seen some of these parents with their girls and it still amazes. More than ever they are teaching that "must be the best" attitude and it's going younger and younger. Sometimes I think the parents want the bragging rights that their child is the most talented more than anything.
I enjoy helping though, it's fun and it keeps me close to softball which is a love I will never lose. Something about walking out on to a freshly chalked field and an untouched mound that gives me the shivers every time. I have a love for the sport... I wonder how you teach that??? I think some of my players got it over the time I had them but how does one completely inspire for the love of the game? I kinda like not knowing and just doing what I do best, teach the game I grew up with and love so much. Not everything has to have an answer, some of the most miraculous things are those left unanswered.
Play ball... *smiles*
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
That one moment...
There are things we do in life that sometimes make us sit back and really see ourselves in the center looking around at the 360 deg moment that is starring at us right then. Not sure what I'm talking about? If you've had them, you know and you'll also understand that words can't truly describe how this moment overtakes your mind/body/soul. I will try my best though to convey the one I have when I fly to Boston, my last one will overcome me next week and I'm perfectly okay with that...
I typically take a Red Eye flight to see her. The plan is that I will sleep on that flight so I'm not so shell shocked when I get into Boston. Unfortunately, that NEVER happens. While everyone is snoring around me, I'm sitting there tapping my foot. I try, I really do but I'm too damn excited. The first time was the worst, I fell a sleep and when I woke up and looked at the time, it had been 20 minutes. Wow... only 5 hours and 20 minutes to go... shit damn. The one flight where I tried a sleepy agent put me to sleep for 45 minutes *smacks head* so you see I'm like that kid that wants to run up and down the isle of the plane basically.
The upside of being awake? Yes there is one. We cross a few times zones on this flight and when 3:00am our time hits, it's 6:00am there and basically its sunrise time on the Atlantic. So the transfer of dark to light is very quick and to watch the sunrise on the clouds is pretty damn amazing. It's a magical hour for me really, the day is starting a new and I will be in her arms shortly. There's that moment while I'm sitting there looking out the window and watching each little ray of sunshine shoot out amongst the sky. Almost like it's shining through me and warming me all a glow inside. I get that smile on my face and my heart goes a flutter. Twitterpated, it's a wondrous thing.
It's always about the little moments. I love them so.
You can't set these moments up, they just happen. Oddly enough, you're typically alone at the time they do happen. I don't think everyone can experience them because they are too busy getting through life instead of enjoying it. Drinking it away or killing time till the next weekend...
There are things we do in life that sometimes make us sit back and really see ourselves in the center looking around at the 360 deg moment that is starring at us right then. Not sure what I'm talking about? If you've had them, you know and you'll also understand that words can't truly describe how this moment overtakes your mind/body/soul. I will try my best though to convey the one I have when I fly to Boston, my last one will overcome me next week and I'm perfectly okay with that...
I typically take a Red Eye flight to see her. The plan is that I will sleep on that flight so I'm not so shell shocked when I get into Boston. Unfortunately, that NEVER happens. While everyone is snoring around me, I'm sitting there tapping my foot. I try, I really do but I'm too damn excited. The first time was the worst, I fell a sleep and when I woke up and looked at the time, it had been 20 minutes. Wow... only 5 hours and 20 minutes to go... shit damn. The one flight where I tried a sleepy agent put me to sleep for 45 minutes *smacks head* so you see I'm like that kid that wants to run up and down the isle of the plane basically.
The upside of being awake? Yes there is one. We cross a few times zones on this flight and when 3:00am our time hits, it's 6:00am there and basically its sunrise time on the Atlantic. So the transfer of dark to light is very quick and to watch the sunrise on the clouds is pretty damn amazing. It's a magical hour for me really, the day is starting a new and I will be in her arms shortly. There's that moment while I'm sitting there looking out the window and watching each little ray of sunshine shoot out amongst the sky. Almost like it's shining through me and warming me all a glow inside. I get that smile on my face and my heart goes a flutter. Twitterpated, it's a wondrous thing.
It's always about the little moments. I love them so.
You can't set these moments up, they just happen. Oddly enough, you're typically alone at the time they do happen. I don't think everyone can experience them because they are too busy getting through life instead of enjoying it. Drinking it away or killing time till the next weekend...
