Sunday, September 23, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
YAY!!!
So I was informed yesterday that I am the proud owner of an Optimus Prime Flannel Blanky! *jumps up and down* In case you didn't know, I absolutely LOVE Transformers! Alix was saying that she wanted to unfold it and my reply was, "this is one Auto bot you can't roll out." *giggles incessantly* One of the corniest things I've said but it started coming out of my mouth before I could stop it.
So I was informed yesterday that I am the proud owner of an Optimus Prime Flannel Blanky! *jumps up and down* In case you didn't know, I absolutely LOVE Transformers! Alix was saying that she wanted to unfold it and my reply was, "this is one Auto bot you can't roll out." *giggles incessantly* One of the corniest things I've said but it started coming out of my mouth before I could stop it.
Winding Down
I'm finally settling into my life. My ability to balance isn't the best yet but I'm working on it. If I'm constantly aware of it and putting in a true effort then at least I'm working toward a goal. I've also decided that not putting the laundry away as soon as it comes out of dryer won't kill anyone. It bugged me before and I'm not sure why. I like my car to be messy otherwise I can't find anything. I like my art stuff to be in perfect lines, containers and labeled but I can't lose all my quirks, right? :) I like my desk that has dvd's, my iPod plugged in, my Lappy with cable/recordable tv and pictures scattered about trying to decide which one(s) to work on next.
My router is a pain in my ass and my GPS doesn't like Windows Vista but all in all, it just makes me laugh. I don't get mad like I used to, I may get a little annoyed but I don't feel anger inside. I do things for people because I want to, not to get something out of it. I'm a nice girl. I want to stroll through life knowing that, now, I'm doing the best of my ability and more importantly, creativity.
Just feeling really balanced today. Not super tired, not cracked out awake but just floating through and it's nice.
May you walk a little lighter today...
I'm finally settling into my life. My ability to balance isn't the best yet but I'm working on it. If I'm constantly aware of it and putting in a true effort then at least I'm working toward a goal. I've also decided that not putting the laundry away as soon as it comes out of dryer won't kill anyone. It bugged me before and I'm not sure why. I like my car to be messy otherwise I can't find anything. I like my art stuff to be in perfect lines, containers and labeled but I can't lose all my quirks, right? :) I like my desk that has dvd's, my iPod plugged in, my Lappy with cable/recordable tv and pictures scattered about trying to decide which one(s) to work on next.
My router is a pain in my ass and my GPS doesn't like Windows Vista but all in all, it just makes me laugh. I don't get mad like I used to, I may get a little annoyed but I don't feel anger inside. I do things for people because I want to, not to get something out of it. I'm a nice girl. I want to stroll through life knowing that, now, I'm doing the best of my ability and more importantly, creativity.
Just feeling really balanced today. Not super tired, not cracked out awake but just floating through and it's nice.
May you walk a little lighter today...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
*tears*
So my bunco friend has passed on to walk in realms unbeknown to us on Earth. Yana you'll be terribly missed. My heart goes out to her family... may you find some kind of inner peace knowing she won't suffer anymore.
"hand to hand, heart to heart... I walk by your side, never in front to lead, never behind to leave you but as your equal, as your friend."
So my bunco friend has passed on to walk in realms unbeknown to us on Earth. Yana you'll be terribly missed. My heart goes out to her family... may you find some kind of inner peace knowing she won't suffer anymore.
"hand to hand, heart to heart... I walk by your side, never in front to lead, never behind to leave you but as your equal, as your friend."
Audit
I have to be at work in 30 minutes for an Audit by the company that basically is what keeps us running. So if we lost them, that could be major trouble. I have to wear pants, my work polo shirt and tennis shoes. I hate shoes. I want my flippy floppies. Later, they're in the car *wink*
I can't believe I'm going to work in the dark. Just thought I'd share. I have to go flat iron my rainbow hair, that should get some smiles, right?
I have to be at work in 30 minutes for an Audit by the company that basically is what keeps us running. So if we lost them, that could be major trouble. I have to wear pants, my work polo shirt and tennis shoes. I hate shoes. I want my flippy floppies. Later, they're in the car *wink*
I can't believe I'm going to work in the dark. Just thought I'd share. I have to go flat iron my rainbow hair, that should get some smiles, right?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
To my friend...
I met you 3 short years ago and I thought you are one of the most funny women I've met and you're quite spunky for your age. I love your accent and the way you connect with your daughter. You enjoy a good beer and snack with the best of us. You can roll dice and get buncos like nothing I've ever seen...
I got a call a short while ago that one of my friends from my bunco is in a medically induced coma and doesn't have much longer to live.
Yana you are an amazing gal. You've gone through 2 cancers since I've met you and you're a fighter. No one can deny that, you came to bunco with your wigs and ripped them off proclaiming, "it's cooler this way!" We would laugh and you loved your baldness and the money you were saving on shampoo. Nights when you looked down, you always found a way to smile and I've ALWAYS admired that about you. I don't know that I could be so strong and you are definitely a force to not be messed with.
As I can not stand by your side to hold your hand, I walk by your side in my thoughts...
I met you 3 short years ago and I thought you are one of the most funny women I've met and you're quite spunky for your age. I love your accent and the way you connect with your daughter. You enjoy a good beer and snack with the best of us. You can roll dice and get buncos like nothing I've ever seen...
I got a call a short while ago that one of my friends from my bunco is in a medically induced coma and doesn't have much longer to live.
Yana you are an amazing gal. You've gone through 2 cancers since I've met you and you're a fighter. No one can deny that, you came to bunco with your wigs and ripped them off proclaiming, "it's cooler this way!" We would laugh and you loved your baldness and the money you were saving on shampoo. Nights when you looked down, you always found a way to smile and I've ALWAYS admired that about you. I don't know that I could be so strong and you are definitely a force to not be messed with.
As I can not stand by your side to hold your hand, I walk by your side in my thoughts...
Friday, September 14, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Righting Wrongs... aka misunderstandings they are-a many!
So Monday night I went to a football party with some friends. I hadn't planned on it but by the request of a really awesome friend, I went and I'm glad I did. Our community is small enough that separating myself really isn't going to solve anything. The games were alright, the food was super yummy but the friends are what make it worth it. However, this is where the trouble began.
Funny how it works but some people you only see when football season comes around. Our city is big in some ways but tiny in so many as well. I'm sure this is typical in most LGBT communities but we're divided in about 4 groups. I worked really hard to mesh between 2 and have done a really great job, well so I thought.
I have been given the task to put on a Halloween party. Okay, threaten me with a great time! I have a plan. I will have lots of wonderful help and I'm even going to be given a budget. Everyone is very supportive. Well everyone but the people who were actually suppose to host the party and have for the past few years. When this idea was first brought up, it was immediately brought up that MCC (another group) needed to be contacted right away to see when their party was as to not conflict with it or step on any toes. My immediate thought was "why can't we combine the two?" Being that I am only a year into the "active" community I didn't ask, I still have a lot to learn and I'm just observing the dynamics still. Fast Forward to Monday Night when I was approached by 2 friends about the Halloween Party.
