Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Our Story…
One night as the stars looked down upon the land they noticed two of their dreamers were unhappy. So much in fact they had almost completely lost their inner glow. They were so dim, in fact, the stars were alarmed at how they had almost overlooked them once more. As they gathered together and discussed who had been watching them, sadly, the two had just slipped through the stars' eyes night after night. Worried they had lost the two for good, the Old Wise Moon gathered them up and as he spoke the stars looked up to him in great awe.
"You see little stars, sometimes when you have the constant dreamers from such a young age, you may take for granted their souls will always shine bright to easily watch from above. Now as you have seen their natural glow and love for life can attract someone who may not quite be the right match for them but is intrigued at their ability to believe in things greater than can be explained by science and logic. They try to make everyone around them as happy as they are but sometimes it just doesn't work out. As they do not like to fail, they stay where they are and hope for the best. Unfortunately, the hope becomes dimmer and dimmer as does their own inner glow. They never notice it, constantly trying to fix the wrongs and holding up two people can be very difficult for one little empty soul. Be glad you noticed their last little bit of hope. There is always time for a change. I must insist each of you spread amongst them, of course watching others as well, but take special care for these two. Their wishes have not been selfish and it is time they ask for something for themselves. Let us hope they catch the falling stars we send in their paths."
The stars did as they were told with great speed and very much care. While one has only known the blue waters of the Pacific, she took this night to walk outside and look up. Smiling for all the stars in her view twinkled in delight and shimmered in her heart. Small warmth near her heart grew and grew…
…along the East Coast, a girl threw her hands up for the last time. She walked out on to her deck and leaned against the railing. She wanted something more but felt so stuck she had no idea what to do. Something pulled her head toward the sky. Living in the city she couldn't always take advantage of the stars but tonight was different. She smiled at them like they could smile back, she forgot how much she enjoyed the night sky. She felt a little better inside, something felt right about being out here and she too, could feel warmth near her heart.
The stars, thankful for the luck of the night, took the opportunity to send the last little push each of them needed. Two very special stars took it upon themselves to shoot across the night and sacrifice life in the sky to turn into their destiny… a wish.
With the most eerie mirrored affect, each star took off with all their fierce and might to burn so very bright and at that very moment both girls took a deep breath, closed their eyes and made a wish…
One night as the stars looked down upon the land they noticed two of their dreamers were unhappy. So much in fact they had almost completely lost their inner glow. They were so dim, in fact, the stars were alarmed at how they had almost overlooked them once more. As they gathered together and discussed who had been watching them, sadly, the two had just slipped through the stars' eyes night after night. Worried they had lost the two for good, the Old Wise Moon gathered them up and as he spoke the stars looked up to him in great awe.
"You see little stars, sometimes when you have the constant dreamers from such a young age, you may take for granted their souls will always shine bright to easily watch from above. Now as you have seen their natural glow and love for life can attract someone who may not quite be the right match for them but is intrigued at their ability to believe in things greater than can be explained by science and logic. They try to make everyone around them as happy as they are but sometimes it just doesn't work out. As they do not like to fail, they stay where they are and hope for the best. Unfortunately, the hope becomes dimmer and dimmer as does their own inner glow. They never notice it, constantly trying to fix the wrongs and holding up two people can be very difficult for one little empty soul. Be glad you noticed their last little bit of hope. There is always time for a change. I must insist each of you spread amongst them, of course watching others as well, but take special care for these two. Their wishes have not been selfish and it is time they ask for something for themselves. Let us hope they catch the falling stars we send in their paths."
The stars did as they were told with great speed and very much care. While one has only known the blue waters of the Pacific, she took this night to walk outside and look up. Smiling for all the stars in her view twinkled in delight and shimmered in her heart. Small warmth near her heart grew and grew…
…along the East Coast, a girl threw her hands up for the last time. She walked out on to her deck and leaned against the railing. She wanted something more but felt so stuck she had no idea what to do. Something pulled her head toward the sky. Living in the city she couldn't always take advantage of the stars but tonight was different. She smiled at them like they could smile back, she forgot how much she enjoyed the night sky. She felt a little better inside, something felt right about being out here and she too, could feel warmth near her heart.
The stars, thankful for the luck of the night, took the opportunity to send the last little push each of them needed. Two very special stars took it upon themselves to shoot across the night and sacrifice life in the sky to turn into their destiny… a wish.
With the most eerie mirrored affect, each star took off with all their fierce and might to burn so very bright and at that very moment both girls took a deep breath, closed their eyes and made a wish…
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
4:00am, Texas Hold 'Em, Fried Chocolate Wontons & New Friends
Friday night I spent the better part of the evening helping to set up for a Yard Sale Fundraiser for the Bakersfield LGBTQ. Wow that was a lot of stuff but kinda hard to really set up for a yard sale till the day of, so we did what we could and headed home around 9:00pm.
Enter 4:00am on my clock. Now mind you, I have seen that time on my clock many a time in the past couple of months. We typically like to go to bed around 6:00am so 4 is about a drink break or something... but to get up at this time? That's a whole other kinda can of worms. I pried myself out of bed, got into all my comfy Boston gear (afterall they had a nice win the previous night) and headed to grab donuts for the gang. I got there about 5:15ish. Zombie like I started moving stuff around and getting things into workable areas. Around 6 we had a few guys looking at things... but for the most part it was scarce. We had weird rushes throughout the day but overall we made some great money and had fun. I walked around snapping pics of the house and yard for the Halloween party. I have lots of ideas but I figured it would be easier to have reminders in front of me. Jenn and I are suppose to meet at some point to work stuff out.
I got home about 2:00pm, took a shower, got comfy in bed and decided a nap was in order. I hadn't heard from my friends, so I didn't know if Texas Hold 'Em was in the cards for the night (yes bad pun intended). About 5 I got a txt asking if I was still meeting them for dinner and to hang out. I crawled out of bed, got ready and headed out the door to Casa Munoz, mmm Mexican Food. We had a good dinner and I showed Jenn some of the pics I took of the house. We went by the store to get some drinks and snacks and off we went to Patty's house.
What an adorable little house. Imagine if you will (just do it) walking into a cottage type house with wooden floors, candles perfectly placed and lit, music playing in the background and 2 of the cutest girls cooking together in the kitchen. I was introduced to Courtney and Patty. Patty was making fried chocolate wontons and Courtney was putting powder sugar on them... all I can say is mmmmmmmmm. I enjoyed quite a few of those that night.
So I also met Kat & Alisa and Mel & Rhonda. We all settled into introductions, thank goodness there is never a test after meeting 6 new people. Everyone grabbed food, drinks and headed to the table. As some people had never played before, there was a short explanation of how it was played, blinds and betting. As I "helped" with some of the terms, I was labeled a card shark. Which is very comical since I am far from being a person who likes to gamble. I have dealt the game many a time (hence the reason I know it) I've watched it for countless hours and do enjoy the aspects of it but for me to actually play, not so much. However, on this night, it sounded like a lot of fun and I'm all about having fun.
I won the first game and then it was on... Patty had her eye on me lmao So we played for awhile and they have a fun house rule that if someone says something really funny you can tip them a Nickel. I got tipped a quarter once, sorry Denise for flicking you in the cheek but you were being mean! *giggles* Around 10ish the other 4 left and we stayed to play more, ordered pizza around 11 and spent a very good time just getting to know one another. Patty and Courtney are simply wonderful people and I'm glad I was lucky enough to meet them. I look forward to more nights hanging out.
Finally, around 1:00am we decided to call it a night. So much FUN! I headed home with one of those really good fuzzy feelings inside :)
Friday night I spent the better part of the evening helping to set up for a Yard Sale Fundraiser for the Bakersfield LGBTQ. Wow that was a lot of stuff but kinda hard to really set up for a yard sale till the day of, so we did what we could and headed home around 9:00pm.
Enter 4:00am on my clock. Now mind you, I have seen that time on my clock many a time in the past couple of months. We typically like to go to bed around 6:00am so 4 is about a drink break or something... but to get up at this time? That's a whole other kinda can of worms. I pried myself out of bed, got into all my comfy Boston gear (afterall they had a nice win the previous night) and headed to grab donuts for the gang. I got there about 5:15ish. Zombie like I started moving stuff around and getting things into workable areas. Around 6 we had a few guys looking at things... but for the most part it was scarce. We had weird rushes throughout the day but overall we made some great money and had fun. I walked around snapping pics of the house and yard for the Halloween party. I have lots of ideas but I figured it would be easier to have reminders in front of me. Jenn and I are suppose to meet at some point to work stuff out.
I got home about 2:00pm, took a shower, got comfy in bed and decided a nap was in order. I hadn't heard from my friends, so I didn't know if Texas Hold 'Em was in the cards for the night (yes bad pun intended). About 5 I got a txt asking if I was still meeting them for dinner and to hang out. I crawled out of bed, got ready and headed out the door to Casa Munoz, mmm Mexican Food. We had a good dinner and I showed Jenn some of the pics I took of the house. We went by the store to get some drinks and snacks and off we went to Patty's house.
