Friday, July 30, 2010

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Riddle Me This: Art List Style

So I have a lot I would like to accomplish. I've decided this blog will be about what I need to finish in the coming weeks with deadlines and such. I will tag this so I can reference it as it moves down the list. Wish me luck and Watch me do it!

Caffeine Supreme - Set up some paintings & VOW's prints: August 7th 9:am-2:pm (maybe)

Vessels - Bakersfield Museum of Art Drop: August 9th & 10 9:am- 4:pm

Kern County Fair - Entry Forms Due: August 13th

Aluminum Heart - San Joaquin Valley Hospital 100th Gala Event Due: August 13th

Bicycles as Transportation - Kern Transportation Due: ???

Kern Valley Festival - Due: ???

Kern County Fair Photos Due: September 14th

Kern County Fair Baked Stuff Due: Still not sure I'm up for this, we'll see.

Burn the Witch VI/Spotlight Theater Drop: Nov. 1st (Opening Nov. 6th)

Oildorado - Octoberish

Theme, Open - Juliana's Art Studio/B.E.C.A. Group Show Drop: TBD (Opening Oct. 16th)

Opposites - Micro Gallery Drop: December 10

Color Me Mine Projects on Hold:
~Cess Platter
~Sunset/Night Bank
~Gnome

Glass Projects on Hold:
~Dark Tinted Vase
~2 mini wine bottles
~1 regular wine bottle for Adam
~1 glass jar

Misc. Tree other paintings...

*phew*!!!
The Fluttering that Ensues & First Kisses

So I'm sitting at work (big surprise) and taking care of some billing. I'm multi-tasking on Facebook as well. <-- another big surprise. Anywhoodle, for what ever reason I start reminiscing first kisses, well, truth be told, one in particular.

We were standing there and kept having those "long look into my eyes" moments. Then the awkward smile and a quick change of subject. We went round and round this way for quite some time. She finally looked at me and put her hand in mine and said, "I want to kiss you but I want it to be just right and I don't think tonight is the night."

I smiled, a little bummed but completely understanding about it wanting to be just right. She asked me what I thought about that and I simply replied, "I'm always so nervous about the 1st kiss, it tells so much and I always over think it... " by this point I'm rambling. She smiled so cutely at me and before I knew it, she picked up my hand to her lips, kissed it (you can't see this but I'm looking at the spot on my left hand right now) and said, "There. Now we've had our 1st kiss."

One of the sweetest things ever... it was soft and sweet and as sincere as a gentlemyn opening a door for a lady. Quite unforgettable indeed. I thank you for that 1st kiss. I'll always keep that one close.

Monday, July 26, 2010

6ws:

"Waking up is the hardest part"

Thanks for spinning this and giving me my smile, Tee.
Sidebar:

I've just realized, I'm blocked from writing 6ws. I haven't posted one since she told me. Nothing has inspired me. Looks like my muse is a little heart broken too...

Friday, July 23, 2010

"When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way,
implicitly and unquestionable."
I read this, and it struck something in me. I'm sure this is part of the pain I'm feeling right now. The pain of someone close to you going away. I've been spoiled by our closeness and as it seems odd that it will be gone for a time being, I have to remember, it's not permanent. I think somewhere in my thinking, I forgot that one single fact. Also, it's not forever.

I will be left to my artistic devices, my creative flow, my ability to set up "my way." I'm beginning to wonder if 30 days will be long enough to get everything done that I want. *laughs and smiles quite a lot at the idea of this*

I believe in something, implicitly and unquestioning... it's a nice feeling, I'm going to hold this close on the 'tough' days. They can't all be hearts & rainbow sprinkles but I'm ready to try :o)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

NanoWriMo Facebook Challenge

I love this idea of this challenge. Today they put out a mini challenge. It was fun. All you had to do was click on the Random.com link to generate a random number from 1-100. Then you had to post a story with the number given. I was given 8. Here was my story:

"The beginning. Words in the middle. The End."

It just popped right into my head. I'm kind of in love with it. AND people keep clicking the "Like" button on it which is wicked cool.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Compliment

Mary gave me one of the most wonderful comments I've ever received:

"You remind me of a Disney character."

Talk about absolutely making my heart all a twitter, so cute. Thank you so much for that.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

And she said to me in the smallest of voices, "Please keep me."

My heart literally skipped a beat and melted all in one swoop. My response was led with a smile and the words that escaped my lips to reassure her, "As long as you'll let me." A kiss to seal it and make me fall just a little more for her.