It was brought to my attention that we had squashed their party and they weren't even initially told, they found out through a 3rd party. Okay, shitty. AND I felt about this small .
Now they immediately said, they knew it wasn't my intention and I probably had no idea and by the look on my face they knew they were right. We talked it out and I apologized like a 100 times. I mean one of them really had their feelings hurt and I felt HORRIBLE about that.
I was trying to believe that there was some kind of miscommunication. After discussing it with Alix, we both thought it best, I shelf it for the night and think of a constructive way to handle this since a board meeting was the next night. GREAT ADVICE! I woke up feeling like it was time to handle my business and going to the gym before the meeting really helped me get my energy focused in a positive way. I decided that smaller was better and when I brought it up another person also had the same problem I did... what happened to the other party? After some great discussion and clearing up of A LOT of unanswered questions, it just wasn't voiced down to the right people in the right manner. So now that was cleared up but I wanted it more. *shocker, wiggles fingers* I asked, "is it possible to combine the two?" There was no resistance, no looks of horror. I explained that I would love to have a united front and combine crowds that might not normally do so. I'd like this to happen more often and I think this being such a "fun" event that this would be a great place to start. The idea was embraced and I was given reins to be the liaison between the 2. *all smiles* Part 1... DONE.
Part 2
Now I needed to contact my friends and see if they were honestly okay with the 2 combining. I called and explained EVERYTHING that had happened. My new intentions and what they thought. We discussed it and they were quite happy (well from what I could tell) and are looking forward to working together. I am also going to MCC's board meeting next week to present my ideas and start working with them on this. I was commended on my handling of situation and feel really good about how it turned out. *HUGE SMILES*
Now begin the plans, budgeting and making sure both parties stay happy and well communicated. Lots of notes and emails but I'm ready for it. This is what I do :)
So the lesson and advice here is: If you have a problem with someone/something or don't understand things that are going on, don't ask others "around" them, just go directly to the source and ask. You're going to get an honest answer and there is no guess work involved. The worst that happens is you find out the truth and there is nothing wrong with that.
So Monday night I went to a football party with some friends. I hadn't planned on it but by the request of a really awesome friend, I went and I'm glad I did. Our community is small enough that separating myself really isn't going to solve anything. The games were alright, the food was super yummy but the friends are what make it worth it. However, this is where the trouble began.
Funny how it works but some people you only see when football season comes around. Our city is big in some ways but tiny in so many as well. I'm sure this is typical in most LGBT communities but we're divided in about 4 groups. I worked really hard to mesh between 2 and have done a really great job, well so I thought.
I have been given the task to put on a Halloween party. Okay, threaten me with a great time! I have a plan. I will have lots of wonderful help and I'm even going to be given a budget. Everyone is very supportive. Well everyone but the people who were actually suppose to host the party and have for the past few years. When this idea was first brought up, it was immediately brought up that MCC (another group) needed to be contacted right away to see when their party was as to not conflict with it or step on any toes. My immediate thought was "why can't we combine the two?" Being that I am only a year into the "active" community I didn't ask, I still have a lot to learn and I'm just observing the dynamics still. Fast Forward to Monday Night when I was approached by 2 friends about the Halloween Party.
It was brought to my attention that we had squashed their party and they weren't even initially told, they found out through a 3rd party. Okay, shitty. AND I felt about this small .
Now they immediately said, they knew it wasn't my intention and I probably had no idea and by the look on my face they knew they were right. We talked it out and I apologized like a 100 times. I mean one of them really had their feelings hurt and I felt HORRIBLE about that.
I was trying to believe that there was some kind of miscommunication. After discussing it with Alix, we both thought it best, I shelf it for the night and think of a constructive way to handle this since a board meeting was the next night. GREAT ADVICE! I woke up feeling like it was time to handle my business and going to the gym before the meeting really helped me get my energy focused in a positive way. I decided that smaller was better and when I brought it up another person also had the same problem I did... what happened to the other party? After some great discussion and clearing up of A LOT of unanswered questions, it just wasn't voiced down to the right people in the right manner. So now that was cleared up but I wanted it more. *shocker, wiggles fingers* I asked, "is it possible to combine the two?" There was no resistance, no looks of horror. I explained that I would love to have a united front and combine crowds that might not normally do so. I'd like this to happen more often and I think this being such a "fun" event that this would be a great place to start. The idea was embraced and I was given reins to be the liaison between the 2. *all smiles* Part 1... DONE.
Part 2
Now I needed to contact my friends and see if they were honestly okay with the 2 combining. I called and explained EVERYTHING that had happened. My new intentions and what they thought. We discussed it and they were quite happy (well from what I could tell) and are looking forward to working together. I am also going to MCC's board meeting next week to present my ideas and start working with them on this. I was commended on my handling of situation and feel really good about how it turned out. *HUGE SMILES*
Now begin the plans, budgeting and making sure both parties stay happy and well communicated. Lots of notes and emails but I'm ready for it. This is what I do :)
So the lesson and advice here is: If you have a problem with someone/something or don't understand things that are going on, don't ask others "around" them, just go directly to the source and ask. You're going to get an honest answer and there is no guess work involved. The worst that happens is you find out the truth and there is nothing wrong with that.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
Welcome to California
So bringing the new girl into town is an event unto itself. It just so happened that Friday morning, the 31st, had a HUGE change of events. Magically Alix didn't have to move afterall and now had the entire weekend open... so by 3:00pm that afternoon we had her booked on a flight to be in BFL by 1:00am. SWEET! She was now going to be here for Pride and a little family gathering on Sunday.
I found us a hotel room for the weekend and put plans into motion. She was now going to be able to meet my friends... and my family. So far, all the family I have shared with have been very supportive of me. I'm lucky to have such an awesome family. I knew they would welcome her in the same way. Pride went off wonderfully, we had a great time and somehow, she got hooked into taking care of filler music between bands. Computers and music being her thing, she was pretty much at ease... once we got all our shit figured out :) Thanks again baby, everyone really appreciated it. She also helped me in the beer booth. That was fun within itself. It could have been 10 deg cooler but overall it was a great Pride and I can't wait to get started for next years :)
Sunday eve brought us to a small family bbq. I say small and that falls somewhere between 10-15 people. No big deal... well unless your family consists of 5. Alix walked in, smiled and I started to make the rounds with names. My uncle welcomed her in with a big hug, it was great and made me smile so big inside. We had a great time and she fit right in. My best friend of 16 years loved her and was glad to see me so happy, giving me 2 big thumbs up :)
*sigh* as always it went to fast but each time we get closer and it becomes more *wow.*
I look forward to all the "wows" of the future and key cards that won't work after one use... *wink* Thanks again baby.
