Simply Put

I love simple things. They mean so much to me. Just makes me appreciate her even more...

Righting Wrongs... aka misunderstandings they are-a many!

So Monday night I went to a football party with some friends. I hadn't planned on it but by the request of a really awesome friend, I went and I'm glad I did. Our community is small enough that separating myself really isn't going to solve anything. The games were alright, the food was super yummy but the friends are what make it worth it. However, this is where the trouble began.

Funny how it works but some people you only see when football season comes around. Our city is big in some ways but tiny in so many as well. I'm sure this is typical in most LGBT communities but we're divided in about 4 groups. I worked really hard to mesh between 2 and have done a really great job, well so I thought.

I have been given the task to put on a Halloween party. Okay, threaten me with a great time! I have a plan. I will have lots of wonderful help and I'm even going to be given a budget. Everyone is very supportive. Well everyone but the people who were actually suppose to host the party and have for the past few years. When this idea was first brought up, it was immediately brought up that MCC (another group) needed to be contacted right away to see when their party was as to not conflict with it or step on any toes. My immediate thought was "why can't we combine the two?" Being that I am only a year into the "active" community I didn't ask, I still have a lot to learn and I'm just observing the dynamics still. Fast Forward to Monday Night when I was approached by 2 friends about the Halloween Party.

It was brought to my attention that we had squashed their party and they weren't even initially told, they found out through a 3rd party. Okay, shitty. AND I felt about this small .

Now they immediately said, they knew it wasn't my intention and I probably had no idea and by the look on my face they knew they were right. We talked it out and I apologized like a 100 times. I mean one of them really had their feelings hurt and I felt HORRIBLE about that.

I was trying to believe that there was some kind of miscommunication. After discussing it with Alix, we both thought it best, I shelf it for the night and think of a constructive way to handle this since a board meeting was the next night. GREAT ADVICE! I woke up feeling like it was time to handle my business and going to the gym before the meeting really helped me get my energy focused in a positive way. I decided that smaller was better and when I brought it up another person also had the same problem I did... what happened to the other party? After some great discussion and clearing up of A LOT of unanswered questions, it just wasn't voiced down to the right people in the right manner. So now that was cleared up but I wanted it more. *shocker, wiggles fingers* I asked, "is it possible to combine the two?" There was no resistance, no looks of horror. I explained that I would love to have a united front and combine crowds that might not normally do so. I'd like this to happen more often and I think this being such a "fun" event that this would be a great place to start. The idea was embraced and I was given reins to be the liaison between the 2. *all smiles* Part 1... DONE.

Part 2
Now I needed to contact my friends and see if they were honestly okay with the 2 combining. I called and explained EVERYTHING that had happened. My new intentions and what they thought. We discussed it and they were quite happy (well from what I could tell) and are looking forward to working together. I am also going to MCC's board meeting next week to present my ideas and start working with them on this. I was commended on my handling of situation and feel really good about how it turned out. *HUGE SMILES*

Now begin the plans, budgeting and making sure both parties stay happy and well communicated. Lots of notes and emails but I'm ready for it. This is what I do :)

So the lesson and advice here is: If you have a problem with someone/something or don't understand things that are going on, don't ask others "around" them, just go directly to the source and ask. You're going to get an honest answer and there is no guess work involved. The worst that happens is you find out the truth and there is nothing wrong with that.

My friend got me an alien that plays softball, I bet your friends don't get you cool stuff like that!

Remember the 11th of September... it's not about your petty fights or insignificant rants. Enjoy your life, enjoy your freedoms and enjoy the love of things and people that surround you.

Things to make you smile...

Fun txt I got today from a friend :)

"...one who lends her ears, wise beyond her years, helps to ease your fears. With a deep darke sayings ya know she way not playing, let out a yelp she there to help, love that many never have felt."

Forever Flowers

I love lilies of all sorts. So when I walked into her room, she had a card on the bed and some of the most beautiful flowers on my night stand with a hint of my fav color... hello purpley gorgeousness!

Welcome to California

So bringing the new girl into town is an event unto itself. It just so happened that Friday morning, the 31st, had a HUGE change of events. Magically Alix didn't have to move afterall and now had the entire weekend open... so by 3:00pm that afternoon we had her booked on a flight to be in BFL by 1:00am. SWEET! She was now going to be here for Pride and a little family gathering on Sunday.