My hand went naturally on top of her heart and lightly started to pitter-pat, pitter pat. Feelings are running deep, deeper than even I realized.

~exert from: Double Crossing

Monday, July 12, 2010

Heart Strings

My mom called me just a little while ago. I haven't seen her in over a week. I've been tired and working a lot. I was further behind on my job then even I truly realized. My thoughts that I was getting close to being caught up were quite false. I had piles of back work in different places. Much of it just takes time, time that I don't really have. Each day I have a plan but that basically gets blown to bits within about 2 hours of arriving at work. There is just a multitude of things going on around here and even though I had a very gracious reprieve with all things that went on with my mom... well that reprieve is gone now. Now I need to deal with all things that have been put off. I don't mind doing it, don't get me wrong. These guys have done SOOO much for me over the years, it's truly amazing. I am ready to step up now that my head is back on straight and get this all fixed. The problem is my sanity. I have to let go of all the fun stuff to get this stuff done. I feel like I'm starting to fail my friends and I don't like that at all. I miss having fun and not feeling guilty about it. Hopefully, that last incident on Saturday night will be the last mishap of that kind.

So topic at hand, my mom. She called to see how I was doing. She knew I was busy and said she misses me a lot. *insert tears here* However, at the same time, she said it can be hard to see me because she feels like she isn't who I need her to be anymore. *insert most horrible feeling ever* If in any way I've conveyed a look of sadness toward her, well that feels so unforgivable. Yeah, it's hard to see her so feeble but she isn't a failure to me. I don't hold any ill feelings to her. *hangs head*

So far, it's a rough start to another week. I do NOT want a repeat of last week. I mean I had some amazing pick me ups. Teri, you absolutely saved me so many times, I can't even imagine how much worse it could've been if you hadn't been naturally, wonderful you. I'm enjoying getting to know you. Thank you, once again. I feel like I should have a blinking neon sign that just says Thank You over and over.

My mom invited me to dinner tomorrow night. She said "I'd really like to see you. I know you're really busy and I'll understand if you can't but if you can find some time, that would be great." *sinking, awful feeling here* If I can find time for my mom (family)? Where the F*#& have my priorties gone? I've become way too obsessed with work. I forgot how to "leave it at the office." That will change, starting today.

*jumps at Balance* I'm on it. Gonna find a good place to be again, I miss it and I'm looking forward to walking it, side by side this time...

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Monday, July 05, 2010

A New 4th of July

I know the only constant in life is change. It's a hard but true fact. I've been spoiled for 32 years of a constant. I say I embrace change and doing things outside of my box but I'm beginning to see that I only did that on a light level. My mom has always made sure that no holiday goes unnoticed and without some kind of party. 4th of July is the first of these trials. There wasn't the 30+ family, pool party, gaming extravaganza that usually would occur. My mom wanted nothing. She is on an up but still not ready for something of that magnitude. My bestie and my God-daughter were also not here... life just caught up with them and I won't see them till Christmas, hopefully. I'm going to try to get out there in the fall, I'm dying inside a little without K.C. I miss her terribly and even though we pick up the phone more, I really do miss her being a short drive away...

Tee's family has adopted me whole-heartily and it still amazes me. It's such a great feeling to feel so welcome. Her sister and b/f made some amazing food. It always feels so good to be within their presence. I love the teasing, the smiles and the stories. I'm blessed by them over and over. Playing Scene it and winning by a spread of 50,000 points with Tee as my partner wasn't too bad either *giggles* Desserts were shared and it was just an overall great time.

There was still this little part of me that wonders if holidays will ever be the same again. Not that I don't appreciate or absolutely love where I was because I did (reread above if you think otherwise). I'm wondering about the holiday of all holidays though... the one thing I've counted on since I was 10. I knew this year would be different anyway with friends having gone separate ways but the idea of the night before All-Hallows-Eve not occurring almost makes me not look forward to my pride of every year... Halloween. The night before is just as pivotal as the actual night itself. There is this tiny part of me that prays with everything I have that she'll still want that day... please oh please, let her want that day again... because if anything could truly break my heart, her saying she can't do it anymore, would definitely be the thing that would do it. The planning we do, the laughs we share, the memories I thrive on making... would be no more. I'm sitting here in tears at the very idea of that not happening... I have to stop for now.

Saturday, July 03, 2010