6ws:

"Sway to the Rhythm of Love"

~gifted by my cutie little friend Ceej from a song~

What if you only had 24 months (at best) left with someone?

I find it hard to not feel blessed even on the days that start and end craptastically as of late. How, you ask? I think back of the battles of the past year, foremost on that list? My momma. I've been gifted her for many more years... her odds people, were as low as 15%, with 6 months to 2 years at best if it wasn't gone. How can I not be grateful, even on the crappy days, after being gifted something so wonderful?

I know that each person has their own "demons" to deal with on a daily basis. I'm not saying any one persons problems are less than another's either. When you're in that moment of what ever personal hell that is... no one can talk you up but you.

My purpose of my post falls along the lines of, it could always be worse. Most everyone I know is struggling right now and not just financially. Sadly, financial burden tends to heavily affect our emotional states. So while you sit here reading these words, know that I'm here for you. I'm one short laugh away... for you. Always.

6WS:

"Maybe true once upon a time"

Gifted 6WS:

"Kiss and Hug Your Dyke... often."


~I found this on my to do list for this weekend. Wicked Cute... this is the kinda stuff I love and look forward to.~

The Infamous September 22nd & the gift of peace given to my family

Today while I work, I hear the chime of "front door." Nothing unusual there till I start to head to the front and see my mom's car in the window. I had no idea what she could be doing there and then I saw her... tear's streaming down her face. I was mortified. I knew her results were coming in soon to know if she was completely cancer free. She looked at me, eyes all red and said, "Looks like you're stuck with me. How does it feel to have a cancer free mom?" We wrapped our arms around each other and cried and cried. My aunt and my dad came in shortly behind her.

I can't believe it. I mean I kept every ounce of positive I have had left for her. I've been battling my own demons for some time but I REFUSED to let those emotions fall into her positive thoughts needed to get through this. I still feel like it didn't happen, like that was a dream. I'm sure as the days pass and she continues to grow stronger, it will sink in. She's been starting to get on me about things again. I never thought I'd say this but I'm glad she'll be around to nag me for years and years to come :o)

So after all the mushy hugs and loves, I asked her what her plans were for the day, she smiled so big and said, "We're going to Eagle Mtn. Casino!" I just laughed, it's like her own Disneyland.

What a most Wonderful day... such a gift, the gift of health, my mom, love, life, family... just magic for us.

Disneyland and the Halloween Gift

So after months of trying to go to Disneyland, we finally made our way to the Magic Kingdom after a short trip to LAX to drop Cristi off for her 10 day stint in Louisiana. We entered the gates right after 10:am, we stopped at Target to get some pants for Blayzz since it was much cooler than expected, then we sat in the parking lot while Tee caught up on her Facebook. I was 10 minutes from Disney and she had to "like" stuff first LOL

We had plans, Blayzz and I were heading to the lockers while Tee went to get fast passes for Space Mtn, then we were gonna meet at Indiana Jones (the direction of Haunted Mansion huge giddy girlie squeals here). Well that was a HUGE bust, the lockers were temporarily closed while a suspious bag was being checked out. We head to Indiana Jones and it's shut down temporarily... wow. Off to PotC I tried to skip it but it didn't work LOL I'm sorry, my feet were ready for HM. Love me some Pirates! Then to HM with all the Nightmare Before Christmas decorations in tact. The new gingerbread house was awesome, love the hidden Mickey spiderweb plates on the table... can we go again? lol Off to Splash Mtn... holy crap we got soaked! We zig zagged all over the park. They wanted to get on some Big Kid rides at DCA so I flew solo for awhile shopping. It was awful. I had to talk myself out of purses, I bought a super cute dress, scarf, bracelet and a few other trinkets. I tried to meet them at DCA to ride soarin' but there was a parade and I was stuck... so I shopped some more LOL

They had a special Halloween reusable bag that I HAD to have. I finally got up to the Emporium on Main street and found one there. I put all my bags in it and was happy to lug that around. My last purchase before heading to DCA was a Halloween Ghost bucket of popcorn, love it. They had them up front so I popped in a long line since as far as I could tell, that was the only cart that had them. In front of me, stood a mom and daughter. I was texting when the daughter tapped my arm asking where I got my super cute Halloween bag. *gasp* An admirer of all things Halloween! YAY :o)

She had this cute little gleam in her eye as she asked me where I got my bag. I pointed to the Emporium and her reply was a very sweet thank you. She continued to play patty cakes with her mom and asked if she could, please please have one. I'm not sure if she was autisic or which handicap she had but she was so super sweet. Her mom kindly explained to her that she had been bought lots of goodies that day and that it would give her something to look forward to the next time they came. The girl took the news very well that she would Not be going home with a Halloween bag. I had watched many kids that day have meltdowns over "I want, no you can't have it" scenarios. I'm not saying all special needs kids are prone to being over dramatic and having huge tantrums but it IS very common and that is a fact. I was VERY impressed by this girl. My guess was she was about 13-15 years old.