What an adorable little house. Imagine if you will (just do it) walking into a cottage type house with wooden floors, candles perfectly placed and lit, music playing in the background and 2 of the cutest girls cooking together in the kitchen. I was introduced to Courtney and Patty. Patty was making fried chocolate wontons and Courtney was putting powder sugar on them... all I can say is mmmmmmmmm. I enjoyed quite a few of those that night.
So I also met Kat & Alisa and Mel & Rhonda. We all settled into introductions, thank goodness there is never a test after meeting 6 new people. Everyone grabbed food, drinks and headed to the table. As some people had never played before, there was a short explanation of how it was played, blinds and betting. As I "helped" with some of the terms, I was labeled a card shark. Which is very comical since I am far from being a person who likes to gamble. I have dealt the game many a time (hence the reason I know it) I've watched it for countless hours and do enjoy the aspects of it but for me to actually play, not so much. However, on this night, it sounded like a lot of fun and I'm all about having fun.
I won the first game and then it was on... Patty had her eye on me lmao So we played for awhile and they have a fun house rule that if someone says something really funny you can tip them a Nickel. I got tipped a quarter once, sorry Denise for flicking you in the cheek but you were being mean! *giggles* Around 10ish the other 4 left and we stayed to play more, ordered pizza around 11 and spent a very good time just getting to know one another. Patty and Courtney are simply wonderful people and I'm glad I was lucky enough to meet them. I look forward to more nights hanging out.
Finally, around 1:00am we decided to call it a night. So much FUN! I headed home with one of those really good fuzzy feelings inside :)
Friday, October 05, 2007
Tumbling Back In
So life is funny. So many up and downs. Some days your the dog and some days your the hydrant. I've been trying more and more to step out of my self and look around me, at me, through me, you get the idea. The universe is a grand thing. The people you meet at those particular times, it's all laid out, you just don't know it yet. Simple choices like what to have for lunch or leaving 5 minutes later for work, it's all mapped out. Like one big game and we're the bits moving on the evergrowing board. I like the idea of it even as scary as it is sometimes.
So life is funny. So many up and downs. Some days your the dog and some days your the hydrant. I've been trying more and more to step out of my self and look around me, at me, through me, you get the idea. The universe is a grand thing. The people you meet at those particular times, it's all laid out, you just don't know it yet. Simple choices like what to have for lunch or leaving 5 minutes later for work, it's all mapped out. Like one big game and we're the bits moving on the evergrowing board. I like the idea of it even as scary as it is sometimes.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Birthday, Baseball in Boston and Being In Love
So Thursday night (Sept. 27th) my dad dropped me off at the airport around 7:30pm. I had more than enough time to check my bags, take my shoes off, my lappy out, my dvd player, my art pencils (oh yeah, you read that right, the metal tin angers the machine, so out they come) and rings, change, watch, etc, etc, etc. At least I only have to do this once... or so I thought. So I got redressed, reset my bag and headed to good ol' Gate 3 to wait to board.
Viva Las Vegas! Enter McCarran Airport in fabulous Las Vegas, NV. I have learned the flights well over the past 2 months and I like this airport for the most part. So I headed to gate B20 because that's where my connection terminal always is. I usually have about 30 minutes to get from one side to the other. So I took my time walked over and my gate said "Columbus." Okay. That isn't Boston. So I walked to the screens and my gate had been changed... to C23 which is very, very, VERY far away and I had 13 minutes to get there. I jogged. I literally ran through the airport. I always wondered why people did that. I get it now. So I got to another security checkpoint because it was that far that I had to leave one terminal to another and I had to strip down AGAIN with about 4 minutes. I walked through and beeped. I had Alix's birthday present in my pocket and forgot to take it out, so they had me put that and my bluetooth in a small container and go through. I shoved every possible thing I could in my pockets and bag. I asked the security guy if I'd make it and he looked at me and said, "HURRY." I had to take a short train and run down another corridor but damn it, I made it. I sat there for 10 minutes and caught my breath and finally cooled down. I started to empty my pockets and realized I didn't grab her ring or my bluetooth out of the extra container! I pushed the call button and since we were still waiting on a maintence thing, I was told to go to the gate and see if they can help. The girl said I could go back. I asked, "are you sure I can go all the way back to security?" She looked at me and said, "run." So I gave my name and did just that. I ran down the corridor, took the train, ran to security, got my stuff, ran back to the train, back to the corridor and back onto the plane. The flight crew saw me coming and asked if I got her present (I had explained to them what it was I left), when I showed them the box, they all clapped and cheered. Which left me in a weird spot because when I turned to walked down the isle of the plane EVERYONE was starring at me. Hi, embarrassed much? So I sat back down, even hotter than before and did a HUGE sigh of relief. And I thought it would be safer on me than in a bag! Even funnier part, we still didn't take off for another 30 minutes after I got back, one of our pilots wasn't even there yet. We left an hour late... geez.
So I slept a little more than last time but not much. I was hoping to get at least 3 hours because I had some shopping to do when I got in town. We landed and got held up because there was another plane at our gate. Really? She's right there and I'm stuck on this plane. This landing was a little more interesting. You fly over the city out over the water to land in Logan. It's pretty neat actually, you get to see the coastline for pretty far and the views are simply breathtaking. The area is just beautiful. This time though, I knew we were getting close and we started to circle down but you couldn't see a thing. The clouds were super thick. It was like we could land on those, kinda nerve racking. So he circles lower and into the clouds we go, next thing I know, I see the run way and we're down. Wow, good job Mr. Pilot dude :)
Ginormous airport hugs are great! All dressed for work, she looked adorable as always. I even got a special pink frosted donut with sprinkles, mmm. We got my luggage and headed to work. I took the car and headed to a parking lot to plan my route. I found a fun party store, went grocery shopping and found my way home easily. Well that would be the last time it would be so simple. I got home, put the groceries away and decorated her room. I laid down for a bit and thought I should probably set an alarm in case I fall asleep. Well apparently, in that thought, I fell a sleep. Next thing I know, it's 3:50 and I'm suppose to leave at 4 to go get her. SHIT! I ran to shower off and left by 4:15pm. I headed to where I thought I was suppose to go... but I was lost. I tried to call her but no answer. (Okay this is funny because anytime I call her, she answers, even if it's to tell me she has to call me back. Now that I'm in Boston, no answer). So I just kept driving knowing that she would call when she could. Now it was like 5 till 5:00pm and I was serverly lost. She called and I had no idea where I was, the navigator in my phone chose now not to work so I was fucked and my lappy was dead... wow. I finally found a point where she could get me back toward her. Apparently, I zigged where I should have zagged. *giggles* It's funny now but I was so sad that I was so late to get her. So I had to let her go when I got to the tunnel because I had to drive under the city (that's so cool) and I thought I had it under control. Nope, got lost again. Only for about 15 minutes this time. Found my way back, called her from the parking lot and down she came with a piece of cake for me that the people in her office got her. And let me tell you, after the past 1.5 hour I just went through, that cake was well received.
So we headed home, up the stairs and into her room she went to find some signs and balloons while I stayed in the kitchen to make dinner. I love to cook, so much fun :) I left her to set up my lappy so we could watch some of the cartoons I had recorded, among some other things. By the time I finished, she had that thing wired through her Xbox 360 that played through her computer and the tv or something. I dont' know really but it was cool and all ready to go. We enjoyed dinner. We were laying in bed listening to music and I was fiddling with her fingers and it dawned on me that it was a good time to just slip the ring on. So I reached over to the night stand and fiddled with my phone (actually getting the ring) and slipped it on :) Fast forward and it was 3:30am before we knew it.
Woke up around 11ish and laid around for a bit, decided if we wanted to get out, we'd have to get moving and finally left the house around 3:00pm. Went to a great gaming store, killed some time, she showed me Harvard Square, areas she's lived, places she worked and some back stories to go with it all and I loved it. We headed back to get my camera, a bag and then headed to a parking lot so we could catch the T to FENWAY! We took this one as far as we could and then had a fairly short walk to the stadium. I had the best time listening to everyone with an accent. That city knows how to love their team and it was awesome. We walked through some of the coolest areas and neatest buildings. I was so in awe I literally forgot to take pictures. Alix learned quite quickly that I wander. If something catches my eye, I go right to it. She turned a few times and I was gone... oops. *Sorry baby but thanks for being so patient and finding me with a smile every time* She also found that holding my hand made it easier to keep track of me *giggles*
So before we actually entered Fenway, she took me to a super cool team store and bought me a sweatshirt and t-shirt! YAY! They are super comfy awesome! THEN... oh yes, we entered, in my opinion, the most historic ball park EVER! The brick, the green monster, the history, the love for the game... wow wow WOW. That ballpark has a feeling like nothing from the West coast. The energy in that place is AMAZING to say the least. We shared a hot dog and some chicken and fries, so great. The stadium is small but very cool. We had pretty good seats and I had the best time just taking it all in. The one thing that had me constantly commenting on it? Alright, if you've been to games you know they have the people who walk up and down the isles selling, sodas, ice cream, pizza or whatever. Okay, Boston wins. They sold "Hot Soup." Oh yeah, they sell New England Clam Chowder and crackers. Made perfect sense after I thought about it but it cracked me up for awhile. I have a pic, it's not great but you'll get the idea. Every time I tried to take one, someone would stand up or she would turn. So you're stuck with the one with my thumb in the corner.