So bringing the new girl into town is an event unto itself. It just so happened that Friday morning, the 31st, had a HUGE change of events. Magically Alix didn't have to move afterall and now had the entire weekend open... so by 3:00pm that afternoon we had her booked on a flight to be in BFL by 1:00am. SWEET! She was now going to be here for Pride and a little family gathering on Sunday.
I found us a hotel room for the weekend and put plans into motion. She was now going to be able to meet my friends... and my family. So far, all the family I have shared with have been very supportive of me. I'm lucky to have such an awesome family. I knew they would welcome her in the same way. Pride went off wonderfully, we had a great time and somehow, she got hooked into taking care of filler music between bands. Computers and music being her thing, she was pretty much at ease... once we got all our shit figured out :) Thanks again baby, everyone really appreciated it. She also helped me in the beer booth. That was fun within itself. It could have been 10 deg cooler but overall it was a great Pride and I can't wait to get started for next years :)
Sunday eve brought us to a small family bbq. I say small and that falls somewhere between 10-15 people. No big deal... well unless your family consists of 5. Alix walked in, smiled and I started to make the rounds with names. My uncle welcomed her in with a big hug, it was great and made me smile so big inside. We had a great time and she fit right in. My best friend of 16 years loved her and was glad to see me so happy, giving me 2 big thumbs up :)
*sigh* as always it went to fast but each time we get closer and it becomes more *wow.*
I look forward to all the "wows" of the future and key cards that won't work after one use... *wink* Thanks again baby.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The night air forced her to grab her coat and pull it a little tighter around her neck. Her breath laid a path before her to follow. The air was brisk and she could smell the rain coming in quickly. The storm was coming much faster than her computer led her to believe before she left for work. The delay at the train station didn't help much either. Tonight her walk seemed to be taking twice as long and she couldn't move her feet fast enough. There weren't many people out tonight but there were a set of steps that seemed to be keeping in good time with hers. Freakishly close, she tried to move a bit quicker and even cross the street to change it up a bit. This caused unsaid person to follow in suit. A bit of alarm came across her as if someone put a warm blanket around her. As she turned to see who was in persuit, she was greeted by a "umph" from a person. As she caught herself and looked up she saw a familar face.
"Hey what's your hurry?"
"I'm sorry but someone..." her voice trailed off as she turned around and no one was there.
"Someone... what?"
She knew that someone was right behind her, she could almost feel their breath they seemed so close. How could someone disappear like that? The eerie nights of October were making themselves quite apparent.
Fall, I welcome you and your eternal bond with unexplainable things and chills within the night. *mmm*
"Hey what's your hurry?"
"I'm sorry but someone..." her voice trailed off as she turned around and no one was there.
"Someone... what?"
She knew that someone was right behind her, she could almost feel their breath they seemed so close. How could someone disappear like that? The eerie nights of October were making themselves quite apparent.
Fall, I welcome you and your eternal bond with unexplainable things and chills within the night. *mmm*
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Bite Me
I'm just pissed off. I'm tired of my shoulder dropping me to the point of tears and nausea because the pain can be so intense with one minor move. It's been 2 fucking weeks and I can't hardly do anything. The biggest suck of them all, I can't do anything I really love, well except paint/color but athletically I'm out for the count...
I'm going to the batting cages tonight. I just don't give a fuck. It's going to hurt regardless... let's see what I can really do to agitate it. I'll deal with the aftermath tomorrow.
*deep breaths* So now almost 3 hours later and some gentleness like I've never experienced before, I'm not going tonight. I could delete the above and make this just all sappy and crap but I figure in order to learn, I need to leave it up there to remind me to not be so selfish and my actions effect others. A problem I've had and am learning how to handle with some very special help.
Everything will be ok if that's how you want it to be - just believe.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Leaps and Bounds
Flying has never been my thing. Tonight it really hit me. Plans have been made, steps are being taken and futures are falling into place. I did one of the biggest leaps of my life. I'm bound to find what I've lacked and been denied for so long. After some conversations and wonderful advice from many people, I know this path is the one that makes me happiest. Tonight a girl showed me something. Tonight I understood. In a few more moons... a new life starts. Welcome life...
*smiles*
"I fall so hard inside the idea of you, That’s why with you can say what I mean"
Flying has never been my thing. Tonight it really hit me. Plans have been made, steps are being taken and futures are falling into place. I did one of the biggest leaps of my life. I'm bound to find what I've lacked and been denied for so long. After some conversations and wonderful advice from many people, I know this path is the one that makes me happiest. Tonight a girl showed me something. Tonight I understood. In a few more moons... a new life starts. Welcome life...
*smiles*
"I fall so hard inside the idea of you, That’s why with you can say what I mean"
Saturday, August 18, 2007
I really enjoyed watching people this trip. Watching them interact as couples, families and friends. I'm a voyeur by nature, anyone who knows me, knows this. It gives me ammo for all my artistic ventures, you never know when you need to pull something from the memory banks.
You've seen this pier 100's of times, you've seen the people playing volleyball, tanning, walking, enjoying their families... falling in love but have you really ever felt it... I mean looked around and think, "shit, I have it good and look at all the people I have to share this moment with?"
My advice is take that walk, grab that hand and kiss that person like you're back in junior high and it's the first kiss of your entire life...
I've had trips to the beach by myself before but this trip had a whole new outlook for me. It was based purely on searching for pictures to shoot for painting/artistic purposes. I wandered around, met some new people and just generally had a good time wandering free. Wandering seems to be what I do best. I enjoy it. Make sure you wander once in awhile, it does wonders for the mind and soul.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Grinding noises, teaching one self how to adjust and an update:
So it's been offically a week now since I went to the doctor. Saturday still had me VERY limited on what I can do. Putting on a back pack was quite an event. It involved me sitting on the bed, while balancing the back pack upright. sliding it through the injured shoulder first, then manuevering my left one to proceed in figuring out a way in. Don't ask about getting dressed, basically a lot of wincing and weird bending. Picking up a fork off the counter hurt like hell. It was like someone took a ice pick, wedged in between where my shoulder and arm connect and wiggle it back and forth so sharp pains proceed to shoot out in all directions like lightening bolts and basically make my hand useless. With that said, I was still taking my pain meds and being a damn slug which drives me nuts but THANK GOODNESS for my friends taking me out and keeping my mind off of it. Monday came around and a big difference occurred. I could now use my hand. *nods* Okay, diggin' this. I could even lift it almost shoulder height, pretty sweet. The exercises were FINALLY working. I swear making your fingers walk up a door seems stupid but I SOO get it now.
Enter Tuesday. Now some days last week I would forget and reach for something and major expicitives would exit my mouth usually by something falling on the ground. Yesterday was different. I forgot, however, when I picked up a "bomb" to load in the machine, not till I was half way through did I realize what happened. Enter *huge ass smiles* I decided to test it out. I lifted it straight out very slowly to shoulder height. No pain. Lifted it stratight up. No pain. Made a full circle motion... HOLY SHIT NO PAIN! So I'm on day 8 here people. I have to be realistic, I'm still suppose to be super careful for 6 more days. Otherwise, a certain person will smack me in the back of the head and I don't need a headache on top of everything else. Yes, I'm being very careful *smiles & winks* promise.