I found us a hotel room for the weekend and put plans into motion. She was now going to be able to meet my friends... and my family. So far, all the family I have shared with have been very supportive of me. I'm lucky to have such an awesome family. I knew they would welcome her in the same way. Pride went off wonderfully, we had a great time and somehow, she got hooked into taking care of filler music between bands. Computers and music being her thing, she was pretty much at ease... once we got all our shit figured out :) Thanks again baby, everyone really appreciated it. She also helped me in the beer booth. That was fun within itself. It could have been 10 deg cooler but overall it was a great Pride and I can't wait to get started for next years :)

Sunday eve brought us to a small family bbq. I say small and that falls somewhere between 10-15 people. No big deal... well unless your family consists of 5. Alix walked in, smiled and I started to make the rounds with names. My uncle welcomed her in with a big hug, it was great and made me smile so big inside. We had a great time and she fit right in. My best friend of 16 years loved her and was glad to see me so happy, giving me 2 big thumbs up :)

*sigh* as always it went to fast but each time we get closer and it becomes more *wow.*

I look forward to all the "wows" of the future and key cards that won't work after one use... *wink* Thanks again baby.

The night air forced her to grab her coat and pull it a little tighter around her neck. Her breath laid a path before her to follow. The air was brisk and she could smell the rain coming in quickly. The storm was coming much faster than her computer led her to believe before she left for work. The delay at the train station didn't help much either. Tonight her walk seemed to be taking twice as long and she couldn't move her feet fast enough. There weren't many people out tonight but there were a set of steps that seemed to be keeping in good time with hers. Freakishly close, she tried to move a bit quicker and even cross the street to change it up a bit. This caused unsaid person to follow in suit. A bit of alarm came across her as if someone put a warm blanket around her. As she turned to see who was in persuit, she was greeted by a "umph" from a person. As she caught herself and looked up she saw a familar face.
"Hey what's your hurry?"
"I'm sorry but someone..." her voice trailed off as she turned around and no one was there.
"Someone... what?"
She knew that someone was right behind her, she could almost feel their breath they seemed so close. How could someone disappear like that? The eerie nights of October were making themselves quite apparent.

Fall, I welcome you and your eternal bond with unexplainable things and chills within the night. *mmm*

Free Range Chicken Salad Sandwich - $3.99
Organic Banana - $0.63
Soy Grape Juicy Thingie - $1.49
California Rolls - $2.89

Lesbian using PLASTIC to pay for her environmental friendly lunch: Priceless

A whole new scenery...

This is what you see from a 3 story apartment in a backyard in Somerville. You'd never see anything like this in CA. Everything is so stacked up and different. I'm looking forward to getting out more next time *giggles* Ah to really be happy... thank you

If you blow a kiss to someone far away does it touch the lives of everyone in its path or does it know whose lips to solely bestow itself on?

Bite Me

I'm just pissed off. I'm tired of my shoulder dropping me to the point of tears and nausea because the pain can be so intense with one minor move. It's been 2 fucking weeks and I can't hardly do anything. The biggest suck of them all, I can't do anything I really love, well except paint/color but athletically I'm out for the count...

I'm going to the batting cages tonight. I just don't give a fuck. It's going to hurt regardless... let's see what I can really do to agitate it. I'll deal with the aftermath tomorrow.

*deep breaths* So now almost 3 hours later and some gentleness like I've never experienced before, I'm not going tonight. I could delete the above and make this just all sappy and crap but I figure in order to learn, I need to leave it up there to remind me to not be so selfish and my actions effect others. A problem I've had and am learning how to handle with some very special help.

Everything will be ok if that's how you want it to be - just believe.

Leaps and Bounds

Flying has never been my thing. Tonight it really hit me. Plans have been made, steps are being taken and futures are falling into place. I did one of the biggest leaps of my life. I'm bound to find what I've lacked and been denied for so long. After some conversations and wonderful advice from many people, I know this path is the one that makes me happiest. Tonight a girl showed me something. Tonight I understood. In a few more moons... a new life starts. Welcome life...

*smiles*

"I fall so hard inside the idea of you, That’s why with you can say what I mean"

I really enjoyed watching people this trip. Watching them interact as couples, families and friends. I'm a voyeur by nature, anyone who knows me, knows this. It gives me ammo for all my artistic ventures, you never know when you need to pull something from the memory banks.