Great game! They came back to win 6 to 4 that night! Big Pappi came up and tanked one at the Green Monster to insure it in the 6th (I think). It was great. You know what else is super fun? Singing Sweet Caroline. They turn the music down at certain parts and it's "all crowd" singing. It's giving me the chills just typing about it. So great, great GREAT! I took some pics around the park and that will be a great memory for a long time. I can't thank you enough baby for sharing your birthday, city and Fenway with me. We walked around for a bit afterwards, tried to play pool downtown but it was way too packed so she decided to take me to her arcade.
I've heard about this place from her and Spin many-a-time so I was really excited to see it. Okay, this place is HUGE. It has so many giant screen tv's all along the wall, games, batting cages, pool tables, bar... and the best jalapeno salsa chicken sandwich. I have a new love for Alcohol induced Tea :) We played a few games of pool and headed home. Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
Slept in, of course. Went out for a FANTASTIC breakfast/lunch. Mmm, I like waffles. Went to the mall, went crazy at Old Navy and I got a new Boston lid :) There was a pretty park on one side of the mall. So beautiful and it had cooled down quite a bit. It was too late for me to make dinner so we decided on pizza and wings. We set the lappy up in the kitchen and watched Pokemon. Loved it! Back in the room we watched one of my fav comedians which she loved. To the point that she went and bought his DVD when she saw it :) *SPARKLE-LY* I made a giant cookie, cut a big piece into a bowl and put vanilla ice cream on it. Ate that in bed while watching tv. We laid around for our last night together for this trip, I packed up and we headed to bed.
Ooops, oops and oops. We forgot to factor some things in and I missed my flight. So I got re-routed and ended up with a layover in Phoenix. I was suppose to be home at noon and got home at 7:30pm but at least I got home.
This trip was a lot harder. As I'm sure each one will be till she can finally be here for good. I'm going with the notion that anything worth having is worth waiting for. I will stay positive and it's nice that she won't let me be sad for long, always there to comfort and pick me up. Each time everything flows a little smoother and becomes more natural.
It was hard to say bye to that cool New England air and that girl that has a piece of my heart but it always gives me something to look forward to because each time we do come back together, I know what it means to really feel love. Not the store bought fly by night kind but the grips at your soul and makes you smile from the inside kind. The one that you thought was only in books... oh yeah, that kind *smiles* Deeper and deeper, this girl gets me... so much that when I struggle with words, she can say it for me. When those eyes look at me... they look into me but they don't scare me, they don't make me fear what she sees because I know she loves me for exactly who I am and have longed to be. Thank you Alix.
Aww, we're so cute! Birthday at Fenway, YAY!
Outside the mall.
Black & White of the outfield
Painted near one of the entrances above the hot dogs
There's the Clam Chowder Girl!
Ahh... there it is, Fenway Park *blinks*
So Thursday night (Sept. 27th) my dad dropped me off at the airport around 7:30pm. I had more than enough time to check my bags, take my shoes off, my lappy out, my dvd player, my art pencils (oh yeah, you read that right, the metal tin angers the machine, so out they come) and rings, change, watch, etc, etc, etc. At least I only have to do this once... or so I thought. So I got redressed, reset my bag and headed to good ol' Gate 3 to wait to board.
Viva Las Vegas! Enter McCarran Airport in fabulous Las Vegas, NV. I have learned the flights well over the past 2 months and I like this airport for the most part. So I headed to gate B20 because that's where my connection terminal always is. I usually have about 30 minutes to get from one side to the other. So I took my time walked over and my gate said "Columbus." Okay. That isn't Boston. So I walked to the screens and my gate had been changed... to C23 which is very, very, VERY far away and I had 13 minutes to get there. I jogged. I literally ran through the airport. I always wondered why people did that. I get it now. So I got to another security checkpoint because it was that far that I had to leave one terminal to another and I had to strip down AGAIN with about 4 minutes. I walked through and beeped. I had Alix's birthday present in my pocket and forgot to take it out, so they had me put that and my bluetooth in a small container and go through. I shoved every possible thing I could in my pockets and bag. I asked the security guy if I'd make it and he looked at me and said, "HURRY." I had to take a short train and run down another corridor but damn it, I made it. I sat there for 10 minutes and caught my breath and finally cooled down. I started to empty my pockets and realized I didn't grab her ring or my bluetooth out of the extra container! I pushed the call button and since we were still waiting on a maintence thing, I was told to go to the gate and see if they can help. The girl said I could go back. I asked, "are you sure I can go all the way back to security?" She looked at me and said, "run." So I gave my name and did just that. I ran down the corridor, took the train, ran to security, got my stuff, ran back to the train, back to the corridor and back onto the plane. The flight crew saw me coming and asked if I got her present (I had explained to them what it was I left), when I showed them the box, they all clapped and cheered. Which left me in a weird spot because when I turned to walked down the isle of the plane EVERYONE was starring at me. Hi, embarrassed much? So I sat back down, even hotter than before and did a HUGE sigh of relief. And I thought it would be safer on me than in a bag! Even funnier part, we still didn't take off for another 30 minutes after I got back, one of our pilots wasn't even there yet. We left an hour late... geez.
So I slept a little more than last time but not much. I was hoping to get at least 3 hours because I had some shopping to do when I got in town. We landed and got held up because there was another plane at our gate. Really? She's right there and I'm stuck on this plane. This landing was a little more interesting. You fly over the city out over the water to land in Logan. It's pretty neat actually, you get to see the coastline for pretty far and the views are simply breathtaking. The area is just beautiful. This time though, I knew we were getting close and we started to circle down but you couldn't see a thing. The clouds were super thick. It was like we could land on those, kinda nerve racking. So he circles lower and into the clouds we go, next thing I know, I see the run way and we're down. Wow, good job Mr. Pilot dude :)
Ginormous airport hugs are great! All dressed for work, she looked adorable as always. I even got a special pink frosted donut with sprinkles, mmm. We got my luggage and headed to work. I took the car and headed to a parking lot to plan my route. I found a fun party store, went grocery shopping and found my way home easily. Well that would be the last time it would be so simple. I got home, put the groceries away and decorated her room. I laid down for a bit and thought I should probably set an alarm in case I fall asleep. Well apparently, in that thought, I fell a sleep. Next thing I know, it's 3:50 and I'm suppose to leave at 4 to go get her. SHIT! I ran to shower off and left by 4:15pm. I headed to where I thought I was suppose to go... but I was lost. I tried to call her but no answer. (Okay this is funny because anytime I call her, she answers, even if it's to tell me she has to call me back. Now that I'm in Boston, no answer). So I just kept driving knowing that she would call when she could. Now it was like 5 till 5:00pm and I was serverly lost. She called and I had no idea where I was, the navigator in my phone chose now not to work so I was fucked and my lappy was dead... wow. I finally found a point where she could get me back toward her. Apparently, I zigged where I should have zagged. *giggles* It's funny now but I was so sad that I was so late to get her. So I had to let her go when I got to the tunnel because I had to drive under the city (that's so cool) and I thought I had it under control. Nope, got lost again. Only for about 15 minutes this time. Found my way back, called her from the parking lot and down she came with a piece of cake for me that the people in her office got her. And let me tell you, after the past 1.5 hour I just went through, that cake was well received.
So we headed home, up the stairs and into her room she went to find some signs and balloons while I stayed in the kitchen to make dinner. I love to cook, so much fun :) I left her to set up my lappy so we could watch some of the cartoons I had recorded, among some other things. By the time I finished, she had that thing wired through her Xbox 360 that played through her computer and the tv or something. I dont' know really but it was cool and all ready to go. We enjoyed dinner. We were laying in bed listening to music and I was fiddling with her fingers and it dawned on me that it was a good time to just slip the ring on. So I reached over to the night stand and fiddled with my phone (actually getting the ring) and slipped it on :) Fast forward and it was 3:30am before we knew it.