$1.00
So last night I went to the dollar store to get some hangers because apparently we have a SHIT TON of clothes! I'm on a tight tight budget but I don't mind because it means she'll be here and we'll figure it out. So anyway, I was looking for something to put on my door for St. Patty's Day. They had some clover garland so I decided to spend the dollar and get it.
I smiled the entire time I put it around my door. It's really a wonderous thing how a dollar can do so much for your heart. :)
So last night I went to the dollar store to get some hangers because apparently we have a SHIT TON of clothes! I'm on a tight tight budget but I don't mind because it means she'll be here and we'll figure it out. So anyway, I was looking for something to put on my door for St. Patty's Day. They had some clover garland so I decided to spend the dollar and get it.
I smiled the entire time I put it around my door. It's really a wonderous thing how a dollar can do so much for your heart. :)
Monday, February 25, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Why do we...?
So I was heating up my lunch yesterday and I wanted to put ketchup and mustard on my bread to make orange bread for my hamburger. I knew I had ketchup and thought I had remembered seeing mustard in the fridge at work. So I went to pick up the mustard... it had expired... in July... of 2003!
Okay gross. Here's the funny part, what did I do with the mustard after seeing it's almost 5 years expired? I put it back in the fridge! I've seen plenty of people do this. I've done it. Do we think it might be okay the next time? Is it too hard to throw in the trash? *laughs hysterically* Who knows but I thought that was funny. I did end up throwing it away by the way.
So I was heating up my lunch yesterday and I wanted to put ketchup and mustard on my bread to make orange bread for my hamburger. I knew I had ketchup and thought I had remembered seeing mustard in the fridge at work. So I went to pick up the mustard... it had expired... in July... of 2003!
Okay gross. Here's the funny part, what did I do with the mustard after seeing it's almost 5 years expired? I put it back in the fridge! I've seen plenty of people do this. I've done it. Do we think it might be okay the next time? Is it too hard to throw in the trash? *laughs hysterically* Who knows but I thought that was funny. I did end up throwing it away by the way.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Sink of Dishes
So each night I put something or things away and get that much closer to being organized and clean. Two of my favorite things. The kitchen was the first room I put together (shocker) and continually fill the counters up to put other things away. It's quite a cycle but it's working. I hadn't really thought I was getting very far until Denise & Jen came over and said I had done a lot. I spent most of last night grouping stuff together so it wouldn't be so out of place. I hung up some more clothes, threw out some more trash and made sure my lunch was packed for the day.
Monday night I made my dinner and cleaned. I had yet to do dishes and decided that I should do them each night before I go to bed. I happily stood there on my new kitchen mat and washed each dish by hand, stratigically stacking them in the little rack in the sink. I wiped down the counters and cleaned the stove. I smiled while I washed each dish. Now I know this won't last forever but like everything else I'm experiencing, I'm appreciating everything in a whole new way.
I've always loved/appreciated everything in my life but it's different this time. I'm thankful for where I've been and what I've had and where I'm going now.
So each night I put something or things away and get that much closer to being organized and clean. Two of my favorite things. The kitchen was the first room I put together (shocker) and continually fill the counters up to put other things away. It's quite a cycle but it's working. I hadn't really thought I was getting very far until Denise & Jen came over and said I had done a lot. I spent most of last night grouping stuff together so it wouldn't be so out of place. I hung up some more clothes, threw out some more trash and made sure my lunch was packed for the day.
Monday night I made my dinner and cleaned. I had yet to do dishes and decided that I should do them each night before I go to bed. I happily stood there on my new kitchen mat and washed each dish by hand, stratigically stacking them in the little rack in the sink. I wiped down the counters and cleaned the stove. I smiled while I washed each dish. Now I know this won't last forever but like everything else I'm experiencing, I'm appreciating everything in a whole new way.
I've always loved/appreciated everything in my life but it's different this time. I'm thankful for where I've been and what I've had and where I'm going now.
Monday, February 18, 2008
*Phew* It's Monday already?
What a crazy/wonderful/tiring/loving/magical/funtagiously awesomest great time. The past 4 days have been great for so many reasons. My mom and I got closer last Wednesday, her curiousity got the best of her and now she is quite happy that Alix and I are so happy together. Valentines/Moving day was great.