Having full function again is giving me a whole new appreciation for my health. It's onward and upward from here. The grinding noise isn't so great and is new and I was warned of this. The option to fix this is to have some of my bone shaved off. Who in the what... oh yeah, you read that right. We'll see how bad it actually is, swelling can still be a contributing factor. Wish me well on my quest to be a slug for the upcoming week. The only thing I'm lifting is my camera at the beach and my art stix to color some pics :)
So it's been offically a week now since I went to the doctor. Saturday still had me VERY limited on what I can do. Putting on a back pack was quite an event. It involved me sitting on the bed, while balancing the back pack upright. sliding it through the injured shoulder first, then manuevering my left one to proceed in figuring out a way in. Don't ask about getting dressed, basically a lot of wincing and weird bending. Picking up a fork off the counter hurt like hell. It was like someone took a ice pick, wedged in between where my shoulder and arm connect and wiggle it back and forth so sharp pains proceed to shoot out in all directions like lightening bolts and basically make my hand useless. With that said, I was still taking my pain meds and being a damn slug which drives me nuts but THANK GOODNESS for my friends taking me out and keeping my mind off of it. Monday came around and a big difference occurred. I could now use my hand. *nods* Okay, diggin' this. I could even lift it almost shoulder height, pretty sweet. The exercises were FINALLY working. I swear making your fingers walk up a door seems stupid but I SOO get it now.
Enter Tuesday. Now some days last week I would forget and reach for something and major expicitives would exit my mouth usually by something falling on the ground. Yesterday was different. I forgot, however, when I picked up a "bomb" to load in the machine, not till I was half way through did I realize what happened. Enter *huge ass smiles* I decided to test it out. I lifted it straight out very slowly to shoulder height. No pain. Lifted it stratight up. No pain. Made a full circle motion... HOLY SHIT NO PAIN! So I'm on day 8 here people. I have to be realistic, I'm still suppose to be super careful for 6 more days. Otherwise, a certain person will smack me in the back of the head and I don't need a headache on top of everything else. Yes, I'm being very careful *smiles & winks* promise.
Having full function again is giving me a whole new appreciation for my health. It's onward and upward from here. The grinding noise isn't so great and is new and I was warned of this. The option to fix this is to have some of my bone shaved off. Who in the what... oh yeah, you read that right. We'll see how bad it actually is, swelling can still be a contributing factor. Wish me well on my quest to be a slug for the upcoming week. The only thing I'm lifting is my camera at the beach and my art stix to color some pics :)
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Hi Pictures *waves*
With a teeny bit of persuasion, I now have two of my pics displaying at the 18th Street Gallery & Studio. It's all very strange. They will be on display in the studio part sometime next week. Makes me want to do more. Now I have to figure out what I'd like to do more of exactly?
"Walking on my path, it really feels like I'm floating along now."
With a teeny bit of persuasion, I now have two of my pics displaying at the 18th Street Gallery & Studio. It's all very strange. They will be on display in the studio part sometime next week. Makes me want to do more. Now I have to figure out what I'd like to do more of exactly?
"Walking on my path, it really feels like I'm floating along now."
What If's...
I'm finally living without what if's. My fearlessness is almost scary within itself. Interesting to say the least. I've taken 3 very big What If's and walked right into them with a very sound mind. No regrets. This is my path, the one I've searched for within myself for awhile.
Love
Dreams
Life
No particular order really. I live by my own Law of 3. I believe if you have 3 very good reasons to do something, you should do it. I also, up until recently (but I'm now rethinking), believed the reverse, 3 very bad reasons should tell you not to do it. Which brings me to my next point, if you go looking for the 3 bad reasons aren't you setting yourself up for one big What If? The pessimist. Looking for the negative, never "going for it." How many times are you going to dwell on that negative and finally look at that glass and think, "that is 1/2 of a great fucking beer, sitting there, going to waste, for what?"
"You seek up an emotion
And our cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry" DMB
I've made my cup overflow and the emotion makes it nearly impossible for me not to smile most of the time. I'm looking forward to my newest adventure with love, dreams and life. I'm taking a huge chance in a situation I never thought possible. One impulsive moment by someone proved to me what I had been missing.
"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of who you were really meant to love."
I'm finally living without what if's. My fearlessness is almost scary within itself. Interesting to say the least. I've taken 3 very big What If's and walked right into them with a very sound mind. No regrets. This is my path, the one I've searched for within myself for awhile.
Love
Dreams
Life
No particular order really. I live by my own Law of 3. I believe if you have 3 very good reasons to do something, you should do it. I also, up until recently (but I'm now rethinking), believed the reverse, 3 very bad reasons should tell you not to do it. Which brings me to my next point, if you go looking for the 3 bad reasons aren't you setting yourself up for one big What If? The pessimist. Looking for the negative, never "going for it." How many times are you going to dwell on that negative and finally look at that glass and think, "that is 1/2 of a great fucking beer, sitting there, going to waste, for what?"
"You seek up an emotion
And our cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry" DMB
I've made my cup overflow and the emotion makes it nearly impossible for me not to smile most of the time. I'm looking forward to my newest adventure with love, dreams and life. I'm taking a huge chance in a situation I never thought possible. One impulsive moment by someone proved to me what I had been missing.
"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of who you were really meant to love."
Friday, August 10, 2007
Halloween is alright, I guess... *laughs uncontrollably*
Anyone who knows me, knows I am seriously into Halloween. I am all about "doin' it up." I'm not sure whose house I will decorate this year, I have 2 options. In all seriousness though, I could (if I had the time) decorate both :) Oh yeah, I have that much stuff. I have also met my match. My new friend JW apparently loves All Hallows Eve just as much and has even rented a storage unit just for all her stuff. Okay! Jealous a little? HELLS YEAH! We're going to collaborate I think... should be *looks around* hellish...
So I thought I should decorate my blog a little. August, you ask? For reals people. I like my little banner up top and yes, you see it correctly, that is a counter to Halloween. Hope its right, guess I'll know tomorrow when it says 1 of 3 things, either 82 which will put a sad face on me, 81 which will get a "Yippee I did it right!" or 83 which now I have just discovered how to make a timer go backwards and need to copyright that shit which will put the puzzled look on my face. Kind of like when you give a 3 yr. old a square block to put in a round hole, just like that face.
So get ready peeps :) If you have not witnessed my methods of madness. Go back to my October 2006 blog, well maybe November 2006, not sure when I posted those pics. Yeah, you know what? Try November, I'm going with November.
Anyone who knows me, knows I am seriously into Halloween. I am all about "doin' it up." I'm not sure whose house I will decorate this year, I have 2 options. In all seriousness though, I could (if I had the time) decorate both :) Oh yeah, I have that much stuff. I have also met my match. My new friend JW apparently loves All Hallows Eve just as much and has even rented a storage unit just for all her stuff. Okay! Jealous a little? HELLS YEAH! We're going to collaborate I think... should be *looks around* hellish...
