The Snarky Cover Letter

To whom it may or may not concern:

I have applied for 18 jobs, gone on 6 interviews and now work 15 hours at a book store where my supervisor thinks he is the end all of all things concerning anything in the written form from the beginning of time. I currently make $8.00 an hour and while enjoying a local carnival I realized the monkey's that dance by the vendors make better money than I do and they only have to work a few nights a week and not even every week. Not that I have anything against monkeys but I never thought I'd be envious of free room and board with all the bananas you can eat for free. You have to admit, it's tempting but I digress.

For the love of all that is holy, give me a shot and I'll impress you down to your socks. At this point I have nothing else to lose so I thought I'd just be brutally honest and hope that you can respect that. Thank you and have a great day.

Thank you for reading most of this,
Alix R.


Alix asked my "professional" opinion on what to put on a cover letter for a job she is applying for. The above was my answer. I mean basically they hire some cheesehead who doesn't know jack shit so they can pay them nothing or hire family so why the fuck not have a little fun right? The worst that happens is they think you're damn funny and you get a cool boss with a kick ass sense of humor.

After she was done laughing hysterically, she told me I should blog it, so "wah-la!" :)