Help

Lucky enough we have some very good supporters of our efforts in losing weight: My parents.  Now don't get me wrong, Alix's parents are also very supportive.  After all, her mom is the one who sent us the check to pay for this contest and buy our new shoes for gym :)  My parents just happen to be on the side of providing healthy meals too.  Sunday nights have been somewhat altered but are still in tact and the house is loaded with healthy food and snacks.  It's awesome!  We have also added Tuesday night dinners and then we go work out afterward while watching the biggest loser from 8 to around 9:30pm.

My mom wants to lose about 15lbs and my dad wants to get back in shape so they don't mind doing this at all.  It's all food they are going to eat anyway and they know how expensive healthy food is so they are happy to help us out.

I'm grateful for all the support we are getting.  It's only making this easier and keeping me more determined.  I just need to push myself harder at gym.  My muscles don't feel as tired as I know they should.  After last weeks mini session with the trainer, I know I'm capable of much more.  I just have to put things in perspective while I'm at the gym.

Last night was a good start.  We walked for 45 minutes, always with a minimum incline of 3 and at least 2.7 speed.  I'm trying to make it faster but that bone spur in my heal makes that a little tricky.  Then did 15 minutes on the elliptical which is FINALLY getting easier.  I was bummed that we had already worked out an hour and it was time to go.  Tuesdays are definitely my favorite nights to workout, they go REALLY fast. :)

1st Weigh In

I knew this would be tough.  This thing is no joke.  There are 315 of us and I had a good weigh in but it wasn't great.  Unfortunately, I chose to get sick this past week and that hindered a lot of my plans for gym but I was lucky enough to work through it.  I need to put up some big numbers to stay in.  1st prize--- $15,000.00 And just like most people, I could REALLY use that money.  There are some other great gifts too but money... well money is money.

So I'm 2.6% down, let's see what I can pull off since we get a bye on next week's weigh in.  I hear the 2nd week is the toughest and I'm not doubting it at all.  I have 13 days to go and I really need to step it up.  The trainer almost killed us last week, we need more nights like that.  I could barely walk for 2 days.  I'm still feeling it alittle today but it is definitely better.

Making decisions

So as previous January's, I am doing ratings for a local softball group.  They have added, yet another, day to the rating schedule.  We're up to 7 days total now.  When I first started doing this, it was 4.  I am in charge of rating every pitcher and catcher that goes through there.  From 8 to 15 years old.  It's a process.  A quick one now that I perfected it and know the levels expected at each age group.  They get a little more competitive the younger they are... it's almost crazy.

Last nights festivities involved me rating a few girls in the cold, cold air.  Being sick, probably not my best idea but I did it anyway, then went to the gym afterward.  I feel like I want to die today.  I just need sleep and a lot of it.  Weigh in is in 2 days and I need to lose a good amount.  I'll be devastated if I get booted in the first weekend.  I'll be glad when these ratings are over, my weekends will be so much better.

Eating is tricky on a schedule like the one we have right now.  Thankfully, subway is a savior and it really is about what you choose to put in your mouth.  Food is Fuel and nothing else.  We don't need french fries or double bacon cheeseburgers.  We need fuel to help our bodies move effectivly.  The one thing you have to watch when eating out, healthy or not is sodium  Processed foods, the more I read, are gnarly full of sodium and sugars.  Think about what goes in your mouth and what its actually doing to your body.  You may not enjoy it as much as you think you do.  Time for rest :)

Hello 2010

So 2009 was good.  Hopefully, Alix and I can make 2010 great.  Happenings in 2009 should lead to the greatness that will be 2010.  Alix has gotten a big kid job and is succeeding at it quite well as she is on to her 2nd promotion and is now full time.  I couldn't be any prouder of her than I already am.  Catching up from all the bills of when we were struggling will take some time but that's okay.  We'll work it out, we always do.

Cake decorating & baking is awesome.  It was all consuming and as with most things I start it was my complete passion and there wasn't much else.  I'm still looking for things I want to try and any reason to bake but it's slightly on hold for now.  We have our biggest commitment yet.  We are in a contest to be the biggest loser in Bakersfield.

In December I started cutting things out to make January 2nd not seem too bad.  I can't imagine going through caffeine withdrawals, eating healthy, no fast food, very little sugar and no sodas from one day to the next.  It made the transition really easy and for once, I planned ahead and it did pay off like I hoped.  So most of my posts will be about this journey/adventure and the trials to get from my current weight to 199 as soon as I can.  I really have no idea the last time I was under 200 but my best guesstimate is 1997, give or take a year.