So I thought I should decorate my blog a little. August, you ask? For reals people. I like my little banner up top and yes, you see it correctly, that is a counter to Halloween. Hope its right, guess I'll know tomorrow when it says 1 of 3 things, either 82 which will put a sad face on me, 81 which will get a "Yippee I did it right!" or 83 which now I have just discovered how to make a timer go backwards and need to copyright that shit which will put the puzzled look on my face. Kind of like when you give a 3 yr. old a square block to put in a round hole, just like that face.
So get ready peeps :) If you have not witnessed my methods of madness. Go back to my October 2006 blog, well maybe November 2006, not sure when I posted those pics. Yeah, you know what? Try November, I'm going with November.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
2 weeks in Hell
So yeah. I've been in a transition phase, well for these purposes that's what we'll call it. I've been moving a lot of stuff, reorganizing a lot of stuff and just doing A LOT of stuff. I have also had this pain in my shoulder building. Now when it started to affect my job, I learned to use my left hand more but when I went to pick up a small cylinder and there was the worst pinching/burning sensation I had ever felt and had to throw it across the room versus dropping it on my foot, I knew it was bad. I fought it for a week but never rested it. In stead, I thought cleaning out my friends garage by myself one morning was the best way to make it feel better or not so much.
Monday I came to work and my mobility was definitely in question. I made a doctors appointment for later that evening. I had obviously let it go too long as it was. I dreaded every moment until that doc appointment. I hate the doctor, they make my blood pressure rise, my heart race and I go pale. A good trick for any Mexican really. So the tiny Chinese Lady Doctor kicked my ass. She made my shoulder/arm do motions that someone should not have to do in my state. I went in there with a pain level of 4 and walked out about a 9. There was no way I could sit and it not hurt in some way. It was throbbing and I was miserable. She prescribed me some ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer for night time. She also told me, no sports for 2 weeks, no moving things and she tried to get me to take some time off work... yeah right. She was very specific on how my life can unfold in the next 2 weeks, none of the options I like but will deal with when the time comes. For now, I have pills and these nasty exercises she gave me.
So yeah. I've been in a transition phase, well for these purposes that's what we'll call it. I've been moving a lot of stuff, reorganizing a lot of stuff and just doing A LOT of stuff. I have also had this pain in my shoulder building. Now when it started to affect my job, I learned to use my left hand more but when I went to pick up a small cylinder and there was the worst pinching/burning sensation I had ever felt and had to throw it across the room versus dropping it on my foot, I knew it was bad. I fought it for a week but never rested it. In stead, I thought cleaning out my friends garage by myself one morning was the best way to make it feel better or not so much.
Monday I came to work and my mobility was definitely in question. I made a doctors appointment for later that evening. I had obviously let it go too long as it was. I dreaded every moment until that doc appointment. I hate the doctor, they make my blood pressure rise, my heart race and I go pale. A good trick for any Mexican really. So the tiny Chinese Lady Doctor kicked my ass. She made my shoulder/arm do motions that someone should not have to do in my state. I went in there with a pain level of 4 and walked out about a 9. There was no way I could sit and it not hurt in some way. It was throbbing and I was miserable. She prescribed me some ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer for night time. She also told me, no sports for 2 weeks, no moving things and she tried to get me to take some time off work... yeah right. She was very specific on how my life can unfold in the next 2 weeks, none of the options I like but will deal with when the time comes. For now, I have pills and these nasty exercises she gave me.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Coming around...
My new work area. I've had to slim down and I like it. I've got quite the work force backing me. As you can see, I'm near ready to go. It's really exciting to sit down and feel so much flowing through me. I can't remember feeling like this for some time now.
My new work area. I've had to slim down and I like it. I've got quite the work force backing me. As you can see, I'm near ready to go. It's really exciting to sit down and feel so much flowing through me. I can't remember feeling like this for some time now.
My first victim. One of my favorite prints from the Arboretum. Sadness! The color pencils didn't work out so great but the color stix are awesome! Yay for color stix!
The red was fun, these make shading really easy. Hard to see in this pic, I'll have to get a little work lamp for my desk to show the colors better but for now, I know it looks cool.
The orange is kinda hard to see but it's there.
You can see the orange a little better but the light yellow is pretty tough to see. Looks much better live.
So with that little bit of color it really makes the flowers jump off the print. I was near tears at one point because I hadn't felt such pure happiness in a long time. All of it felt so natural and simple and nothing was clouding my mind. I didn't feel so stressed out. As the days go on and I get more settled in and organized, it's getting easier to just plop down and think of things to create. I even carry a sketch book with me now in the car, things are fleeting from my soul. I haven't felt like this since Molly. I'm not sure why her death was so hard for me but some part of me disappeared when she stopped walking on this Earth.
Yes I know you can do this in photoshop or whatever digital thingie you like to use. Seeing as how I still use film, this form of art suits me just perfectly. This is a lost art, most people haven't even heard of doing such a thing. I'm starting at this point and will move on to painting with oils on the pics. I'm really looking forward to that, the colors on those will be quite vibrant but for now I'm enjoying the subtlties of what the color stix can do.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Misconceptions
So I've been thinking a lot lately about decisions I've made. Tough as they may have been I think I deserve to be happy. Now most people who say they care about you usually make some attempt to say, "well all I want is for you to be happy." As most of us very much know, that is a load of crap. It is what it is. I'm not happy therefore I hope the bowels of hell draw you in and make you watch me in my infinite happiness that ultimately I WILL have.
Enter the term Karma. I know it all too well. Now here is where my title comes in. Karma is not your act of vengeance but the total effect of a person's actions and conduct during phases of the person's existence which ultimately are regarded as determining a person's destiny.
Layman's terms: if you do something with pure evil intent behind it, you will in turn define your own destiny to turn out the same.
So if someone is unhappy, I mean genuinely not happy and hurting inside from lying to themselves for so long and living someone else's dream, how does that become fair that vengeance be cast upon them but have karma (which they actually live by daily) be used against them?
I know some of you believe Karma will be returned to me in some way, shape or form. I say to you, call it what it is and that be vengeance. I'm sorry you chose to live with such heavy thoughts and if you really want such a thing, be careful what you wish for, I could be gone in an instant... and then you got what you wanted or did you?
So I've been thinking a lot lately about decisions I've made. Tough as they may have been I think I deserve to be happy. Now most people who say they care about you usually make some attempt to say, "well all I want is for you to be happy." As most of us very much know, that is a load of crap. It is what it is. I'm not happy therefore I hope the bowels of hell draw you in and make you watch me in my infinite happiness that ultimately I WILL have.
Enter the term Karma. I know it all too well. Now here is where my title comes in. Karma is not your act of vengeance but the total effect of a person's actions and conduct during phases of the person's existence which ultimately are regarded as determining a person's destiny.