Woke up around 11ish and laid around for a bit, decided if we wanted to get out, we'd have to get moving and finally left the house around 3:00pm. Went to a great gaming store, killed some time, she showed me Harvard Square, areas she's lived, places she worked and some back stories to go with it all and I loved it. We headed back to get my camera, a bag and then headed to a parking lot so we could catch the T to FENWAY! We took this one as far as we could and then had a fairly short walk to the stadium. I had the best time listening to everyone with an accent. That city knows how to love their team and it was awesome. We walked through some of the coolest areas and neatest buildings. I was so in awe I literally forgot to take pictures. Alix learned quite quickly that I wander. If something catches my eye, I go right to it. She turned a few times and I was gone... oops. *Sorry baby but thanks for being so patient and finding me with a smile every time* She also found that holding my hand made it easier to keep track of me *giggles*
So before we actually entered Fenway, she took me to a super cool team store and bought me a sweatshirt and t-shirt! YAY! They are super comfy awesome! THEN... oh yes, we entered, in my opinion, the most historic ball park EVER! The brick, the green monster, the history, the love for the game... wow wow WOW. That ballpark has a feeling like nothing from the West coast. The energy in that place is AMAZING to say the least. We shared a hot dog and some chicken and fries, so great. The stadium is small but very cool. We had pretty good seats and I had the best time just taking it all in. The one thing that had me constantly commenting on it? Alright, if you've been to games you know they have the people who walk up and down the isles selling, sodas, ice cream, pizza or whatever. Okay, Boston wins. They sold "Hot Soup." Oh yeah, they sell New England Clam Chowder and crackers. Made perfect sense after I thought about it but it cracked me up for awhile. I have a pic, it's not great but you'll get the idea. Every time I tried to take one, someone would stand up or she would turn. So you're stuck with the one with my thumb in the corner.
Great game! They came back to win 6 to 4 that night! Big Pappi came up and tanked one at the Green Monster to insure it in the 6th (I think). It was great. You know what else is super fun? Singing Sweet Caroline. They turn the music down at certain parts and it's "all crowd" singing. It's giving me the chills just typing about it. So great, great GREAT! I took some pics around the park and that will be a great memory for a long time. I can't thank you enough baby for sharing your birthday, city and Fenway with me. We walked around for a bit afterwards, tried to play pool downtown but it was way too packed so she decided to take me to her arcade.
I've heard about this place from her and Spin many-a-time so I was really excited to see it. Okay, this place is HUGE. It has so many giant screen tv's all along the wall, games, batting cages, pool tables, bar... and the best jalapeno salsa chicken sandwich. I have a new love for Alcohol induced Tea :) We played a few games of pool and headed home. Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
Slept in, of course. Went out for a FANTASTIC breakfast/lunch. Mmm, I like waffles. Went to the mall, went crazy at Old Navy and I got a new Boston lid :) There was a pretty park on one side of the mall. So beautiful and it had cooled down quite a bit. It was too late for me to make dinner so we decided on pizza and wings. We set the lappy up in the kitchen and watched Pokemon. Loved it! Back in the room we watched one of my fav comedians which she loved. To the point that she went and bought his DVD when she saw it :) *SPARKLE-LY* I made a giant cookie, cut a big piece into a bowl and put vanilla ice cream on it. Ate that in bed while watching tv. We laid around for our last night together for this trip, I packed up and we headed to bed.
Ooops, oops and oops. We forgot to factor some things in and I missed my flight. So I got re-routed and ended up with a layover in Phoenix. I was suppose to be home at noon and got home at 7:30pm but at least I got home.
This trip was a lot harder. As I'm sure each one will be till she can finally be here for good. I'm going with the notion that anything worth having is worth waiting for. I will stay positive and it's nice that she won't let me be sad for long, always there to comfort and pick me up. Each time everything flows a little smoother and becomes more natural.
It was hard to say bye to that cool New England air and that girl that has a piece of my heart but it always gives me something to look forward to because each time we do come back together, I know what it means to really feel love. Not the store bought fly by night kind but the grips at your soul and makes you smile from the inside kind. The one that you thought was only in books... oh yeah, that kind *smiles* Deeper and deeper, this girl gets me... so much that when I struggle with words, she can say it for me. When those eyes look at me... they look into me but they don't scare me, they don't make me fear what she sees because I know she loves me for exactly who I am and have longed to be. Thank you Alix.
Aww, we're so cute! Birthday at Fenway, YAY!
Outside the mall.
Black & White of the outfield
Painted near one of the entrances above the hot dogs
There's the Clam Chowder Girl!
Ahh... there it is, Fenway Park *blinks*
Monday, October 01, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I'm back... well sort of.
So I went to the fair last night with my family. I need to remind myself more often how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my family. I forget sometimes, I don't mean to but it happens to the best of us. We did our usual, hit 8+ different food vendors, sharing everything that got brought to the table. It was great. Then we headed off to find my pictures. I entered 5; 2 b&w and 3 color. Found my one from Zion: Honorable Mention (sweet). Found my Fire in the sky, nothing (oh well). Found my little flowers being watered, nothing (again, not surprised). Found my Flintstones Front Yard: 6th Place (yay). Found my favorite pic of all, the close of up of the flower I paint on all the time: 3rd (woohoo). So 3 of my 5 got tagged. Not too bad. There were a lot more pics entered this year, some you look at and think, really? And others you're not surprised at all.
I had fun walking around, taking pics with my phone and my little Nikon Coolpix (Nikki). I enjoyed the lights, the conversation, the cheesy carnival games and the smells of the fair and fall. Just an all around good night.
So I went to the fair last night with my family. I need to remind myself more often how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my family. I forget sometimes, I don't mean to but it happens to the best of us. We did our usual, hit 8+ different food vendors, sharing everything that got brought to the table. It was great. Then we headed off to find my pictures. I entered 5; 2 b&w and 3 color. Found my one from Zion: Honorable Mention (sweet). Found my Fire in the sky, nothing (oh well). Found my little flowers being watered, nothing (again, not surprised). Found my Flintstones Front Yard: 6th Place (yay). Found my favorite pic of all, the close of up of the flower I paint on all the time: 3rd (woohoo). So 3 of my 5 got tagged. Not too bad. There were a lot more pics entered this year, some you look at and think, really? And others you're not surprised at all.
I had fun walking around, taking pics with my phone and my little Nikon Coolpix (Nikki). I enjoyed the lights, the conversation, the cheesy carnival games and the smells of the fair and fall. Just an all around good night.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
For all the things we struggle through, it’s those moments at the top that keep us constantly striving for more. We walk with encouragement, we speak through watching and listening and we love from our souls. So many things we do alone but our beginnings in life came with so much love and caring that we strive that much more when surrounded by a strong support system.
Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in your life’s work? I think at least once a day I wonder, how did I get myself into this situation? How am I going to accomplish all of THAT? How is there time for anyone else in my life? Things constantly change around you, constantly make you look in the mirror at yourself and say, “well, it has to get done and no one can do it but you.”
You. Me. Us.
You do the best you can from day to day in hope that with good intentions, come good outcomes.
Me, selfish alone but powerful on a whole other realm.
Us occurred by a mysterious happenstance and combines the best of your heart and the powerful mindset of me.
*~*
May the “me & you” of your life find the “us” you've been destined to have since lifes' first breath.
Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in your life’s work? I think at least once a day I wonder, how did I get myself into this situation? How am I going to accomplish all of THAT? How is there time for anyone else in my life? Things constantly change around you, constantly make you look in the mirror at yourself and say, “well, it has to get done and no one can do it but you.”
You. Me. Us.
You do the best you can from day to day in hope that with good intentions, come good outcomes.
Me, selfish alone but powerful on a whole other realm.
Us occurred by a mysterious happenstance and combines the best of your heart and the powerful mindset of me.
*~*
May the “me & you” of your life find the “us” you've been destined to have since lifes' first breath.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
YAY!!!
So I was informed yesterday that I am the proud owner of an Optimus Prime Flannel Blanky! *jumps up and down* In case you didn't know, I absolutely LOVE Transformers! Alix was saying that she wanted to unfold it and my reply was, "this is one Auto bot you can't roll out." *giggles incessantly* One of the corniest things I've said but it started coming out of my mouth before I could stop it.
So I was informed yesterday that I am the proud owner of an Optimus Prime Flannel Blanky! *jumps up and down* In case you didn't know, I absolutely LOVE Transformers! Alix was saying that she wanted to unfold it and my reply was, "this is one Auto bot you can't roll out." *giggles incessantly* One of the corniest things I've said but it started coming out of my mouth before I could stop it.
Winding Down
I'm finally settling into my life. My ability to balance isn't the best yet but I'm working on it. If I'm constantly aware of it and putting in a true effort then at least I'm working toward a goal. I've also decided that not putting the laundry away as soon as it comes out of dryer won't kill anyone. It bugged me before and I'm not sure why. I like my car to be messy otherwise I can't find anything. I like my art stuff to be in perfect lines, containers and labeled but I can't lose all my quirks, right? :) I like my desk that has dvd's, my iPod plugged in, my Lappy with cable/recordable tv and pictures scattered about trying to decide which one(s) to work on next.
My router is a pain in my ass and my GPS doesn't like Windows Vista but all in all, it just makes me laugh. I don't get mad like I used to, I may get a little annoyed but I don't feel anger inside. I do things for people because I want to, not to get something out of it. I'm a nice girl. I want to stroll through life knowing that, now, I'm doing the best of my ability and more importantly, creativity.