Jenn & Denise came over and did this most fantastic blessing/ritual through our house. Jenn was very thorough and I could really feel the blessing. I watched them go over our home, protecting us and putting all of their love into it. I walked down at one point to get my family and I was standing there shaking a little. I could completly feel it. It made me all smiley inside and when I walked back in, I got the exact same feeling. Every time I walk in, I can feel it and I love it. It really does feel like a home. Everyone got everything moved in a few short hours, it was awesome. The washer/dryer were a bit of a challenge but overall it went well. My dad offered to buy the first groceries which was awesome cause money will be tight for awhile but you can't exchange the happiness I feel for some green paper. We got home at 11:ish pm from the store and my parents were wiped out. I sent them on their way and happily put all our groceries away. I had a lot to do before I left for the airport. Her flight got in at 1:10pm. I put the groceries away, moved some boxes to make a path, took a shower and next thing I knew it was 12:20 and I needed to GO! I left for the office to pick up some stuff, got back into my car and she was in at 12:39pm! WTH! How is she 30 minutes early! So I hauled ass and pulled up about 2 mintues after she got her luggage, so at least she didn't have to wait long. Sorry baby :)
We got home and she looked around our home. She liked it :) YAY! I figured she would but sometimes you just have to worry. Poor little sickly kitten though, she was tired and I was beat so we called it a night and hopped into our bed for our 1st night in our apartment :)
Friday we had to get up kinda early cause she had an appt. with a temp agency. I was a zombie, a very sore zombie. I went back home, waited for our new stove to be installed and then went to get her breakfast and a sonic and pick her up. I was beat tired but we had lots to do. We came back, changed and headed out to get A LOT of stuff we needed for the homestead. I had quite a migraine building so we went home and I took a nap so we could head to the Valentines Dance at 6:00pm
She looked so adorable. Still sickly, she was quite the trooper and I really appreciated it. The dance was at the Holiday Inn downtown and it was very nicely done. It was just big enough but not so big that you couldn't find a person if you thought you had lost them. The food was pretty yummy and the night went over fairly well. We had our picture taken and I already made a shadow box frame out of it. We went home got some meds and curled up together.
Saturday morning that alarm went off too early again. We had to get to IKEA though because we needed a couch. After some super yummy Jack Daniels chicken in Valencia and a lot of traffic we made it to IKEA.... lots of hours later and ANOTHER migraine and we were on our way back home with a couch and a lot of other fun stuff for the home :) Dinner with the family was cancelled, so that was nice because we were beat down. I was drained from Migraines from the past 2 days. We cuddled on the couch, ate some food and watched TV. That was one of the best nights ever.
Sunday came way too quickly and once again we were rushing to the airport at 11:30am. This time though, I was ready to kick her on the plane (well not really, never really) because when I see her in 15 days it's because I'm in Boston to pick her up and we head on our drive to CA. These 7 months have gone FAST. It didn't seem like it at the time but since we started these flights every 2 weeks to get her situated, it's been flying. She has no more free weekends and I'm spending all my time getting everything settled so we can fill the house back up when we pull in.
So many wonderful things that were, are and will be. I love my time with her. No matter where it is. No more hotels, no more airports, well except to Bora Bora *winks*, no more watching the clock, no more countdowns till I see that smiling face because each night, she'll be here. Right where she belongs.
What a crazy/wonderful/tiring/loving/magical/funtagiously awesomest great time. The past 4 days have been great for so many reasons. My mom and I got closer last Wednesday, her curiousity got the best of her and now she is quite happy that Alix and I are so happy together. Valentines/Moving day was great.