Layman's terms: if you do something with pure evil intent behind it, you will in turn define your own destiny to turn out the same.
So if someone is unhappy, I mean genuinely not happy and hurting inside from lying to themselves for so long and living someone else's dream, how does that become fair that vengeance be cast upon them but have karma (which they actually live by daily) be used against them?
I know some of you believe Karma will be returned to me in some way, shape or form. I say to you, call it what it is and that be vengeance. I'm sorry you chose to live with such heavy thoughts and if you really want such a thing, be careful what you wish for, I could be gone in an instant... and then you got what you wanted or did you?
Universe is on your side...
I got one of the most alarming txts ever yesterday. Without spilling too much of someone elses life on my blog, a threat was made, court executed and then revoked because other said party was a fucking idiot.
The amount of hate and discrimination in this world sometimes disgusts me so much to the point it makes my soul ache. How can someone that is caring and continually trying to do the right thing, be put in such shitty situation after shitty situation?
I can only believe maybe the universe is testing his will and showing him if you can get through this, you truly can get through everything. So far I've been right. I only want him and his daughter to find happiness in life. So congrats to you both, I'm glad you still got to enjoy your nightly walk.
Your bond is as strong as you will it to be, no one can take that away from you. Regardless if you're in the same house or miles away. Never forget that.
I got one of the most alarming txts ever yesterday. Without spilling too much of someone elses life on my blog, a threat was made, court executed and then revoked because other said party was a fucking idiot.
The amount of hate and discrimination in this world sometimes disgusts me so much to the point it makes my soul ache. How can someone that is caring and continually trying to do the right thing, be put in such shitty situation after shitty situation?
I can only believe maybe the universe is testing his will and showing him if you can get through this, you truly can get through everything. So far I've been right. I only want him and his daughter to find happiness in life. So congrats to you both, I'm glad you still got to enjoy your nightly walk.
Your bond is as strong as you will it to be, no one can take that away from you. Regardless if you're in the same house or miles away. Never forget that.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
And so it begins...
In moving forward sometimes you don't think about what's left behind.
Future = Forward
In order to begin again, constantly revisiting old wounds and trying to retear them open just prolongs the inevitable and quite possibly pushes away any normalcy that could be with others in the future.
Two paths once on the same road. One thought this shortcut was the way to go and the other wanted the scenic route. Hoping they would eventually meet up, one made it to where the roads met and the other did not.
Question is this: does she wait or does she go on...
In moving forward sometimes you don't think about what's left behind.
Future = Forward
In order to begin again, constantly revisiting old wounds and trying to retear them open just prolongs the inevitable and quite possibly pushes away any normalcy that could be with others in the future.
Two paths once on the same road. One thought this shortcut was the way to go and the other wanted the scenic route. Hoping they would eventually meet up, one made it to where the roads met and the other did not.
Question is this: does she wait or does she go on...
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Moving Along
You always here those cliches. You know the ones? They want to make you scratch you're eyeballs with Freddie Krugers claws and then launch them at the people spouting off those words of wisdom. No I'm not bitter at all. Really I'm not. I am in a bit of a mood though.
"Well it's all for the best." IF it was really for the best, why does it hurt so much? Fuck you #1.
"Time heals all wounds." No shit asshole. Fuck you #2
"There's no place like home." Well what happens when one of the parties in said home decide to leave? Then the home is just a house... Fuck you #3
"The light at the end of the tunnel." I like the dark anyway. Fuck you #4
"Love is blind" That goes for falling out of too... sometimes it's gone and you never even saw it coming or going as the case may be... FUCK YOU #5
You always here those cliches. You know the ones? They want to make you scratch you're eyeballs with Freddie Krugers claws and then launch them at the people spouting off those words of wisdom. No I'm not bitter at all. Really I'm not. I am in a bit of a mood though.
"Well it's all for the best." IF it was really for the best, why does it hurt so much? Fuck you #1.
"Time heals all wounds." No shit asshole. Fuck you #2
"There's no place like home." Well what happens when one of the parties in said home decide to leave? Then the home is just a house... Fuck you #3
"The light at the end of the tunnel." I like the dark anyway. Fuck you #4
"Love is blind" That goes for falling out of too... sometimes it's gone and you never even saw it coming or going as the case may be... FUCK YOU #5
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Tree/Flower Zoo
So this past weekend I was at the L.A. Arboretum in Arcadia, CA. Basically, its a zoo of plants, flowers and such. Very beautiful and a place to be visited often. Anyway, believe it or not, I resigned as the Executive Board Secretary for the Turtle & Tortoise Society. Oh yeah, you read that right. I'm thinning and reshaping my life and I'm taking it very seriously. I have so much I want to do and keeping myself so busy isn't making me happy. I thought that's what grown ups do but guess what? I don't function well with the business aspect of it all. And I'm learning, that's okay.
Anyway, I really have my camera outfitted pretty well (well both cameras) and I decided after my LAST official meeting, I was going to take some black & whites (yes actual film, I don't do digital) so I can work on the next part of what I want to learn. Painting on pictures. In order to do that you need some good black & whites to blow up. I think I got some. Here are a few of the pics I did. I'm pretty rusty but I didn't do too badly.
So this past weekend I was at the L.A. Arboretum in Arcadia, CA. Basically, its a zoo of plants, flowers and such. Very beautiful and a place to be visited often. Anyway, believe it or not, I resigned as the Executive Board Secretary for the Turtle & Tortoise Society. Oh yeah, you read that right. I'm thinning and reshaping my life and I'm taking it very seriously. I have so much I want to do and keeping myself so busy isn't making me happy. I thought that's what grown ups do but guess what? I don't function well with the business aspect of it all. And I'm learning, that's okay.
Anyway, I really have my camera outfitted pretty well (well both cameras) and I decided after my LAST official meeting, I was going to take some black & whites (yes actual film, I don't do digital) so I can work on the next part of what I want to learn. Painting on pictures. In order to do that you need some good black & whites to blow up. I think I got some. Here are a few of the pics I did. I'm pretty rusty but I didn't do too badly.
Hello fun stuff
Okay, my first attempt at actual double exposure. SWEET! It worked. Not the best but not bad for my first one. The web looking background is a spiny bush with mini lilac flowers in it. I like it!
Some Asian women kept chasing this poor guy up a walk way, no matter where he ran to, they tried to get right next to him. He finally got fed up and went up a tree to get away from them. I was getting ready to head out for the day and thought this was a pretty shot.
My favorite flower... the Tiger Lily. I took out a Macro +10 filter cap, screwed it on and this is what I got. Pretty cool. Needs some work but it's pretty tricky to work with.
