Everyone Falls

I'm not sure why, I'm not sure where it started or how many times I've heard it but I love the idea of it. Depending on your preconceived notions of when you read the title you are about to learn something about yourself very quickly. Did you think: oh no, she has fallen in some way in life or did you think of how I could have fallen in love with someone or something? And HONESTLY thinking of the first thought you had when you read the title you now know if you are an optimist or pessimist in life right now. So maybe you've fallen by the wayside and need to find your way out... on to my blog.

On one hand, one consistently hears of how she "fell in love at first sight." Or how she's "falling in love with her soul mate." This can mean so many different things from one person to the next. Everyone falls in love with someone or something. The hard part sometimes is that people can't distinguish between falling in love to falling in lust. Love is ever-lasting and even when it gets tough you can find your way back up, together. One of the many advantages to having a loving partner. Now falling in lust... well, that's tricky and its course also runs differently from person to person. After the mad-crazy sex, secret encounters and 1st time I've done thats have run their course, the true part of the relationship rears itself. Does that mean lust will ultimately lead to disaster? If you ask me, I say no but that's the optimist in me. There is just that part when you feel yourself falling for someone. And why do they call it falling? Why can't it be swooshing or cracking for someone? Who thought that you had to "fall?" Is it the idea of dropping to your knees, lowering your head and thanking the universe for this gift bestowed before you... the idea that you have to lower yourself to completely give yourself over to this person? Not really sure and I'm not looking for answers. Just seems like the more I talk to people or hear of things going on around me, I wonder what's next.

*wiggles other hand* and then there's this hand. *shakes head*

On the other hand, some people fall. Emotionally is what I'm speaking of here. Sometimes this can be a reflection or type of collateral damage from the above type of falling if the lust does where off sadly. It can also be that time of life when things are changing. Growing pains one might say. Growing up, growing apart, growing toward different goals. The hard part is taking that step to say, this is enough and I need something different. It's almost like saying you lost or you quit and for me, I hate losing... ANYTHING EVER! I have to win, I have to be right, I won't fail... losers fail and I'm not a loser. (I'm not saying that's true for everyone, that's my sick mentality from being such a competitive person but I'm working on it.) I tend to fall really hard when it does finally come to that point. I let it get so far and ignore it for so long that when I finally realize what is happening it literally slaps me in the face and I'm standing there blinking, a lot. I also am very open to these sad/displaced moments now. If I need to feel sad, I embrace it. I'll cry for days on end, alone at work, alone in my car, alone at a park... I'll listen to the saddest music I can find, I'll wear the same clothes day after day. I eat cereal for meals when I choose to eat. I let it consume me. And do you know what happens within a few days... I feel better. I let everything out and I deal with it and I move upward, steadily. Then, when I step back outside with a bright yellow shirt on, some gel in my hair and some body spray that reminds me of the beach, it's like I'm seeing that tree outside my apartment for the first time with all its blooms and watching the leaves sway in the breeze. So when I take that first step, I can't help but smile.

So everyone falls. You're not alone and sometimes... well sometimes you just have to swim in the bad stuff to help you deal and move on to the good stuff. The trick is to not let the bad stuff consume you and stay there or keep going to the exact same place time and time again.

Yep *nods* Everyone Falls...