Jenn & Denise came over and did this most fantastic blessing/ritual through our house. Jenn was very thorough and I could really feel the blessing. I watched them go over our home, protecting us and putting all of their love into it. I walked down at one point to get my family and I was standing there shaking a little. I could completly feel it. It made me all smiley inside and when I walked back in, I got the exact same feeling. Every time I walk in, I can feel it and I love it. It really does feel like a home. Everyone got everything moved in a few short hours, it was awesome. The washer/dryer were a bit of a challenge but overall it went well. My dad offered to buy the first groceries which was awesome cause money will be tight for awhile but you can't exchange the happiness I feel for some green paper. We got home at 11:ish pm from the store and my parents were wiped out. I sent them on their way and happily put all our groceries away. I had a lot to do before I left for the airport. Her flight got in at 1:10pm. I put the groceries away, moved some boxes to make a path, took a shower and next thing I knew it was 12:20 and I needed to GO! I left for the office to pick up some stuff, got back into my car and she was in at 12:39pm! WTH! How is she 30 minutes early! So I hauled ass and pulled up about 2 mintues after she got her luggage, so at least she didn't have to wait long. Sorry baby :)
We got home and she looked around our home. She liked it :) YAY! I figured she would but sometimes you just have to worry. Poor little sickly kitten though, she was tired and I was beat so we called it a night and hopped into our bed for our 1st night in our apartment :)
Friday we had to get up kinda early cause she had an appt. with a temp agency. I was a zombie, a very sore zombie. I went back home, waited for our new stove to be installed and then went to get her breakfast and a sonic and pick her up. I was beat tired but we had lots to do. We came back, changed and headed out to get A LOT of stuff we needed for the homestead. I had quite a migraine building so we went home and I took a nap so we could head to the Valentines Dance at 6:00pm
She looked so adorable. Still sickly, she was quite the trooper and I really appreciated it. The dance was at the Holiday Inn downtown and it was very nicely done. It was just big enough but not so big that you couldn't find a person if you thought you had lost them. The food was pretty yummy and the night went over fairly well. We had our picture taken and I already made a shadow box frame out of it. We went home got some meds and curled up together.
Saturday morning that alarm went off too early again. We had to get to IKEA though because we needed a couch. After some super yummy Jack Daniels chicken in Valencia and a lot of traffic we made it to IKEA.... lots of hours later and ANOTHER migraine and we were on our way back home with a couch and a lot of other fun stuff for the home :) Dinner with the family was cancelled, so that was nice because we were beat down. I was drained from Migraines from the past 2 days. We cuddled on the couch, ate some food and watched TV. That was one of the best nights ever.
Sunday came way too quickly and once again we were rushing to the airport at 11:30am. This time though, I was ready to kick her on the plane (well not really, never really) because when I see her in 15 days it's because I'm in Boston to pick her up and we head on our drive to CA. These 7 months have gone FAST. It didn't seem like it at the time but since we started these flights every 2 weeks to get her situated, it's been flying. She has no more free weekends and I'm spending all my time getting everything settled so we can fill the house back up when we pull in.
So many wonderful things that were, are and will be. I love my time with her. No matter where it is. No more hotels, no more airports, well except to Bora Bora *winks*, no more watching the clock, no more countdowns till I see that smiling face because each night, she'll be here. Right where she belongs.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Petty Picky Pessimistic People... PISS ME OFF!
Alright this one is ranty because I've had nothing but wonderful days for the past ??? (so many I've lost track). I'm going to write this out and then it will be done, no dwelling, no festering, just letting go in the nice afternoon breeze.
Petty People. Don't they realize they are the root of their own disgust? Because they choose to be so damn negative and controlling, they are truly responsible for their pettiness.
Picky People. How can you be soooo damn picky? So much in fact that people don't want to be around you anymore. You can't pick up on it though because you are so self involved that you can't even realize it... *shakes head* It's sad really.
Pessimistic People. If you're going to live this life seeing that glass constantly half empty and annoyed with anyone who doesn't do things EXACTLY as you do, then I probably don't want you within my energy anyway.
My advice is this; stop being so selfish and acting like a baby who throws a temper tantrum when she doesn't like the way things are going. Learn how to work with people instead of against them. You are in for a long, tough life otherwise and for that, I keep positive thoughts that one day you may wake up and realize, there are things much more horrible in the world and what you find "horrible" is equal to a -423 on the gauge of horribleness.
All done... now I go pack :) YAY!
Wednesday
HOLY SHIT.
The End.
Just kidding but for real for real. All of the sudden I have "oh" so much to do! Today I get my hairs cut (especially since last night I was told I look like a hippy). Then I have to come back to storage and tag all my stuff to be moved out to the apartment. Then I get to go home and pack up my car and move anything else that's left into the garage. Then I have to attempt to sleep! Tomorrow is work/girl flies in/moving/Valentines Day! I'm SO EXCITED I COULD SPIT SUNSHINE!