Basking in the sun, this peakcock was talking an awful lot. He kept giving me the "eye." I caught him with his beak open while he was yelling.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 09, 2007
Card Pulled: Shouldawouldacoulda
After explaining my dilemma to a friend about the book incident of 2007. He pulled 2 cards on me. The "what if" and "time lost/wasted" cards. Ouch. Talk about hitting the nail on the head. So after feeling pretty ridiculous about not buying the book, I decided since I had to pick up some photos and it was going to be on my way home, I should just buy the damn thing.
So I walk in and take in the smell of the books and head toward the back to the art section. I scan the area and can't find the book. Well of course I can't. I read that section over twice and it just wasn't there. I went to the not-so-help center and of course they could answer this. It was sold yesterday. Apparently, it was a hotter commodity then I thought.
Lesson: I "shoulda" bought it. Then I "woulda" had it and I "coulda" been on my way to drawing. DAMN IT!
After explaining my dilemma to a friend about the book incident of 2007. He pulled 2 cards on me. The "what if" and "time lost/wasted" cards. Ouch. Talk about hitting the nail on the head. So after feeling pretty ridiculous about not buying the book, I decided since I had to pick up some photos and it was going to be on my way home, I should just buy the damn thing.
So I walk in and take in the smell of the books and head toward the back to the art section. I scan the area and can't find the book. Well of course I can't. I read that section over twice and it just wasn't there. I went to the not-so-help center and of course they could answer this. It was sold yesterday. Apparently, it was a hotter commodity then I thought.
Lesson: I "shoulda" bought it. Then I "woulda" had it and I "coulda" been on my way to drawing. DAMN IT!
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Playing the Part of a Chicken
So I spent a portion of my day at Barnes & Noble working on notes and such. It is far less destracting than my own home even with all of the books surrounding me. I found a cozy seat by the cafe which lofted out some very yummy smells but I resisted and kept right on working along. Unfortunately, about 20 minutes before I needed to leave to meet for dinner, my lappy battery died. Well F*%@. I didn't want to arrive at BJ's too early because they are one of the only places that carries cider on tap and I was only going to have one since they are a tad on the strong side. So I decided to see if B&N had any art books I couldn't live without. I couldn't find one in particular I was looking for and the guy looked at me like I was a ghost when I explained to him what I was looking for. People skills, come on dude, grab some, I know you have books on that shit.
Anyway, I did run across one on the How to character faerys and other mythical creatures. OMGosh! I've been wanting to do this but I don't necessarily know the "rules" or if there are any to what they can and can't have. So I found this book to be very handy. So I was all gung-ho for about 3 minutes. I headed toward the front to pay for it and it happened. I looked down at it and started thinking... what if I can't do it? What if they don't come out right or I can't get the structures of their details right on. I can't certainly display anything that looks like shit...
I set the book down and walked out. Fear of Failure. So far my mind is winning over my desire.
So I had an extra cider to make me a little more giddy and forget about my internal struggle that happened 60 minutes prior.
Fear - 1
Me - - I can't even justify a zero, my 3 minute attempt was just sad.
*sigh*
So I spent a portion of my day at Barnes & Noble working on notes and such. It is far less destracting than my own home even with all of the books surrounding me. I found a cozy seat by the cafe which lofted out some very yummy smells but I resisted and kept right on working along. Unfortunately, about 20 minutes before I needed to leave to meet for dinner, my lappy battery died. Well F*%@. I didn't want to arrive at BJ's too early because they are one of the only places that carries cider on tap and I was only going to have one since they are a tad on the strong side. So I decided to see if B&N had any art books I couldn't live without. I couldn't find one in particular I was looking for and the guy looked at me like I was a ghost when I explained to him what I was looking for. People skills, come on dude, grab some, I know you have books on that shit.
Anyway, I did run across one on the How to character faerys and other mythical creatures. OMGosh! I've been wanting to do this but I don't necessarily know the "rules" or if there are any to what they can and can't have. So I found this book to be very handy. So I was all gung-ho for about 3 minutes. I headed toward the front to pay for it and it happened. I looked down at it and started thinking... what if I can't do it? What if they don't come out right or I can't get the structures of their details right on. I can't certainly display anything that looks like shit...
I set the book down and walked out. Fear of Failure. So far my mind is winning over my desire.
So I had an extra cider to make me a little more giddy and forget about my internal struggle that happened 60 minutes prior.
Fear - 1
Me - - I can't even justify a zero, my 3 minute attempt was just sad.
*sigh*
Friday, July 06, 2007
Ghost Hunters
Okay so I called my friend to see if she wanted to meet me down at the batting cages. Her response was simply this, "Oh I want to but we're going ghost hunting downtown. Wanna come?" Now to some of you this may sound a bit odd but I thought it sounded like a lot of fun. Now see they weren't meeting till 10:00pm at the #1 haunted building in Bakersfield: The Haberfield Building. So I told her I'd call her if we could make it. I bounced the idea around in my head because there was that voice. You know the one. "You need to get to bed early, you have a lot of work to do tomorrow." As I was about to give in, I snapped up my head and became really angry. I have no children. I can drink a little caffine and sleep in on the weekend. If I want to go ghost hunting, I should just go ghost hunting. I walked in that batting cage and killed that ball. I am tired of always doing "the right" thing. I want to have fun and sleep should not be why I don't do something. I can always catch up on sleep.
So after 30 minutes of killing the ball and myself, we hurried home to change and head downtown. We got there and settled in. Jenn gave us some background on the store and things that have occured over time. Apparently, this ghostie or ghosties do not like the beanie babies in the store. It or they also like to rearrange things around the store as well. She took us around and showed us different parts and rooms around the store.
So we got our instructions and just sat around, attempting to be quiet but put 8 of us together, 2 being big chickens and it makes it kinda hard to be quiet. Lots of giggling and such. We decided to roam around a bit with the night vision cam (very fucking cool btw). Denise handed it to me and I started to walk toward some of the back rooms and it shut off. Weird cause I my hand felt like it got bumped and then the camera turned off. Okay whatever. Then she had trouble getting it back on and decided to talk to the ghost: "Okay little ghostie, since you're so technologically advanced, why don't you turn the fucking thing back on." I don't know that I've laughed that hard in a long time. Leave it to Denise.
So we were all gathered toward the middle of the shop discussing some stuff and all of the sudden the credit machine starts printing out a receipt, over and over and over. We ran over there to see who did it but we realized we were all together. It wasn't on a whole hour it was 10:57, so it's not like it would be set to print end of the day receipts and it only printed one thing but 3 times. Okaayyy.
To which we walked into the other room to grab the paper and noticed a piggy beanie on the ground. Okay who threw the pig on the ground. Again, we were all together, no one went off alone. At the beginning we took pics of all the areas where things have moved or had something seen. Aaron pulled up some pics he took and one of them showed the pig on the stand with the other beanies. Weird. So Denise decided to sit in that corner because she thought the ghostie was hanging out there. She decided to just ask the ghost if it was there and she noticed a starfish beanie moving. So she asked again and it moved again. Then she began asking yes or no questions and each time this little starfish beanie would wiggle. Clearly move and not just in front of her. Creeeepppyy.