Just feeling really balanced today. Not super tired, not cracked out awake but just floating through and it's nice.
May you walk a little lighter today...
I'm finally settling into my life. My ability to balance isn't the best yet but I'm working on it. If I'm constantly aware of it and putting in a true effort then at least I'm working toward a goal. I've also decided that not putting the laundry away as soon as it comes out of dryer won't kill anyone. It bugged me before and I'm not sure why. I like my car to be messy otherwise I can't find anything. I like my art stuff to be in perfect lines, containers and labeled but I can't lose all my quirks, right? :) I like my desk that has dvd's, my iPod plugged in, my Lappy with cable/recordable tv and pictures scattered about trying to decide which one(s) to work on next.
My router is a pain in my ass and my GPS doesn't like Windows Vista but all in all, it just makes me laugh. I don't get mad like I used to, I may get a little annoyed but I don't feel anger inside. I do things for people because I want to, not to get something out of it. I'm a nice girl. I want to stroll through life knowing that, now, I'm doing the best of my ability and more importantly, creativity.
Just feeling really balanced today. Not super tired, not cracked out awake but just floating through and it's nice.
May you walk a little lighter today...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
*tears*
So my bunco friend has passed on to walk in realms unbeknown to us on Earth. Yana you'll be terribly missed. My heart goes out to her family... may you find some kind of inner peace knowing she won't suffer anymore.
"hand to hand, heart to heart... I walk by your side, never in front to lead, never behind to leave you but as your equal, as your friend."
So my bunco friend has passed on to walk in realms unbeknown to us on Earth. Yana you'll be terribly missed. My heart goes out to her family... may you find some kind of inner peace knowing she won't suffer anymore.
"hand to hand, heart to heart... I walk by your side, never in front to lead, never behind to leave you but as your equal, as your friend."
Audit
I have to be at work in 30 minutes for an Audit by the company that basically is what keeps us running. So if we lost them, that could be major trouble. I have to wear pants, my work polo shirt and tennis shoes. I hate shoes. I want my flippy floppies. Later, they're in the car *wink*
I can't believe I'm going to work in the dark. Just thought I'd share. I have to go flat iron my rainbow hair, that should get some smiles, right?
I have to be at work in 30 minutes for an Audit by the company that basically is what keeps us running. So if we lost them, that could be major trouble. I have to wear pants, my work polo shirt and tennis shoes. I hate shoes. I want my flippy floppies. Later, they're in the car *wink*
I can't believe I'm going to work in the dark. Just thought I'd share. I have to go flat iron my rainbow hair, that should get some smiles, right?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
To my friend...
I met you 3 short years ago and I thought you are one of the most funny women I've met and you're quite spunky for your age. I love your accent and the way you connect with your daughter. You enjoy a good beer and snack with the best of us. You can roll dice and get buncos like nothing I've ever seen...
I got a call a short while ago that one of my friends from my bunco is in a medically induced coma and doesn't have much longer to live.
Yana you are an amazing gal. You've gone through 2 cancers since I've met you and you're a fighter. No one can deny that, you came to bunco with your wigs and ripped them off proclaiming, "it's cooler this way!" We would laugh and you loved your baldness and the money you were saving on shampoo. Nights when you looked down, you always found a way to smile and I've ALWAYS admired that about you. I don't know that I could be so strong and you are definitely a force to not be messed with.
As I can not stand by your side to hold your hand, I walk by your side in my thoughts...
I met you 3 short years ago and I thought you are one of the most funny women I've met and you're quite spunky for your age. I love your accent and the way you connect with your daughter. You enjoy a good beer and snack with the best of us. You can roll dice and get buncos like nothing I've ever seen...
I got a call a short while ago that one of my friends from my bunco is in a medically induced coma and doesn't have much longer to live.
Yana you are an amazing gal. You've gone through 2 cancers since I've met you and you're a fighter. No one can deny that, you came to bunco with your wigs and ripped them off proclaiming, "it's cooler this way!" We would laugh and you loved your baldness and the money you were saving on shampoo. Nights when you looked down, you always found a way to smile and I've ALWAYS admired that about you. I don't know that I could be so strong and you are definitely a force to not be messed with.
As I can not stand by your side to hold your hand, I walk by your side in my thoughts...
Friday, September 14, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Righting Wrongs... aka misunderstandings they are-a many!
So Monday night I went to a football party with some friends. I hadn't planned on it but by the request of a really awesome friend, I went and I'm glad I did. Our community is small enough that separating myself really isn't going to solve anything. The games were alright, the food was super yummy but the friends are what make it worth it. However, this is where the trouble began.
Funny how it works but some people you only see when football season comes around. Our city is big in some ways but tiny in so many as well. I'm sure this is typical in most LGBT communities but we're divided in about 4 groups. I worked really hard to mesh between 2 and have done a really great job, well so I thought.
I have been given the task to put on a Halloween party. Okay, threaten me with a great time! I have a plan. I will have lots of wonderful help and I'm even going to be given a budget. Everyone is very supportive. Well everyone but the people who were actually suppose to host the party and have for the past few years. When this idea was first brought up, it was immediately brought up that MCC (another group) needed to be contacted right away to see when their party was as to not conflict with it or step on any toes. My immediate thought was "why can't we combine the two?" Being that I am only a year into the "active" community I didn't ask, I still have a lot to learn and I'm just observing the dynamics still. Fast Forward to Monday Night when I was approached by 2 friends about the Halloween Party.
It was brought to my attention that we had squashed their party and they weren't even initially told, they found out through a 3rd party. Okay, shitty. AND I felt about this small .
Now they immediately said, they knew it wasn't my intention and I probably had no idea and by the look on my face they knew they were right. We talked it out and I apologized like a 100 times. I mean one of them really had their feelings hurt and I felt HORRIBLE about that.
I was trying to believe that there was some kind of miscommunication. After discussing it with Alix, we both thought it best, I shelf it for the night and think of a constructive way to handle this since a board meeting was the next night. GREAT ADVICE! I woke up feeling like it was time to handle my business and going to the gym before the meeting really helped me get my energy focused in a positive way. I decided that smaller was better and when I brought it up another person also had the same problem I did... what happened to the other party? After some great discussion and clearing up of A LOT of unanswered questions, it just wasn't voiced down to the right people in the right manner. So now that was cleared up but I wanted it more. *shocker, wiggles fingers* I asked, "is it possible to combine the two?" There was no resistance, no looks of horror. I explained that I would love to have a united front and combine crowds that might not normally do so. I'd like this to happen more often and I think this being such a "fun" event that this would be a great place to start. The idea was embraced and I was given reins to be the liaison between the 2. *all smiles* Part 1... DONE.
Part 2
Now I needed to contact my friends and see if they were honestly okay with the 2 combining. I called and explained EVERYTHING that had happened. My new intentions and what they thought. We discussed it and they were quite happy (well from what I could tell) and are looking forward to working together. I am also going to MCC's board meeting next week to present my ideas and start working with them on this. I was commended on my handling of situation and feel really good about how it turned out. *HUGE SMILES*
Now begin the plans, budgeting and making sure both parties stay happy and well communicated. Lots of notes and emails but I'm ready for it. This is what I do :)
So the lesson and advice here is: If you have a problem with someone/something or don't understand things that are going on, don't ask others "around" them, just go directly to the source and ask. You're going to get an honest answer and there is no guess work involved. The worst that happens is you find out the truth and there is nothing wrong with that.
So Monday night I went to a football party with some friends. I hadn't planned on it but by the request of a really awesome friend, I went and I'm glad I did. Our community is small enough that separating myself really isn't going to solve anything. The games were alright, the food was super yummy but the friends are what make it worth it. However, this is where the trouble began.
Funny how it works but some people you only see when football season comes around. Our city is big in some ways but tiny in so many as well. I'm sure this is typical in most LGBT communities but we're divided in about 4 groups. I worked really hard to mesh between 2 and have done a really great job, well so I thought.
I have been given the task to put on a Halloween party. Okay, threaten me with a great time! I have a plan. I will have lots of wonderful help and I'm even going to be given a budget. Everyone is very supportive. Well everyone but the people who were actually suppose to host the party and have for the past few years. When this idea was first brought up, it was immediately brought up that MCC (another group) needed to be contacted right away to see when their party was as to not conflict with it or step on any toes. My immediate thought was "why can't we combine the two?" Being that I am only a year into the "active" community I didn't ask, I still have a lot to learn and I'm just observing the dynamics still. Fast Forward to Monday Night when I was approached by 2 friends about the Halloween Party.
It was brought to my attention that we had squashed their party and they weren't even initially told, they found out through a 3rd party. Okay, shitty. AND I felt about this small .
Now they immediately said, they knew it wasn't my intention and I probably had no idea and by the look on my face they knew they were right. We talked it out and I apologized like a 100 times. I mean one of them really had their feelings hurt and I felt HORRIBLE about that.