Alright back to work I go... later!
HOLY SHIT.
The End.
Just kidding but for real for real. All of the sudden I have "oh" so much to do! Today I get my hairs cut (especially since last night I was told I look like a hippy). Then I have to come back to storage and tag all my stuff to be moved out to the apartment. Then I get to go home and pack up my car and move anything else that's left into the garage. Then I have to attempt to sleep! Tomorrow is work/girl flies in/moving/Valentines Day! I'm SO EXCITED I COULD SPIT SUNSHINE!
Alright back to work I go... later!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Where to go from here...
So many things coming up. I've basically finished packing. I have set my appointment to pick up the keys to our apartment on Thursday at noon. I have ******* ****** can't exactly say because a certain little girl will read this but I'm getting set up for her arrival on Thursday as well. My friend Jenn has agreed to come by and do a home blessing with Sage to cleanse it for us and I'm super excited about that. Each day brings me closer and closer and I'm feeling pretty darn good about it.
I feel like I can expand my artist side even more. I know my mind is becoming more at ease because I want to learn new things. There is a Faery Fundraiser coming up and I want to work on some pieces for that as well. There is also a SPCA type show coming up and hopefully I'll have a new kittenkid soon that I can photograph for that :) There is also a Garbage Blanc (White Trash) show coming up and I'm trying to figure out something to do for that because it sounds like fun.
The first thing I'll probably move into the apartment will be the drafting table Jenn gave me :)
So many things coming up. I've basically finished packing. I have set my appointment to pick up the keys to our apartment on Thursday at noon. I have ******* ****** can't exactly say because a certain little girl will read this but I'm getting set up for her arrival on Thursday as well. My friend Jenn has agreed to come by and do a home blessing with Sage to cleanse it for us and I'm super excited about that. Each day brings me closer and closer and I'm feeling pretty darn good about it.
I feel like I can expand my artist side even more. I know my mind is becoming more at ease because I want to learn new things. There is a Faery Fundraiser coming up and I want to work on some pieces for that as well. There is also a SPCA type show coming up and hopefully I'll have a new kittenkid soon that I can photograph for that :) There is also a Garbage Blanc (White Trash) show coming up and I'm trying to figure out something to do for that because it sounds like fun.
The first thing I'll probably move into the apartment will be the drafting table Jenn gave me :)
Thursday, February 07, 2008
3:35pm
So everyday about this time it's basically time to wrap up at work. This involves printing off the machines, typing up any last reports that may need to go out before I walk my butt through that door, emailing or faxing, billing something, feeding my yard kittenkids, cleaning up my desk(s) (yes I have multiple), laying out samples for the next day and a few other whosey-ma-whats-its. My world begins to shut down and my time with Alix on the phone begins. As darkeness falls each night, something new is happening, an overall feeling of satisfaction. Our life is setting itself to begin very soon. Before it was months out and seemed like forever and a day away. Now... well now it's basically a day away. Each day brings us quite closer, we have so many mini countdowns, the time literally is flying by. I smile every morning and pop out of bed because at the dusk of "this" day, I am one more day closer to her and THAT is always a most wonderful feeling.
Lately, more and more people have been commenting on how hard it must be to have the one you love so far away. And as much as I agree, this time has taught me many things. I have learned to walk on my feet again, find some really interesting stuff out about myself, I've made some new incredibly awesome friends and have put myself in a position to have her easily walk into our life. Here are some things to look forward with us:
February 14th - We get our apartment; She flies in for the weekend
February 17th - She takes her last business trip to Boston
February 27th - My birthday that I keep forgetting about
March 5th - I head to Burbank for my last flight to Boston for awhile...
March 7th - We head to CT to stay with her parents and possibly NY on the 8th
March 9th - We head toward Spin in DC, then to Kristin in OK
and from there we'll end up back in CA around the 12th???
Weather will play a huge roll in our drive across the U.S. I'll do most of my blogging from my phone. Should be pretty cool. Things may change a bit but we're really looking forward to all of it.
I'm having one of those centered days today and it feels great... just thought I would share.