So we heard some chairs (or what sounded like chairs) being dragged across the floor above our heads. So 3 of them ran upstairs to see if they could find anything. Just some abandoned rooms, no chairs, no nothing. Alrighty.
Ghosties? Maybe, but we plan on staying the night some time in the near future to see what happens in the witching hours, it should be fun.
What do you believe in....
Okay so I called my friend to see if she wanted to meet me down at the batting cages. Her response was simply this, "Oh I want to but we're going ghost hunting downtown. Wanna come?" Now to some of you this may sound a bit odd but I thought it sounded like a lot of fun. Now see they weren't meeting till 10:00pm at the #1 haunted building in Bakersfield: The Haberfield Building. So I told her I'd call her if we could make it. I bounced the idea around in my head because there was that voice. You know the one. "You need to get to bed early, you have a lot of work to do tomorrow." As I was about to give in, I snapped up my head and became really angry. I have no children. I can drink a little caffine and sleep in on the weekend. If I want to go ghost hunting, I should just go ghost hunting. I walked in that batting cage and killed that ball. I am tired of always doing "the right" thing. I want to have fun and sleep should not be why I don't do something. I can always catch up on sleep.
So after 30 minutes of killing the ball and myself, we hurried home to change and head downtown. We got there and settled in. Jenn gave us some background on the store and things that have occured over time. Apparently, this ghostie or ghosties do not like the beanie babies in the store. It or they also like to rearrange things around the store as well. She took us around and showed us different parts and rooms around the store.
So we got our instructions and just sat around, attempting to be quiet but put 8 of us together, 2 being big chickens and it makes it kinda hard to be quiet. Lots of giggling and such. We decided to roam around a bit with the night vision cam (very fucking cool btw). Denise handed it to me and I started to walk toward some of the back rooms and it shut off. Weird cause I my hand felt like it got bumped and then the camera turned off. Okay whatever. Then she had trouble getting it back on and decided to talk to the ghost: "Okay little ghostie, since you're so technologically advanced, why don't you turn the fucking thing back on." I don't know that I've laughed that hard in a long time. Leave it to Denise.
So we were all gathered toward the middle of the shop discussing some stuff and all of the sudden the credit machine starts printing out a receipt, over and over and over. We ran over there to see who did it but we realized we were all together. It wasn't on a whole hour it was 10:57, so it's not like it would be set to print end of the day receipts and it only printed one thing but 3 times. Okaayyy.
To which we walked into the other room to grab the paper and noticed a piggy beanie on the ground. Okay who threw the pig on the ground. Again, we were all together, no one went off alone. At the beginning we took pics of all the areas where things have moved or had something seen. Aaron pulled up some pics he took and one of them showed the pig on the stand with the other beanies. Weird. So Denise decided to sit in that corner because she thought the ghostie was hanging out there. She decided to just ask the ghost if it was there and she noticed a starfish beanie moving. So she asked again and it moved again. Then she began asking yes or no questions and each time this little starfish beanie would wiggle. Clearly move and not just in front of her. Creeeepppyy.
So we heard some chairs (or what sounded like chairs) being dragged across the floor above our heads. So 3 of them ran upstairs to see if they could find anything. Just some abandoned rooms, no chairs, no nothing. Alrighty.
Ghosties? Maybe, but we plan on staying the night some time in the near future to see what happens in the witching hours, it should be fun.
What do you believe in....
Gallery Find
So in my latest adventures in life I have been lucky enough to have met 2 very awesome girls. They own their own Art Galley on 18th Street. Although they may not have it for much longer, I'm glad to have got to see it and will enjoy it for the next few months.
They had a Queen Mab Exhibit/Opening last weekend. I worked a good portion of the day but left to make the end of the show. This particular table had a fun little creature on it. Among a lot of other things. I was drawn to him right away. We wandered around and took it all in. So many things I want to try and explore, I can hardly wait. We have some talented people in this town and it was so cool to see all their ideas come to life.
We chatted with a few different people, continued looking around and enjoying all the creative energy around us. All the while keeping my eye on that little guy. Finally, I walked over to his card and he wasn't badly priced at all. I walked out to my car and grabbed some money to buy him. I named him Widget and he has found a nice place on my shelf near my faery pics and my cheshire cat. He is chatty and gets along great in my "space."
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Where to start...
So I really left for awhile. I don't think I've ever only had 2 blogs in a month. A lot has happened in the past weeks. So much in fact, I wouldn't even know where to start on an update. It's so blurry and so menacing in some ways. My blogs for awhile will be dark, will be vague and will be a lot of jumbled thoughts. I've reached a critical part of my life where doing the right thing doesn't necessarily mean it was the right thing for me. Unfortuantely, people tend to get hurt when such changes occur and that is by far, the hardest part. Mistakes have been made. That is life and it is how we learn. Unforgiveable, hard to say right now. Really causes one to disect herself.
I am working on me. I am finding out what makes me "tick." I mean I enjoy many aspects of my life but I live in fear. "Well who doesn't?" You may ask. Good point but my fear is fixable. This particular fear is failure. From a person who is controlling, the idea of not being able to control a situation or outcome in this case, does not sit well. So somewhere in past years I decided, well subconsciously, to not try at all. Can't fail if you don't put yourself out there.
So in stepping outside of myself and looking at all the things I do I really wonder why I keep certain things in my life that really just give me a lot of grief and don't make me happy. I am working on ways of thinning and it is coming along but as with anything, it takes time. I am more importantly, adding things I've always wanted to do but was afraid to. We'll see where that gets me.
Vague? Yes I know but this is more about reflection pieces for myself. So do with it, as you please.
So I really left for awhile. I don't think I've ever only had 2 blogs in a month. A lot has happened in the past weeks. So much in fact, I wouldn't even know where to start on an update. It's so blurry and so menacing in some ways. My blogs for awhile will be dark, will be vague and will be a lot of jumbled thoughts. I've reached a critical part of my life where doing the right thing doesn't necessarily mean it was the right thing for me. Unfortuantely, people tend to get hurt when such changes occur and that is by far, the hardest part. Mistakes have been made. That is life and it is how we learn. Unforgiveable, hard to say right now. Really causes one to disect herself.
I am working on me. I am finding out what makes me "tick." I mean I enjoy many aspects of my life but I live in fear. "Well who doesn't?" You may ask. Good point but my fear is fixable. This particular fear is failure. From a person who is controlling, the idea of not being able to control a situation or outcome in this case, does not sit well. So somewhere in past years I decided, well subconsciously, to not try at all. Can't fail if you don't put yourself out there.
So in stepping outside of myself and looking at all the things I do I really wonder why I keep certain things in my life that really just give me a lot of grief and don't make me happy. I am working on ways of thinning and it is coming along but as with anything, it takes time. I am more importantly, adding things I've always wanted to do but was afraid to. We'll see where that gets me.
Vague? Yes I know but this is more about reflection pieces for myself. So do with it, as you please.
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