I was trying to believe that there was some kind of miscommunication. After discussing it with Alix, we both thought it best, I shelf it for the night and think of a constructive way to handle this since a board meeting was the next night. GREAT ADVICE! I woke up feeling like it was time to handle my business and going to the gym before the meeting really helped me get my energy focused in a positive way. I decided that smaller was better and when I brought it up another person also had the same problem I did... what happened to the other party? After some great discussion and clearing up of A LOT of unanswered questions, it just wasn't voiced down to the right people in the right manner. So now that was cleared up but I wanted it more. *shocker, wiggles fingers* I asked, "is it possible to combine the two?" There was no resistance, no looks of horror. I explained that I would love to have a united front and combine crowds that might not normally do so. I'd like this to happen more often and I think this being such a "fun" event that this would be a great place to start. The idea was embraced and I was given reins to be the liaison between the 2. *all smiles* Part 1... DONE.
Part 2
Now I needed to contact my friends and see if they were honestly okay with the 2 combining. I called and explained EVERYTHING that had happened. My new intentions and what they thought. We discussed it and they were quite happy (well from what I could tell) and are looking forward to working together. I am also going to MCC's board meeting next week to present my ideas and start working with them on this. I was commended on my handling of situation and feel really good about how it turned out. *HUGE SMILES*
Now begin the plans, budgeting and making sure both parties stay happy and well communicated. Lots of notes and emails but I'm ready for it. This is what I do :)
So the lesson and advice here is: If you have a problem with someone/something or don't understand things that are going on, don't ask others "around" them, just go directly to the source and ask. You're going to get an honest answer and there is no guess work involved. The worst that happens is you find out the truth and there is nothing wrong with that.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
Welcome to California
So bringing the new girl into town is an event unto itself. It just so happened that Friday morning, the 31st, had a HUGE change of events. Magically Alix didn't have to move afterall and now had the entire weekend open... so by 3:00pm that afternoon we had her booked on a flight to be in BFL by 1:00am. SWEET! She was now going to be here for Pride and a little family gathering on Sunday.
I found us a hotel room for the weekend and put plans into motion. She was now going to be able to meet my friends... and my family. So far, all the family I have shared with have been very supportive of me. I'm lucky to have such an awesome family. I knew they would welcome her in the same way. Pride went off wonderfully, we had a great time and somehow, she got hooked into taking care of filler music between bands. Computers and music being her thing, she was pretty much at ease... once we got all our shit figured out :) Thanks again baby, everyone really appreciated it. She also helped me in the beer booth. That was fun within itself. It could have been 10 deg cooler but overall it was a great Pride and I can't wait to get started for next years :)
Sunday eve brought us to a small family bbq. I say small and that falls somewhere between 10-15 people. No big deal... well unless your family consists of 5. Alix walked in, smiled and I started to make the rounds with names. My uncle welcomed her in with a big hug, it was great and made me smile so big inside. We had a great time and she fit right in. My best friend of 16 years loved her and was glad to see me so happy, giving me 2 big thumbs up :)
*sigh* as always it went to fast but each time we get closer and it becomes more *wow.*
I look forward to all the "wows" of the future and key cards that won't work after one use... *wink* Thanks again baby.
So bringing the new girl into town is an event unto itself. It just so happened that Friday morning, the 31st, had a HUGE change of events. Magically Alix didn't have to move afterall and now had the entire weekend open... so by 3:00pm that afternoon we had her booked on a flight to be in BFL by 1:00am. SWEET! She was now going to be here for Pride and a little family gathering on Sunday.
I found us a hotel room for the weekend and put plans into motion. She was now going to be able to meet my friends... and my family. So far, all the family I have shared with have been very supportive of me. I'm lucky to have such an awesome family. I knew they would welcome her in the same way. Pride went off wonderfully, we had a great time and somehow, she got hooked into taking care of filler music between bands. Computers and music being her thing, she was pretty much at ease... once we got all our shit figured out :) Thanks again baby, everyone really appreciated it. She also helped me in the beer booth. That was fun within itself. It could have been 10 deg cooler but overall it was a great Pride and I can't wait to get started for next years :)
Sunday eve brought us to a small family bbq. I say small and that falls somewhere between 10-15 people. No big deal... well unless your family consists of 5. Alix walked in, smiled and I started to make the rounds with names. My uncle welcomed her in with a big hug, it was great and made me smile so big inside. We had a great time and she fit right in. My best friend of 16 years loved her and was glad to see me so happy, giving me 2 big thumbs up :)
*sigh* as always it went to fast but each time we get closer and it becomes more *wow.*
I look forward to all the "wows" of the future and key cards that won't work after one use... *wink* Thanks again baby.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The night air forced her to grab her coat and pull it a little tighter around her neck. Her breath laid a path before her to follow. The air was brisk and she could smell the rain coming in quickly. The storm was coming much faster than her computer led her to believe before she left for work. The delay at the train station didn't help much either. Tonight her walk seemed to be taking twice as long and she couldn't move her feet fast enough. There weren't many people out tonight but there were a set of steps that seemed to be keeping in good time with hers. Freakishly close, she tried to move a bit quicker and even cross the street to change it up a bit. This caused unsaid person to follow in suit. A bit of alarm came across her as if someone put a warm blanket around her. As she turned to see who was in persuit, she was greeted by a "umph" from a person. As she caught herself and looked up she saw a familar face.
"Hey what's your hurry?"
"I'm sorry but someone..." her voice trailed off as she turned around and no one was there.
"Someone... what?"
She knew that someone was right behind her, she could almost feel their breath they seemed so close. How could someone disappear like that? The eerie nights of October were making themselves quite apparent.
Fall, I welcome you and your eternal bond with unexplainable things and chills within the night. *mmm*
"Hey what's your hurry?"
"I'm sorry but someone..." her voice trailed off as she turned around and no one was there.
"Someone... what?"
She knew that someone was right behind her, she could almost feel their breath they seemed so close. How could someone disappear like that? The eerie nights of October were making themselves quite apparent.
Fall, I welcome you and your eternal bond with unexplainable things and chills within the night. *mmm*
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Bite Me
I'm just pissed off. I'm tired of my shoulder dropping me to the point of tears and nausea because the pain can be so intense with one minor move. It's been 2 fucking weeks and I can't hardly do anything. The biggest suck of them all, I can't do anything I really love, well except paint/color but athletically I'm out for the count...
I'm going to the batting cages tonight. I just don't give a fuck. It's going to hurt regardless... let's see what I can really do to agitate it. I'll deal with the aftermath tomorrow.
*deep breaths* So now almost 3 hours later and some gentleness like I've never experienced before, I'm not going tonight. I could delete the above and make this just all sappy and crap but I figure in order to learn, I need to leave it up there to remind me to not be so selfish and my actions effect others. A problem I've had and am learning how to handle with some very special help.
Everything will be ok if that's how you want it to be - just believe.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Leaps and Bounds
Flying has never been my thing. Tonight it really hit me. Plans have been made, steps are being taken and futures are falling into place. I did one of the biggest leaps of my life. I'm bound to find what I've lacked and been denied for so long. After some conversations and wonderful advice from many people, I know this path is the one that makes me happiest. Tonight a girl showed me something. Tonight I understood. In a few more moons... a new life starts. Welcome life...
*smiles*
"I fall so hard inside the idea of you, That’s why with you can say what I mean"
Flying has never been my thing. Tonight it really hit me. Plans have been made, steps are being taken and futures are falling into place. I did one of the biggest leaps of my life. I'm bound to find what I've lacked and been denied for so long. After some conversations and wonderful advice from many people, I know this path is the one that makes me happiest. Tonight a girl showed me something. Tonight I understood. In a few more moons... a new life starts. Welcome life...
*smiles*
"I fall so hard inside the idea of you, That’s why with you can say what I mean"
Saturday, August 18, 2007
I really enjoyed watching people this trip. Watching them interact as couples, families and friends. I'm a voyeur by nature, anyone who knows me, knows this. It gives me ammo for all my artistic ventures, you never know when you need to pull something from the memory banks.
You've seen this pier 100's of times, you've seen the people playing volleyball, tanning, walking, enjoying their families... falling in love but have you really ever felt it... I mean looked around and think, "shit, I have it good and look at all the people I have to share this moment with?"
My advice is take that walk, grab that hand and kiss that person like you're back in junior high and it's the first kiss of your entire life...