All those weird feelings and the tiredness, that was all the crap I was eating.  I know better.  I really do.  I'm sad I let this happen but I'm not dwelling on it, I'm just fixing it and moving onward and upward.  Wish me luck :)

Some Fairy wine to share with the Lexi on New Years Eve.

Not sure what to do...

... but keep going and hope for the best.  It's an odd feeling to not feel welcome or liked.  To hear about things in random conversation, feel like you're not wanted.  It makes you feel like you've done something wrong, that you're not a good person.  I imagine this is how insecurity starts.  I have to say I'm just going to have to refuse to give in.  The insecurities around me are truly not mine, so I can not own them.  I don't like the blame getting cast upon me when it's not my 'mess' to begin with.  I ran into the first of this blame last week... imagine my shock.

I've been blessed enough to reconnect with a friend who will whole-heartily be a help and a positive force.  I've emptied the cupboards.  Tonight, I'll hollow out more of the room and research and read more about foods.  I can't let this, this... what ever it is, take over. 

Cooking

I'm obsessed with the movie Julie and Julia.  I love the idea of it, it has so many of the things I love.  Cooking and Blogging and finishing something big... something that is out of your hands.  There are so many good one liners and it just makes me feel good.  I watch it at least once a day.  I hope that everyone has a movie that just 'makes you feel good.'

"Do you know what I love about cooking? I love that after a day when nothing is sure and when I say nothing, I mean nothing. You can come home and absolutely know that if you add egg yolks to chocolate and sugar and milk, it will get thick. It's such a comfort." ~Julie

It's going to get easier.

So I'm writing these to not only share what is going on but as a reminder of why I don't want to weigh this much or feel this badly anymore.  Today I had a migraine so annoying that my nose was sensitive to touch.  I thought I was over the caffine/sugar/fast food withdrawal.  Turns out, I'm not even close.  I didn't give in to the caffine but I did get some fast food for lunch.  My boss offered Carl's Jr. and I took it.  I felt so crummy, I just didn't care.  Guess what happened as I was stuffing my face with 1000 island dressing/cheesyburgery fatness?  My migraine disappeared.  I think I'm just going to have to suffer through these migraines and eventually, they will pass.  It's better to do this now before January comes.  Giving it all up at once might destroy my goal and cause a break down.

I have to say I feel even lower now that all it took was the endorphins of fattening food to get rid of that pain in my head  :(

It's all a learning experience.  It. Will. Get. Better.

Bakersfield's Biggest Loser

So one of the local gym's is having a contest.  15,000 in cash for 1st place.  I figure I have just as good a shot as anyone else.  I also believe, this is the kickstart I've been looking for.  Sadly, doing it for myself just doesn't seem to be enough... no matter how much I tell myself I want it.  *sigh*

On January 2nd it begins.  I've already gone through the caffine withdrawal from sodas and boy am I glad that's over.  Oh the migraines :(  I'm working on sugar next.  I like chocolate too much.  Fast food has been significantly cut back as well.  It's all gotta go, I'm just done.  Done I say!

2 fun party ideas but no house for them...

So I really want to host a cookie exchange, it would be fun.  I know it would.  Problem is, we don't have a house.  I also would love to have a vision board gathering for the upcoming New Year.  Again, no house. 

I have been bestowed the gift of loving to have people over and cook and bake for them but when you don't have a house, it does make that a little difficult.  My mom has an aunt that she talks about, always having people over when they were younger and my mom is the same way.  I love a house filled with laughter and good conversation.  We've just gotta save our pennies and hope the opportunity presents itself soon.

At least I know one item that is going on my vision board... a picture of a house that we can make our home. 

Been away... Ooops.

Alright, so I took an extended holiday from blogging.  Facebook seems to get all my 'updates' of sorts.  So lets see if I can get back to here.  October was ridiculous of course.  I was extra busy this year with baking and baking and then decorating.  It was madening and fantastic all in one.  I was actually able to go after Halloween shopping ala Lex's big kid job.  I got some really kick ass stuff so of course I'm super excited for next year.

