Long Beach Pride

I'm still amazed at the entire weekend.  Roomie's sis' is an amazing person, her generosity would make any person speechless and left with a sense of awe.  There is a more specific thing that happened though, she reminded me what it was like to smile again and not feel guilty about it.  I laugh a lot, I put on a great front, hell before said illness with my mom, I was the poster child for turning ANY situation positive.  Some times, I even annoyed myself with it.  

My giggles, my smiles come with a cost now.  Guilt.  Not that anyone has imposed this on me, this is purely self-inflicted.  Afterall, we are our own worst enemy.  I laugh for this minute but it's always just a matter of time before my mind travels to my moms side and knows that she is battling something at that very moment; nausea, vomiting, trying to eat actual food, walking... you get the idea.  So how dare I enjoy myself or laugh when she is going through a life-changing fight for her life?  HOW?

I was introduced to Segways this weekend.  I have to say, if I owned one of those, I'd probably never walk or run again.  They are amazingly fun and are better than driving.  Riding them along the beach was fantastic, the fresh salty wind blowing in my face, surrounded by great company and listening to my iPod in one ear.  Somewhere in that moment I realized that the world really does keep spinning even though you might be at a place where your feet feel cemented to the ground.  AND as the world keeps moving, you really need to too, if you don't, you've stopped living life and what a waste that is.

So I was given more than just an awesome weekend out of town, I was given some of what makes me, well me back.  To that, I'm grateful beyond words.  But, Thank You none the less...

Here is what mused from you CS:

We must keep breathing, 

even when it hurts.

We must keep moving, 

even when we want to lay down

We must keep smiling,

even when we just want to cry.

We must keep giving our all,

even when we want to quit.

We must keep talking

even when we want to bury it deep inside.

We must stay strong, not just for ourselves but also for those around us,

even when ignoring what is happening appears easier.

We must keep loving,

even when staying alone seems safer.