I've had trips to the beach by myself before but this trip had a whole new outlook for me. It was based purely on searching for pictures to shoot for painting/artistic purposes. I wandered around, met some new people and just generally had a good time wandering free. Wandering seems to be what I do best. I enjoy it. Make sure you wander once in awhile, it does wonders for the mind and soul.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Grinding noises, teaching one self how to adjust and an update:
So it's been offically a week now since I went to the doctor. Saturday still had me VERY limited on what I can do. Putting on a back pack was quite an event. It involved me sitting on the bed, while balancing the back pack upright. sliding it through the injured shoulder first, then manuevering my left one to proceed in figuring out a way in. Don't ask about getting dressed, basically a lot of wincing and weird bending. Picking up a fork off the counter hurt like hell. It was like someone took a ice pick, wedged in between where my shoulder and arm connect and wiggle it back and forth so sharp pains proceed to shoot out in all directions like lightening bolts and basically make my hand useless. With that said, I was still taking my pain meds and being a damn slug which drives me nuts but THANK GOODNESS for my friends taking me out and keeping my mind off of it. Monday came around and a big difference occurred. I could now use my hand. *nods* Okay, diggin' this. I could even lift it almost shoulder height, pretty sweet. The exercises were FINALLY working. I swear making your fingers walk up a door seems stupid but I SOO get it now.
Enter Tuesday. Now some days last week I would forget and reach for something and major expicitives would exit my mouth usually by something falling on the ground. Yesterday was different. I forgot, however, when I picked up a "bomb" to load in the machine, not till I was half way through did I realize what happened. Enter *huge ass smiles* I decided to test it out. I lifted it straight out very slowly to shoulder height. No pain. Lifted it stratight up. No pain. Made a full circle motion... HOLY SHIT NO PAIN! So I'm on day 8 here people. I have to be realistic, I'm still suppose to be super careful for 6 more days. Otherwise, a certain person will smack me in the back of the head and I don't need a headache on top of everything else. Yes, I'm being very careful *smiles & winks* promise.
Having full function again is giving me a whole new appreciation for my health. It's onward and upward from here. The grinding noise isn't so great and is new and I was warned of this. The option to fix this is to have some of my bone shaved off. Who in the what... oh yeah, you read that right. We'll see how bad it actually is, swelling can still be a contributing factor. Wish me well on my quest to be a slug for the upcoming week. The only thing I'm lifting is my camera at the beach and my art stix to color some pics :)
So it's been offically a week now since I went to the doctor. Saturday still had me VERY limited on what I can do. Putting on a back pack was quite an event. It involved me sitting on the bed, while balancing the back pack upright. sliding it through the injured shoulder first, then manuevering my left one to proceed in figuring out a way in. Don't ask about getting dressed, basically a lot of wincing and weird bending. Picking up a fork off the counter hurt like hell. It was like someone took a ice pick, wedged in between where my shoulder and arm connect and wiggle it back and forth so sharp pains proceed to shoot out in all directions like lightening bolts and basically make my hand useless. With that said, I was still taking my pain meds and being a damn slug which drives me nuts but THANK GOODNESS for my friends taking me out and keeping my mind off of it. Monday came around and a big difference occurred. I could now use my hand. *nods* Okay, diggin' this. I could even lift it almost shoulder height, pretty sweet. The exercises were FINALLY working. I swear making your fingers walk up a door seems stupid but I SOO get it now.
Enter Tuesday. Now some days last week I would forget and reach for something and major expicitives would exit my mouth usually by something falling on the ground. Yesterday was different. I forgot, however, when I picked up a "bomb" to load in the machine, not till I was half way through did I realize what happened. Enter *huge ass smiles* I decided to test it out. I lifted it straight out very slowly to shoulder height. No pain. Lifted it stratight up. No pain. Made a full circle motion... HOLY SHIT NO PAIN! So I'm on day 8 here people. I have to be realistic, I'm still suppose to be super careful for 6 more days. Otherwise, a certain person will smack me in the back of the head and I don't need a headache on top of everything else. Yes, I'm being very careful *smiles & winks* promise.
Having full function again is giving me a whole new appreciation for my health. It's onward and upward from here. The grinding noise isn't so great and is new and I was warned of this. The option to fix this is to have some of my bone shaved off. Who in the what... oh yeah, you read that right. We'll see how bad it actually is, swelling can still be a contributing factor. Wish me well on my quest to be a slug for the upcoming week. The only thing I'm lifting is my camera at the beach and my art stix to color some pics :)
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Hi Pictures *waves*
With a teeny bit of persuasion, I now have two of my pics displaying at the 18th Street Gallery & Studio. It's all very strange. They will be on display in the studio part sometime next week. Makes me want to do more. Now I have to figure out what I'd like to do more of exactly?
"Walking on my path, it really feels like I'm floating along now."
With a teeny bit of persuasion, I now have two of my pics displaying at the 18th Street Gallery & Studio. It's all very strange. They will be on display in the studio part sometime next week. Makes me want to do more. Now I have to figure out what I'd like to do more of exactly?
"Walking on my path, it really feels like I'm floating along now."
What If's...
I'm finally living without what if's. My fearlessness is almost scary within itself. Interesting to say the least. I've taken 3 very big What If's and walked right into them with a very sound mind. No regrets. This is my path, the one I've searched for within myself for awhile.
Love
Dreams
Life
No particular order really. I live by my own Law of 3. I believe if you have 3 very good reasons to do something, you should do it. I also, up until recently (but I'm now rethinking), believed the reverse, 3 very bad reasons should tell you not to do it. Which brings me to my next point, if you go looking for the 3 bad reasons aren't you setting yourself up for one big What If? The pessimist. Looking for the negative, never "going for it." How many times are you going to dwell on that negative and finally look at that glass and think, "that is 1/2 of a great fucking beer, sitting there, going to waste, for what?"
"You seek up an emotion
And our cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry" DMB
I've made my cup overflow and the emotion makes it nearly impossible for me not to smile most of the time. I'm looking forward to my newest adventure with love, dreams and life. I'm taking a huge chance in a situation I never thought possible. One impulsive moment by someone proved to me what I had been missing.
"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of who you were really meant to love."
I'm finally living without what if's. My fearlessness is almost scary within itself. Interesting to say the least. I've taken 3 very big What If's and walked right into them with a very sound mind. No regrets. This is my path, the one I've searched for within myself for awhile.
Love
Dreams
Life
No particular order really. I live by my own Law of 3. I believe if you have 3 very good reasons to do something, you should do it. I also, up until recently (but I'm now rethinking), believed the reverse, 3 very bad reasons should tell you not to do it. Which brings me to my next point, if you go looking for the 3 bad reasons aren't you setting yourself up for one big What If? The pessimist. Looking for the negative, never "going for it." How many times are you going to dwell on that negative and finally look at that glass and think, "that is 1/2 of a great fucking beer, sitting there, going to waste, for what?"
"You seek up an emotion
And our cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry" DMB
I've made my cup overflow and the emotion makes it nearly impossible for me not to smile most of the time. I'm looking forward to my newest adventure with love, dreams and life. I'm taking a huge chance in a situation I never thought possible. One impulsive moment by someone proved to me what I had been missing.
"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of who you were really meant to love."
Friday, August 10, 2007
Halloween is alright, I guess... *laughs uncontrollably*
Anyone who knows me, knows I am seriously into Halloween. I am all about "doin' it up." I'm not sure whose house I will decorate this year, I have 2 options. In all seriousness though, I could (if I had the time) decorate both :) Oh yeah, I have that much stuff. I have also met my match. My new friend JW apparently loves All Hallows Eve just as much and has even rented a storage unit just for all her stuff. Okay! Jealous a little? HELLS YEAH! We're going to collaborate I think... should be *looks around* hellish...
So I thought I should decorate my blog a little. August, you ask? For reals people. I like my little banner up top and yes, you see it correctly, that is a counter to Halloween. Hope its right, guess I'll know tomorrow when it says 1 of 3 things, either 82 which will put a sad face on me, 81 which will get a "Yippee I did it right!" or 83 which now I have just discovered how to make a timer go backwards and need to copyright that shit which will put the puzzled look on my face. Kind of like when you give a 3 yr. old a square block to put in a round hole, just like that face.
So get ready peeps :) If you have not witnessed my methods of madness. Go back to my October 2006 blog, well maybe November 2006, not sure when I posted those pics. Yeah, you know what? Try November, I'm going with November.
Anyone who knows me, knows I am seriously into Halloween. I am all about "doin' it up." I'm not sure whose house I will decorate this year, I have 2 options. In all seriousness though, I could (if I had the time) decorate both :) Oh yeah, I have that much stuff. I have also met my match. My new friend JW apparently loves All Hallows Eve just as much and has even rented a storage unit just for all her stuff. Okay! Jealous a little? HELLS YEAH! We're going to collaborate I think... should be *looks around* hellish...
So I thought I should decorate my blog a little. August, you ask? For reals people. I like my little banner up top and yes, you see it correctly, that is a counter to Halloween. Hope its right, guess I'll know tomorrow when it says 1 of 3 things, either 82 which will put a sad face on me, 81 which will get a "Yippee I did it right!" or 83 which now I have just discovered how to make a timer go backwards and need to copyright that shit which will put the puzzled look on my face. Kind of like when you give a 3 yr. old a square block to put in a round hole, just like that face.