Let's see, what else?  Went to the Teddy Bear Toss, that was super fun.  Had a very low key Turkey day, always enjoyable.  I decided to try my hand at NaNoWriMo in November and epically failed but that was probably a bad choice on my end with what I had going on.  I will still finish it but next year I'm in it to win it!  50,000 words in 30 days, it's fun and I met some really nice people.

A geocaching friend, Jenny, has a home business and has some other home business friends who get together and have a large bazaar party of sorts, inviting anyone and everyone into her home to shop, there were something like 12 vendors, including us :)  We set some candies, cakes, cupcakes, pretzels, all types of stuff out for display and we even took orders!  So December got a little busier and I'm excited.  5 years ago, I'd never have imagined this and I couldn't be happier if I tried. Pictures to post in the coming weeks.

We still have one more class to take but it's really not working with our schedule :\  Hopefully in February?  We plan on doing this local Biggest Loser contest so we'll see how that works out.  More to come on this after we sign up.

The reason I'm back here?  I saw a word and it annoyed my very core and I wanted to blog it.  Tweetup.  Oh yeah, apparently Tweeters of Twitter have Tweetups now.  *blink blink*  Yeah.  Are you freakin' kidding me?  That is all, for now :)

Vegan Battle turned into a War

So I've searched and read and asked questions and read and researched to read more about Vegan friendly foods and recipes.  Holy crap.  Anyone who chooses to eat this way amazes me to pieces.  I realize that some people have allergies and just can't eat a lot of things, that makes sense but to choose this lifestyle, kudos to you.

Battle one: No Sugar.  I realize there is vegan friendly sugars but I can't afford them because for whatever reason everything seems to cost about $5 a bag/box/sack/container.  So the 4 or 5 items I typically use to bake will now cost me $25 instead of $6.  Okay, I'm poor and have to pay bills, I don't have that kind of money.  Typically, we spend about $35 - $45 a week on ALL of our groceries.  I can't justify spending 1/2 of our grocery money on 5 items to make one thing.

Battle two: No Chocolate. $6.38 for a pound of vegan carob chips that taste like dirt with coffee.  Enough said.

Battle three: No Dairy. I found a dairy free cream cheese.  Don't ask, there is a lot of soybean in it and it looks like the medium gel I use to thicken my acrylics.  Kinda smells like it too.  I can't explain the film it leaves in your mouth.  If you know the episode of Friends where Monica has to make things with a prototype of a ingredient called Mocolate, then this is my Mocolate.  I used very little and a lot of every other thing I could and it still tasted really bad.

War Began about 4:50pm and ended about 5:55pm.  It was well fought on both sides.  Sometimes you just can't beat the bland and tasteless.  I added enough Pumpkin Pie Spice for 3 large pies.  I came at it from the East with about a 1/2 of cup of Karo syrup.  Then I called for reinforcements with some cocoa powder.  Nothing could break the barriers of that wall down and I just had to pull out the troops before they were all disposed of.  I know when to call it quits.  Was I mad?  HELL YES!  I lost a lot of good fighters but that was unforeseen and almost too dirty a fight to mess with.  I really had no idea what I was up against.

Vegan War Victorious... this time.

Cookie Cakes

So I found a group called 'Southern California Cake Club' and they have little workshops.  More social than formal which is pretty nice.  The one downside which isn't huge is that they are about an hour and 45 minutes away.  I do like driving and this isn't bad during the weekends but makes it kinda tough during a weeknight.  Last night we went there for a 'Cookie Cake' workshop.  No I don't know what this meant which is one of the reasons I really wanted to go.

Later, I saw that you make cakes out of cookies, so I thought you glued cookies onto actual cakes.  Nope, still wrong.  You actually take different size cookies and stack them on each other to resemble cakes with royal icing.  It was a lot of fun and really cute.  We got there kinda late and didn't get to make as many as everyone else but we still got 3 each which isn't too bad.  The funniest thing was there were still dozens and dozens of cookies but they were left on the counter... oops.  Anyway, we finished up about an hour and half later and got back on the road a lot earlier than planned so that was good.  We stopped at Coldstone for some ice cream and learned that we can't eat a whole one (of the small size even) and that we should share one as to not waste $9.  Oh well, it was a really fun night and I enjoyed myself.

This...

can turn a cake into this...

LOVE IT!

Crap.  I can't do a countdown very well :(

TOMORROW is the Graveyard Event!  Not on Saturday... I do NOT have 2 more days.  It's go time, YO!!!