I stepped out of line, ran to the Emporium in hopes I could get her a bag and get back to the line before they left. I grabbed the bag, found a checker with no one in it and ran back out. They still had like 7 people in front of them. I tapped the mom on the arm, said "I think she needs to have this. I love Halloween too and I can tell she does too. Please enjoy and have a great rest of the night." I walked off to get back at the end of the line. About 5 mintues later they came back to the end of the line and the mom said, "she really wants to give you a hug and say thank you. I still can't believe you did that for her and I can't thank you enough." Those 2 hugs made Disneyland THAT much better. I couldn't stop smiling.

Remember friends: It really is about the little things...

Complimentary Poem - To: Me
(thank you for the amazing words dear friend)

"You are so brave, every time you make art you are brave
Every action you put out into the world is brave
Loving someone who you worry may not be capable of returning that love is brave.
You inspire the love that you want in your life and that's amazing!
And you don't even realize that you do it."

Why Communication is Key

So after my pitiful last blog, I got the "sign" I needed from the Universe. I got my glimpse, first hand, from mouth, no guessing. It was a little struggle getting there but after I figured out what was bothering me and more importantly how to correctly portray it into words, I haven't stopped smiling since.

See, that old saying "I can't fix it if I don't know what's wrong." Well, once I conveyed it... she fixed it. Sometimes people don't even realize they are or are not doing something. This is why words are so important.

Smiles upon smiles, caring upon caring... yeah, that's where we lie. "Loving what we have together" some beautiful words, aren't they?

Holding Back, Sitting, Wondering, Waiting... but for how long?

I had an interesting conversation today with a friend about being in an "abyss" of a relationship. It got me to thinking (big shocker, right?) about her situation, my situation, some other people's situations.

How long can one hold back how they truly feel, hoping the other person may come around? And haven't we learned that if someone isn't "in it" they probably won't ever be? What an absolutely horrible sentence to have typed. I think some more of my romantic side just died. Did I, ME, just really type that? And more importantly, leave it? I know how to test if I really believe this... music. Songs will either confirm that I'm losing faith or they will confirm that I still believe in "happily ever afters." The drive home should be interesting.

Hmm. That's all I really have, is hmm.

Updating: Later - 3:55pm

We've been swapping emails all day about the situations at hand. She showed me her "halfassed" attempt at romance and I started crying wishing for something like that... what in the what is that? I can't get outta my head that if that's her "halfassed" attempt... well SHEESH! Just in a moment I guess, she gave me some good reminders as well. Interesting day to say the least. *laughs while shaking head*

*sits back and looks around*
Dear Universe, if you could take a nanosecond to show me some more of the romantic side of people, I could REALLY use that today. Thank you.

Signed, hopeful-ish

Glimpses

As I look around, the Universe has decided to take a moment to spotlight something for me. Romanticized love acts. The ones that I fantasize about, the ones I wonder if they actually still exist, the ones that, time and time again, just seem to only occur in movies.

They are small things, almost unnoticeable if I wasn't paying attention. Today's highlight came from a Facebook blog from geocaching about people proposing at geocaches, creating some travel bugs dealing with love and just overall cuteness that makes you tilt your head and say aww. There was even a bit of warmth in my heart.

Thank you Universe, for giving me that glimpse today...

6 Word Story:

Sometimes a moment is just... that.

Life

Life is filled with a lot of repeats. We find ourselves back in the same situations, time and time again, swearing from the last time we'd never be back "here" again. Thinking about this makes me think that "comfort" in a situation has a lot of pull and puts us where we think we'll be safest.

So how adventurous are we if we hold ourselves back? Hide from what we really want? Keep someone just far enough out of reach?

How do we change this cycle?