You've seen this pier 100's of times, you've seen the people playing volleyball, tanning, walking, enjoying their families... falling in love but have you really ever felt it... I mean looked around and think, "shit, I have it good and look at all the people I have to share this moment with?"

My advice is take that walk, grab that hand and kiss that person like you're back in junior high and it's the first kiss of your entire life...

I've had trips to the beach by myself before but this trip had a whole new outlook for me. It was based purely on searching for pictures to shoot for painting/artistic purposes. I wandered around, met some new people and just generally had a good time wandering free. Wandering seems to be what I do best. I enjoy it. Make sure you wander once in awhile, it does wonders for the mind and soul.

Grinding noises, teaching one self how to adjust and an update:

So it's been offically a week now since I went to the doctor. Saturday still had me VERY limited on what I can do. Putting on a back pack was quite an event. It involved me sitting on the bed, while balancing the back pack upright. sliding it through the injured shoulder first, then manuevering my left one to proceed in figuring out a way in. Don't ask about getting dressed, basically a lot of wincing and weird bending. Picking up a fork off the counter hurt like hell. It was like someone took a ice pick, wedged in between where my shoulder and arm connect and wiggle it back and forth so sharp pains proceed to shoot out in all directions like lightening bolts and basically make my hand useless. With that said, I was still taking my pain meds and being a damn slug which drives me nuts but THANK GOODNESS for my friends taking me out and keeping my mind off of it. Monday came around and a big difference occurred. I could now use my hand. *nods* Okay, diggin' this. I could even lift it almost shoulder height, pretty sweet. The exercises were FINALLY working. I swear making your fingers walk up a door seems stupid but I SOO get it now.

Enter Tuesday. Now some days last week I would forget and reach for something and major expicitives would exit my mouth usually by something falling on the ground. Yesterday was different. I forgot, however, when I picked up a "bomb" to load in the machine, not till I was half way through did I realize what happened. Enter *huge ass smiles* I decided to test it out. I lifted it straight out very slowly to shoulder height. No pain. Lifted it stratight up. No pain. Made a full circle motion... HOLY SHIT NO PAIN! So I'm on day 8 here people. I have to be realistic, I'm still suppose to be super careful for 6 more days. Otherwise, a certain person will smack me in the back of the head and I don't need a headache on top of everything else. Yes, I'm being very careful *smiles & winks* promise.

Having full function again is giving me a whole new appreciation for my health. It's onward and upward from here. The grinding noise isn't so great and is new and I was warned of this. The option to fix this is to have some of my bone shaved off. Who in the what... oh yeah, you read that right. We'll see how bad it actually is, swelling can still be a contributing factor. Wish me well on my quest to be a slug for the upcoming week. The only thing I'm lifting is my camera at the beach and my art stix to color some pics :)

Inverted Tomato by JW

"I don't know who that Granny Smith is but she sure does have a tart apple."

One of the funniest comments I've heard in a long time.... *cracks up*

Hi Pictures *waves*

With a teeny bit of persuasion, I now have two of my pics displaying at the 18th Street Gallery & Studio. It's all very strange. They will be on display in the studio part sometime next week. Makes me want to do more. Now I have to figure out what I'd like to do more of exactly?

"Walking on my path, it really feels like I'm floating along now."

What If's...

I'm finally living without what if's. My fearlessness is almost scary within itself. Interesting to say the least. I've taken 3 very big What If's and walked right into them with a very sound mind. No regrets. This is my path, the one I've searched for within myself for awhile.

Love
Dreams
Life

No particular order really. I live by my own Law of 3. I believe if you have 3 very good reasons to do something, you should do it. I also, up until recently (but I'm now rethinking), believed the reverse, 3 very bad reasons should tell you not to do it. Which brings me to my next point, if you go looking for the 3 bad reasons aren't you setting yourself up for one big What If? The pessimist. Looking for the negative, never "going for it." How many times are you going to dwell on that negative and finally look at that glass and think, "that is 1/2 of a great fucking beer, sitting there, going to waste, for what?"

"You seek up an emotion
And our cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry" DMB

I've made my cup overflow and the emotion makes it nearly impossible for me not to smile most of the time. I'm looking forward to my newest adventure with love, dreams and life. I'm taking a huge chance in a situation I never thought possible. One impulsive moment by someone proved to me what I had been missing.

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of who you were really meant to love."