So everyday about this time it's basically time to wrap up at work. This involves printing off the machines, typing up any last reports that may need to go out before I walk my butt through that door, emailing or faxing, billing something, feeding my yard kittenkids, cleaning up my desk(s) (yes I have multiple), laying out samples for the next day and a few other whosey-ma-whats-its. My world begins to shut down and my time with Alix on the phone begins. As darkeness falls each night, something new is happening, an overall feeling of satisfaction. Our life is setting itself to begin very soon. Before it was months out and seemed like forever and a day away. Now... well now it's basically a day away. Each day brings us quite closer, we have so many mini countdowns, the time literally is flying by. I smile every morning and pop out of bed because at the dusk of "this" day, I am one more day closer to her and THAT is always a most wonderful feeling.
Lately, more and more people have been commenting on how hard it must be to have the one you love so far away. And as much as I agree, this time has taught me many things. I have learned to walk on my feet again, find some really interesting stuff out about myself, I've made some new incredibly awesome friends and have put myself in a position to have her easily walk into our life. Here are some things to look forward with us:
February 14th - We get our apartment; She flies in for the weekend
February 17th - She takes her last business trip to Boston
February 27th - My birthday that I keep forgetting about
March 5th - I head to Burbank for my last flight to Boston for awhile...
March 7th - We head to CT to stay with her parents and possibly NY on the 8th
March 9th - We head toward Spin in DC, then to Kristin in OK
and from there we'll end up back in CA around the 12th???
Weather will play a huge roll in our drive across the U.S. I'll do most of my blogging from my phone. Should be pretty cool. Things may change a bit but we're really looking forward to all of it.
I'm having one of those centered days today and it feels great... just thought I would share.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
Pouty Face & Balance
Okay, so this morning Alix left to go back to Boston for another business trip. She will be back in 10 days. Next Thursday, Valentines Day, she will be back here and we will be in our apartment. Oh yeah, you read that right OUR apartment. Which just reminded me to call the cable company and PG&E... okay, we will have cable next week between 3-5pm and PG&E is in my name, ta-da!
I'm trying to be all positive and crap but today, today I will be sad and that will be okay. Tomorrow I will get out of the "grey" and into the color and be in a much better mood. I'm allowed to miss her, how could I not? She's so wonderful and here is an interesting ephiphany I had driving home Friday night from San Francisco...
I've spent a better part of the past couple of years searching for something, something that was important to me; Balance. It is hard to achieve and nearly impossible to maintain but the idea of such a thing in life makes me strive that much harder for it. I love those days when I feel completely centered and there are more of them now then ever (okay shut up, I know today doesn't count). Anyway, we were driving back to Bakersfield and talking about our astrological symbols and some designs to do at Color Me Mine. Now my symbol is tattooed on the back of my neck, not the Fishie one but the H looking one. And I know her celtic symbol but I never thought about her True symbol. Here is where the "funny" part comes in, her symbol is the Scales. Her sign is the suppose to be the most balanced of all the symbols.
So in my search for Balance... I find a Libra... *nods* Yep Yep... interesting how the universe does that kind of stuff.
Okay, so this morning Alix left to go back to Boston for another business trip. She will be back in 10 days. Next Thursday, Valentines Day, she will be back here and we will be in our apartment. Oh yeah, you read that right OUR apartment. Which just reminded me to call the cable company and PG&E... okay, we will have cable next week between 3-5pm and PG&E is in my name, ta-da!
I'm trying to be all positive and crap but today, today I will be sad and that will be okay. Tomorrow I will get out of the "grey" and into the color and be in a much better mood. I'm allowed to miss her, how could I not? She's so wonderful and here is an interesting ephiphany I had driving home Friday night from San Francisco...
I've spent a better part of the past couple of years searching for something, something that was important to me; Balance. It is hard to achieve and nearly impossible to maintain but the idea of such a thing in life makes me strive that much harder for it. I love those days when I feel completely centered and there are more of them now then ever (okay shut up, I know today doesn't count). Anyway, we were driving back to Bakersfield and talking about our astrological symbols and some designs to do at Color Me Mine. Now my symbol is tattooed on the back of my neck, not the Fishie one but the H looking one. And I know her celtic symbol but I never thought about her True symbol. Here is where the "funny" part comes in, her symbol is the Scales. Her sign is the suppose to be the most balanced of all the symbols.
So in my search for Balance... I find a Libra... *nods* Yep Yep... interesting how the universe does that kind of stuff.
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