So get ready peeps :) If you have not witnessed my methods of madness. Go back to my October 2006 blog, well maybe November 2006, not sure when I posted those pics. Yeah, you know what? Try November, I'm going with November.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
2 weeks in Hell
So yeah. I've been in a transition phase, well for these purposes that's what we'll call it. I've been moving a lot of stuff, reorganizing a lot of stuff and just doing A LOT of stuff. I have also had this pain in my shoulder building. Now when it started to affect my job, I learned to use my left hand more but when I went to pick up a small cylinder and there was the worst pinching/burning sensation I had ever felt and had to throw it across the room versus dropping it on my foot, I knew it was bad. I fought it for a week but never rested it. In stead, I thought cleaning out my friends garage by myself one morning was the best way to make it feel better or not so much.
Monday I came to work and my mobility was definitely in question. I made a doctors appointment for later that evening. I had obviously let it go too long as it was. I dreaded every moment until that doc appointment. I hate the doctor, they make my blood pressure rise, my heart race and I go pale. A good trick for any Mexican really. So the tiny Chinese Lady Doctor kicked my ass. She made my shoulder/arm do motions that someone should not have to do in my state. I went in there with a pain level of 4 and walked out about a 9. There was no way I could sit and it not hurt in some way. It was throbbing and I was miserable. She prescribed me some ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer for night time. She also told me, no sports for 2 weeks, no moving things and she tried to get me to take some time off work... yeah right. She was very specific on how my life can unfold in the next 2 weeks, none of the options I like but will deal with when the time comes. For now, I have pills and these nasty exercises she gave me.
So yeah. I've been in a transition phase, well for these purposes that's what we'll call it. I've been moving a lot of stuff, reorganizing a lot of stuff and just doing A LOT of stuff. I have also had this pain in my shoulder building. Now when it started to affect my job, I learned to use my left hand more but when I went to pick up a small cylinder and there was the worst pinching/burning sensation I had ever felt and had to throw it across the room versus dropping it on my foot, I knew it was bad. I fought it for a week but never rested it. In stead, I thought cleaning out my friends garage by myself one morning was the best way to make it feel better or not so much.
Monday I came to work and my mobility was definitely in question. I made a doctors appointment for later that evening. I had obviously let it go too long as it was. I dreaded every moment until that doc appointment. I hate the doctor, they make my blood pressure rise, my heart race and I go pale. A good trick for any Mexican really. So the tiny Chinese Lady Doctor kicked my ass. She made my shoulder/arm do motions that someone should not have to do in my state. I went in there with a pain level of 4 and walked out about a 9. There was no way I could sit and it not hurt in some way. It was throbbing and I was miserable. She prescribed me some ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer for night time. She also told me, no sports for 2 weeks, no moving things and she tried to get me to take some time off work... yeah right. She was very specific on how my life can unfold in the next 2 weeks, none of the options I like but will deal with when the time comes. For now, I have pills and these nasty exercises she gave me.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Coming around...
My new work area. I've had to slim down and I like it. I've got quite the work force backing me. As you can see, I'm near ready to go. It's really exciting to sit down and feel so much flowing through me. I can't remember feeling like this for some time now.
My new work area. I've had to slim down and I like it. I've got quite the work force backing me. As you can see, I'm near ready to go. It's really exciting to sit down and feel so much flowing through me. I can't remember feeling like this for some time now.
My first victim. One of my favorite prints from the Arboretum. Sadness! The color pencils didn't work out so great but the color stix are awesome! Yay for color stix!
The red was fun, these make shading really easy. Hard to see in this pic, I'll have to get a little work lamp for my desk to show the colors better but for now, I know it looks cool.
The orange is kinda hard to see but it's there.
You can see the orange a little better but the light yellow is pretty tough to see. Looks much better live.
So with that little bit of color it really makes the flowers jump off the print. I was near tears at one point because I hadn't felt such pure happiness in a long time. All of it felt so natural and simple and nothing was clouding my mind. I didn't feel so stressed out. As the days go on and I get more settled in and organized, it's getting easier to just plop down and think of things to create. I even carry a sketch book with me now in the car, things are fleeting from my soul. I haven't felt like this since Molly. I'm not sure why her death was so hard for me but some part of me disappeared when she stopped walking on this Earth.
Yes I know you can do this in photoshop or whatever digital thingie you like to use. Seeing as how I still use film, this form of art suits me just perfectly. This is a lost art, most people haven't even heard of doing such a thing. I'm starting at this point and will move on to painting with oils on the pics. I'm really looking forward to that, the colors on those will be quite vibrant but for now I'm enjoying the subtlties of what the color stix can do.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Misconceptions
So I've been thinking a lot lately about decisions I've made. Tough as they may have been I think I deserve to be happy. Now most people who say they care about you usually make some attempt to say, "well all I want is for you to be happy." As most of us very much know, that is a load of crap. It is what it is. I'm not happy therefore I hope the bowels of hell draw you in and make you watch me in my infinite happiness that ultimately I WILL have.
Enter the term Karma. I know it all too well. Now here is where my title comes in. Karma is not your act of vengeance but the total effect of a person's actions and conduct during phases of the person's existence which ultimately are regarded as determining a person's destiny.
Layman's terms: if you do something with pure evil intent behind it, you will in turn define your own destiny to turn out the same.
So if someone is unhappy, I mean genuinely not happy and hurting inside from lying to themselves for so long and living someone else's dream, how does that become fair that vengeance be cast upon them but have karma (which they actually live by daily) be used against them?
I know some of you believe Karma will be returned to me in some way, shape or form. I say to you, call it what it is and that be vengeance. I'm sorry you chose to live with such heavy thoughts and if you really want such a thing, be careful what you wish for, I could be gone in an instant... and then you got what you wanted or did you?
So I've been thinking a lot lately about decisions I've made. Tough as they may have been I think I deserve to be happy. Now most people who say they care about you usually make some attempt to say, "well all I want is for you to be happy." As most of us very much know, that is a load of crap. It is what it is. I'm not happy therefore I hope the bowels of hell draw you in and make you watch me in my infinite happiness that ultimately I WILL have.
Enter the term Karma. I know it all too well. Now here is where my title comes in. Karma is not your act of vengeance but the total effect of a person's actions and conduct during phases of the person's existence which ultimately are regarded as determining a person's destiny.
Layman's terms: if you do something with pure evil intent behind it, you will in turn define your own destiny to turn out the same.
So if someone is unhappy, I mean genuinely not happy and hurting inside from lying to themselves for so long and living someone else's dream, how does that become fair that vengeance be cast upon them but have karma (which they actually live by daily) be used against them?
I know some of you believe Karma will be returned to me in some way, shape or form. I say to you, call it what it is and that be vengeance. I'm sorry you chose to live with such heavy thoughts and if you really want such a thing, be careful what you wish for, I could be gone in an instant... and then you got what you wanted or did you?
Universe is on your side...
I got one of the most alarming txts ever yesterday. Without spilling too much of someone elses life on my blog, a threat was made, court executed and then revoked because other said party was a fucking idiot.
The amount of hate and discrimination in this world sometimes disgusts me so much to the point it makes my soul ache. How can someone that is caring and continually trying to do the right thing, be put in such shitty situation after shitty situation?
I can only believe maybe the universe is testing his will and showing him if you can get through this, you truly can get through everything. So far I've been right. I only want him and his daughter to find happiness in life. So congrats to you both, I'm glad you still got to enjoy your nightly walk.
Your bond is as strong as you will it to be, no one can take that away from you. Regardless if you're in the same house or miles away. Never forget that.
I got one of the most alarming txts ever yesterday. Without spilling too much of someone elses life on my blog, a threat was made, court executed and then revoked because other said party was a fucking idiot.
The amount of hate and discrimination in this world sometimes disgusts me so much to the point it makes my soul ache. How can someone that is caring and continually trying to do the right thing, be put in such shitty situation after shitty situation?
I can only believe maybe the universe is testing his will and showing him if you can get through this, you truly can get through everything. So far I've been right. I only want him and his daughter to find happiness in life. So congrats to you both, I'm glad you still got to enjoy your nightly walk.
Your bond is as strong as you will it to be, no one can take that away from you. Regardless if you're in the same house or miles away. Never forget that.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
And so it begins...
In moving forward sometimes you don't think about what's left behind.
Future = Forward
In order to begin again, constantly revisiting old wounds and trying to retear them open just prolongs the inevitable and quite possibly pushes away any normalcy that could be with others in the future.
Two paths once on the same road. One thought this shortcut was the way to go and the other wanted the scenic route. Hoping they would eventually meet up, one made it to where the roads met and the other did not.
Question is this: does she wait or does she go on...
In moving forward sometimes you don't think about what's left behind.
Future = Forward
In order to begin again, constantly revisiting old wounds and trying to retear them open just prolongs the inevitable and quite possibly pushes away any normalcy that could be with others in the future.
Two paths once on the same road. One thought this shortcut was the way to go and the other wanted the scenic route. Hoping they would eventually meet up, one made it to where the roads met and the other did not.
Question is this: does she wait or does she go on...
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
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