2 more days

So I got 1 cake done last night... oops.  I really do plan on making up some serious time tonight.  I can stay up a little later since I don't work tomorrow, so that really should help.  My list includes but is not limited to:

- 2 batches of rice crispy treats

- 1 cake

- 2 batches of cake balls

- 2 batches of mini pumpkins

- mix 3 batches of punch/add labels

We'll see how far we can get.  I'm looking forward to it.  At some point, I forgot about this, I need to run to my moms to use her mixer and make a batch of icing too.  

The Countdown... 3 more days.

So Friday is a super cool, super fun event.  It is based on a book called; The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman.  My friend Jenn is coordinating the entire thing and we get to haunt and dance and eat.  I'm making some foods/desserts and am very excited but with most things I do, I am beginning to get a little nervous.  I want there to be plenty of food and my time schedule is always in conflict.  I like to think I'm 2 people so I tend to overextend myself.  Let's take tonight for instance, I was set to make 2 of the cakes for the bases of the cake balls and pre cut all the pumpkins for the Mini pumpkin pies, along with prepping a few other things for tomorrow night.  Jenn asked if anyone wanted to come help setup and without thinking, I replied, yes.  It's really hard to bake cakes when you aren't at home.  These are the things I need to remember.  It's okay though, it will all come together.  Rinse.  Repeat.  It will all come together :)

Regardless of my bad multi-tasking capabilities, I'm sure everything will work out fine.  *crosses fingers*

Fun People = Negative Space

It's really weird.  I learned something very interesting and although I'm not sure how it works, I thought I should blog about it.  I've met some very nice, funny, good hearted people.  Sounds nice doesn't it?  Turns out they carry a huge amount of negativity within them and it loomed over the house.  It may have been the inner conflict of many of the occupants that created the overall cloud of doom and gloom but it definitely stemmed from a lack of thought with 6 people living in 1 house... when technically it was suppose to only be 5 but whatever, I digress.

I really like them.  I promise, which is why this blog may seem strange.  I won't divulge scenarios or discussions that occurred because I wasn't around and don't know what really happened, nor is it really my business to do so.

When we came home last night, the house felt 'lighter.'  This was prior to me knowing that 2 occupants were no longer occupying the house.  As I do wish them the best, I'm glad the bad energy really is gone.  Maybe I'll feel a little more able to move around the house now.  It may be a rough week or so till they are really out but it's all on the downhill now and that's a nice thought.

Lesson learned for this situation: Good people don't always make good roommates.

Turning 29 on the 29th!!!

Happy Birthday Lexi!  Lex turned 29 in September.  We had a yummy dinner and a Giant Cupcake Cake for her birthday.  We also went to Disney as part of her birthday and for Gay Days at Disney, it was awesome.  Her bestie boy Spin flew in and it was fantastic!  We had a really good time and had to cut it a little short because of Lex's new job but it's a small sacrifice and it just gives us more reasons to get together more often :)

 The Haunted Mansion has been visited by Jack Skellington (my all time favorite) and I could just ride this over and over.

 

Oh the time has come, the walrus said...

These have been some wicked busy weeks.  Accerated cake class may not have been all it was cracked up to be at first mention.   As I do enjoy them, it was tough to have classes back to back like that.  I'm really looking forward to the lesiurely weekend class that is in November.  I also went to a workshop in Action, CA one Saturday afternoon to learn elegant cupcakes and some of the things you can do to make them really pretty.

Monday Night Football with the lesbians has also returned so I made some cupcakes with a nice 2 tone green to celebrate :)

We learned how to use and work with fondant in this last class.  She showed us different tools and mats to imprint in the fondant.  Techniques she uses to form fondant and such.  We made a single layer bridal cake on the 2nd night.

My super cool hair stylist asked me to make some cupcakes for her grandsons birthday.  They had a hot wheels/Nascar kinda theme to them.

Then our final night of fondant class we got to make a wedding cake.  I didn't get to spend near as much time as I would have liked but here's the base of it.  Of course it's Halloween inspired.

Here is the top.

Here is a close up of the bottom and the border.

Here is the whole cake.  I put Halloween M&M's in the pillars :)

 

Overall, I'm loving these classes and any technique or project I can get my hands on.  In a couple weeks, Lex and I are heading to a workshop on "How to turn cookies into cakes."  Yeah don't ask, I have no idea and that's what makes it so exciting.